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caitlinmonster commented on the post, rocker 1 week, 2 days ago
The rocker pushed and pulled as I breathed thick summer air and sipped hot lemonade. This was Texas at its best, wrapped in a screen porch and sweating, happy to scramble under the southern sun like an egg in a pan. Homemade ice cream waited behind the freezer door. Our horses tore grass from the field. This is what we bargained for. We came out on the best side of the deal.
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caitlinmonster commented on the post, taboo 1 week, 4 days ago
She was a taboo like a scorch in the throat. A word you shouldn’t say. The taste of her sweat when she arches, like the songs your parents told you not to hear. She walked all lace and spiked heels and she loved you like you never wanted. Like you always needed. She was the taboo you were never supposed to crave.
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caitlinmonster posted a new activity comment 1 month ago
”she walks all bird of prey” blew my mind. so good.
In reply to - Nick Cortezi commented on the post, café the avenue’s backbone bends, spilling out into the courtyard. she walks all bird of prey, the sunlight glancing off starched white sleeves and khakis. • View -
caitlinmonster commented on the post, café 1 month ago
We sat sipping slow drinks with hot curls of steam rising from our mugs. There were things you wouldn’t say. There were words behind my mouth. We sat there as if we were conversing, as if the coffee could bring us closer. We sat there, staring at each other, waiting to muster the courage to be candid. We sat there as if we loved one another still. We sat there as if it meant something.
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caitlinmonster commented on the post, mumbling 1 month, 1 week ago
how do you walk
how do you move your feet
when the voices mumble
the ground beneath you gurgles
you have nowhere solid to stephow do you try
when the sludge sloshes at your ankles
and your head is ablaze with worry
and nothing sticks
and nothing fades -
caitlinmonster posted an update 1 month, 1 week ago
Something went sick with us. It was always wilting and curling brown, but the bottom fell out sooner than I had expected. I saw sparkling into tens and twenties of years in the future, and I had no idea how wrong I was. Love is something with spikes that you put down your throat. Time repeats. Time repeats itself. I have given myself over and I have given myself over and over again. I am done with being done. I am looking for something cleaner than you. I am breathing my own breath now, never yours.
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caitlinmonster changed their profile picture 1 month, 1 week ago
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caitlinmonster commented on the post, leverage 1 month, 1 week ago
I suppose you were always leverage. Something from which I could spring to the next level. A tool. I was always unfair, we were always unfair. You were always used up. I sucked you down and moved on. This was never what we wanted it to be. You were the next step on the staircase, and I climbed you with muddy shoes. I should have walked softer. I should have, I should have. I should have done many things.
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caitlinmonster commented on the post, baby 3 months, 3 weeks ago
I should stop writing drunk, baby. I should give you what you deserve. Come over here, baby, let me breathe you in and let me drink you. Baby, you are everything I’ve never asked for, and I want you, baby. You get me drunk, honey, sweetheart, and I want you. I should stop drinking you so hard and I should write sober. But you just fill me up, baby. You just get me drunk.
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caitlinmonster commented on the post, higher 5 months, 3 weeks ago
I wish I were
higher
on some celestial plane or
a platform somewhere between
clouds and bluesky, I wish I were
higherI wish I could reach
tree tops, skyscrapers
I wish I could float beyond
this mire and roil
I wish I could screamlouder, I wish I were
higher -
caitlinmonster commented on the post, both 5 months, 3 weeks ago
both toxic and radioactive you are
cleansing in your destruction
break me down
at the molecular level, rebuild
me into something chrome
solid and white hot
something cruel
and beautiful -
caitlinmonster commented on the post, under 5 months, 4 weeks ago
you will be under
neath and you will not
breathe
air again for minutesand minutes trail months into
years and you will
think you see a crack
of light but you will notunder water and burlap
under mud and ice and
shovels under
neath and you will not
breathe -
caitlinmonster posted an update 6 months ago
The soars and groans of melodies written between us make a bridge and we cross it. We are two pilgrim parts and we make something whole only when we stand side by side. Your hair makes mine longer. My eyes make yours bluer. We are complimentary angles and the harmony and the melody and you are the one who holds me up now. You are the only one who holds me up now. You are all I want holding me up now.
