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The mind creates currents that ebb and flow until they pass through the head water and into the run off. They need to be seized when they first begin to seep out of the tidal basin and channeled and led to where they can flow down the mountain and out towards the sea. Imagination and its expression is very similar to the life of a beaver, always active and always busy.

i closed my eyes only to see that the only thing i could think about was everything i’d beed recently thinking about. it would be so lovely to have something NEW. something that really throws you off the edge and then catches you, swoops you right up midair!! How marvelous it would be to be so very high up in perhaps a ballon with you. I can’t say that about them all. makes me wonder what it is about you… your eyes… your laugh… your hands… on me…

This is a story I can’t tell without starting over a hundred times to tell the good parts again.
It was fall. She was scattered bits of who she had once been, with scars to show for every step away from who she thought she would be, one day.
She was lost and she was lonely, and she was a piece of a puzzle that no one understood was being put together, except the Jig Saw Man himself, and he didn’t let anyone else in on his secrets.
It was winter. She was hurting but still managed to plaster on a smile over the fake-real face that actually belonged to her; her dad was an acting major and tricks like faking honesty rub off pretty easily.
She was smart and brave, even though she didn’t like being left alone when the snow was falling so heavily outside that it made the streetlamps look bright.
It was spring. She was on fire, and doing well, and breaking hearts without meaning to, and she was her own person up to a point. That point was where she became someone else, but it was only for an hour at a time, at first, and no one really noticed anyway.
She always liked to pretend that maybe she was someone important in a far off land, but when it came down to it, she was beginning to understand that she was just another heartbeat.
It was summer. She discovered importance and self-worth and someone asked her what it was like to be well and truly alive. She had an answer for him.
She said that being alive began in the fall, when the trees shed their colors like old friends they couldn’t hold onto any longer. She told him about herself, but from a distance, and how she had been lost and lonely, scattered and broken.
He looked at her and said she was still broken, still lost and lonely, but that only the wanderers of the world ever truly can get where they’re going.

In god we trust.
In god, we trust.
We, in god, trust.
In trust, we god.
God in we trust.

I guess it all depends on the phrasing.
I trust the god in you, if you’ve got enough trust of your own for the god lurking under my shallow skin.

You want to know what she really looked like, that late morning in december?

She looked like a tree when all its leaves have fallen off. She looked like hell, like a winded horse tottering another few steps to its death. She looked like slow motion, like the knife sticking out of a turkey on Thanksgiving night and no one around the table to celebrate.

She looked like nothing you’d ever have seen before, but like something you might have, since.

She was standing in place while in slow motion, head turned, arm up, purse slung across her chest and her -

Screw it. You want to know what she looked like, but there’s no way to explain. It’s like trying to explain color to a deaf man who understands the concept, but can’t get the words.

i step down the steps, looking at my future right before i land. don’t say you won’t try something. you have to try. trying is always taking place. it’s just a matter of the effort you put behind your uncontrollable actions that are occurring strictly because you’re human. however, you, as a matter of fact… you’re better than just human. what is better than being human? being an alive human of course. and guess what. you’re an alive human. the best of the best, modestly speaking. go live. go find your way back home, but only stay for awhile. leave. say goodbye and be on your own. Try breathing again.