like a a hook has been forced through my chest, ripping a giant whole right in the middle of me.
only you can fill the void.
yet you cant be here.
so i sit,
stepping out the doorway, he followed her footsteps with his eyes; to the lake. the snow crunched under his feet and the crisp air bit at his nose. so many reasons to step back inside, to continue on with his life, so warm, peaceful, serine. it wasn’t his problem anymore anyways; he wasn’t the one [...]
…not always beauty.. in fact, i find you quite stunning. in the way you take my breath away, without even knowing your doing so. i can just look at you, and fall; crippled. like my heart just caved into a black hole, and there’s nothing there but empty space. not because of your looks, or [...]
haha.. the many days during summer, when i’d wake up at 1 pm, i’d sit with my brother in the family room, and we’d play two separate games of solitaire. side by side, but playing separate. competing to see who could actually solve the puzzle. that is, i’d play when i wasn’t texting you.. … [...]
two hearts living separate lives, completely unaware. by a stroke of luck, one is pushed into the other; and the two bind. a shock, the two are stunned; cannot believe that this could happen to them. once this connection is made, it cannot be undone. they will forever be changed, like it or not. two [...]
but when you experience love,
will never be the same.
left in the dirt
to do what?
i’m sure you don’t care
as long as you don’t get hurt, right?
you’d toss me aside with no second thought just to save your
frozen on my heart. shows how cold i have become. but..it drips? i thought i was so cold? i am still so numb.. but i feel the mass of ice…shrink? how could this be? i… thank you. thank you for freeing me. only the warmth from your heart could melt mine. i will forever be [...]
start something new.
be it a “..hi”
or something as ‘insignificant’ as eye contact.
some say a butterflies flap cant make a difference,
but, if it changes the course the present is currently on,
i say its the beginning of something new.
like copies i guess.
the same design over, and over and over again.
different colors mean different emotions
but that’s boring.
i’d rather paint something new.
first i laid down reds, golds and rusts. the colors mixed so beautifully. they swirled and layered like they were always meant to be. then i daringly dabbed my brush in the blue. i dragged it across the middle of the canvas, and to my amazement, it worked! the blue, a cool color that is [...]
-just had one the other day: i made it up. it was always in my head. how could i possibly have thought we were so much from so ‘few’ conversations… i don’t know. i led my heart on, that’s all it was. that’s why you were able to just leave me so easily. so never [...]
a skill, ability
showing a mastery of a subject.
for some reason this word reminds me of the combination of “art” and “history”. a combination of my muse and what i consider to be the devils subject. however both are created from the viewers perspective. alike and different in so many ways…
i immediately think of that old story, of a wolf in sheep’s clothing. but somehow i always forget about the dog who protects the sheep. he sees though the wolfs disguise and protects the defenselessly blind sheep. he commits his life to this act, yet the sheep hardly recognizes him. so i wonder (if i [...]
“right now, the first thing you think of.”
“is that a question, haha. how so?”
“well i mean, no.. i guess it just has a depressing effect on me. the tree: how it spreads out into nothingness. nowhere to go. and thats not even mentioning the heart..whos, hanging itself?”
“ya.. i am.”
i related to you..
i thought i understood what you were going through..
we shared dreams, music tastes,
even our favorite place to travel was the same…
it was spooky how similar we were,
but i guess it wasn’t enough.
What you created within myself. An endless struggle between me head and my heart. My pride and my soul.
One wishes to only be with you, while the other struggles to even stand the sight of you.
you wanted my compassion,
but denied my affections.
but its ok, i only put my entire life in your hands…
the water isn’t good enough without the bitter taste of reality. the ocean of my life would not be so satisfying without the turmoil, the edge, the rages and the passions i so often indulge. so i let it run its course, hit the world, replenish it, give nourishment for everyone else. saltwater.
9804 NW ocean avenue….
I would go there with you every day this past summer.
I could probably drive there blind by now.
but if i were to go back today,
it would only remind me of what i lost,
what kept me same,
what i miss so much:
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