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Lately I’ve been completely intrigued by famous girls, particularly pornstars. I’m not here to judge, don’t get me wrong, it’s just I’m so interested and curious about the girls that really go to the next level in the porn industry, and their mindsets.
Sasha Grey is particularly famous for staring in ‘gang bang’ scenes and yet she remains so confident and in a way radiates during her photo-shoots and scenes. So many men want her, and so many women want to be her. She remains very different, at times it seems even better, than a hooker or prostitute yet does and gets paid for completing the same job.
The other night I was sitting around with three of my guy friends, and was shocked to hear them say they’d turn down the opportunity to have sex with a pornstar even if she was in their very apartment. After asking if they would have sex with her if she was extremely and exceptionally hot, I was even more shocked to hear them all say, once again, they would turn her down.
Now whether my guy friends were lying, were just telling me what they thought I wanted to hear (although I highly doubt considering all the crazy stories they openly tell me) or that they highly underestimate the power and sex appeal of a hottie pornstar, I can’t be quite sure, regardless I was surprised to find not all guys are obsessed with sex, and am sorry I made such an assumption for so long. The stereotype that all men are just horny dogs, is just as bad, on the opposite extreme, as the stereotype, women don’t masturbate and think about sex very rarely.
In the end… each to their own.

Retrouvailles (French): The happiness of meeting again after a long time

i’m lost in a some what dark cave and its really hard to get out of. i don’t really know which way i should go. i don’t even really want to wander any deeper into the darkness. so maybe i should just sit still for a moment. maybe my eyes will begin to adapt and i’ll sense the right direction. isn’t it odd when your searching for adventure and suddenly you begin to get scared. you brought all of this onto yourself.

I started to look into why I was eating so much. I finally found the answer. My body was searching for nutrients through large amounts of false foods. I started buying only organic vegetables and fruit from the store. Probably like 20 things from kale to kiwi and squash to bananas. Flax seed,strawberries nutritional yeast, spiralina, blueberries, pineapple, oranges, mangos, braccali (pretty much anything I watch rot if I bought it before.) I put them all in a blender with Ice and drank it for a week. I adjusted the incraments for nutrients and flavor. But for once I see through what is in a store. It is basic what we need. Mostly just the decernment to do what is best for our bodies and minds even in the face of mass propaganda of globalization and post industrialization.

i need to tell you about this place i stumbled upon just the other day. it came out of no where. it spooked up on me. it called my name and i responded. i followed, i was so curious, i couldn’t help myself, there was nothing to hold me back, i wanted it, i thought i liked it, wanted, needed it, is it silly i kind of thought the voice had something for me that was like nothing i had ever experienced. as if it had the power to take my life to the next level. i don’t need it’s help, that’s what i finally realized, after quite some time.
but forever before that i just followed the voice, i looked for a familiar face, and tried to convince myself i was comfortable, content, even happy. i can’t live a life like this.
but for so long even after realizing this i did not see the opportunity to escape. it may have been that i chose not to see these chance, or it may simply be i didn’t take up the opportunities out of fear that I might succeed.
yup, that’s right. i said it. no one ever admits it, but i’m not scared to. i know that everyone is a little scared to really be their best. is it really possible to be that good? how sweet that life would be, how fun that lifestyle seems, well i’m going for it.
reaching is easy, talking about it is even easier. endurance is what i need. a dose and a half, maybe two, drop it on me. i’ll never not show up.
i’m willing to learn, pay attention, take notes, work wonders over logic and reason, educated arguments, soaking in knowledge…. power.

say hello to the beginning of the rest of your life. whoever you are in love with, let go. say goodbye. better late than never, i’m calling it perfecting timing for you to try to be alone. stop checking your schedule. you’re not too busy to get to know what you really want to do for this world.

jump into the ocean, take a leap of faith, go and find yourself before someone else claims they have. only you really know you.