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caitlinmonster commented on the post, library 6 months ago
It was a library. It was a room full of books, it was a tribute to the glint in his eyes and the flesh of his stomach. The almost-brown of his hair. The sea green of his eyes and the gray of his fingertips. It was a volume of books in alphabetical order and they all wrote his smile in my mouth. They all wrote his name.
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caitlinmonster commented on the post, framework 11 months, 1 week ago
she was the framework
of me
lacing wooden beams between
my ribs and around
my collar
boneshe held me up, she
held me
upand all inside of me
she left her splinters
singing
her name in my
arches […] -
caitlinmonster posted an update 11 months, 1 week ago
Love is a spiked drink. I mean something with spikes that you put down your throat. And your breath is taking mine away. Not in the way that the singers sing it, “You take my breath away.” No. I mean that when you breathe, you pull the life force from inside my lungs, out of my mouth and into your nostrils. You steal something from me. Something without which I cannot survive, and you use it to fill up your ribcage. It is an exquisite way to die.
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caitlinmonster posted an update 11 months, 1 week ago
And the space between my legs is growing bigger. And the space from yours to mine is growing smaller. All we are is acceleration. Two particles hurtling through space toward each other. Nothing but trajectory. Nothing but inevitability. Nothing but nothing is stopping us.
I spent the whole night watching your face and counting backwards from three. Three… (I will kiss you once I reach) Two… (This time I will really will do it at) One… (Okay let me start over with) Three… and the carousel spun and I could not step off. There is something sickly about our mingling breath, our paralysis. The still that we stand. Something ugly and seductive. Something that I hate that I love. Something from which I cannot emerge. The palpable sweetness of not touching you, of having without having you. I am choking on it and smiling.
If I die today, I will never have known the taste of your lips.
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caitlinmonster commented on the post, mayor 11 months, 1 week ago
The mayor stroked his double-breasted suit, an air of pomp and pure egotism clouding around his puffed chest. Today was his day. Today he had won. And nothing on God’s green earth could take away the buoyancy that […]
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caitlinmonster commented on the post, cathedral 11 months, 2 weeks ago
her stained glass eyes are breaking
me, cutting into mine and
lacerating
what hopes I had
of any kind of future
without hershe is my cathedral
I go to her
to pray
and I will be buried
in her shade
one day -
caitlinmonster posted an update 11 months, 2 weeks ago
You are too beautiful and if I do not ever get to call you my girlfriend — If I do not ever get to hold you and know that you do not want anyone else holding you — if I do not ever get to know that I am not sharing you — if I do not ever get to be selfish with you — if I do not ever get to have you, to eat you all up, to steal you away and keep you and destroy you with something beautiful — I do not know what I will do. I do not know what I will. I do not know. I do not. I do. Please. Please. Please. You are surely with him now as you sleep and I am too big for my body. I cannot listen to the songs we listened to. I cannot listen to you breathing in the rise and fall of their melodies. I cannot hold this space for us much longer, this liminal nothing-space with nothing but our fears inside of it. I will have to jump soon. I will have to love you soon. I will have to. I will.
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caitlinmonster @caitlinmonster ?
active 1 week, 2 days ago
Something went sick with us. It was always wilting and curling brown, but the bottom fell out sooner than I had expected. I saw sparkling into tens and twenties of years in the future, and I had no idea how wrong I was. Love is something with spikes that you put down your throat. Time repeats. Time repeats itself. I have given myself over and I have given myself over and over again. I am done with being done. I am looking for something cleaner than you. I am breathing my own breath now, never yours. View
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