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china commented on the post, plague 1 month, 2 weeks ago
I looked away as tears slowly fell down her cheeks. I hated these moments.
In these moments, the bitter details of life are all apparent in her eyes as she tries to pretend she’s not broken. I hated these moments. -
china commented on the post, calamity 1 month, 3 weeks ago
Fuck.
You weren’t supposed to see me like this. Hold on, let me get cleaned up.
See? All better now, right?
Hey, don’t look at me like that. Y-you know I didn’t want this, I didn’t mean it.
Please, don’t go.
Please,
come back.
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china commented on the post, beware 1 month, 4 weeks ago
Do not run from me. I am not him. I can be tender. I can control these hands, itching for adventure. I am not him.
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china commented on the post, upright 1 year ago
I try to be an upright citizen. I pay taxes, pick up after my dog, I even give someone else the parking space that I’m significantly closer to.
So why do I feel so empty?
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china commented on the post, slight 1 year, 1 month ago
With a slight of his hand, he ended her life so quickly. So easily.
If only I should be so lucky to have the same fate.
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china commented on the post, flip 1 year, 1 month ago
Flip-flop, back and forth, just like you do. You sit there, wearing a smile on your face. Paint yourself as the innocent one.
We see who you are. You’re a scumbag. A dirty little fuck who thrives on the pain of […]
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china posted an update in the group
dear you…love me 1 year, 1 month agoDear you,
I can tell that you wonder about me. Not enough to ask me, or to care beyond a reserved pondering, but I know you’ve spent time on it. You look into me, wondering what I think. Wondering if I’m still who you used to know.
I was never who you used to know. This girl, the girl who hides from people, hides from her emotions, is the girl I’ve always been. The girl who needs a friend but doesn’t want one, who wants a friend but doesn’t need one. The girl who gets hurt. The girl who hurts herself. The girl who locks herself in her room.
I miss you. There? Happy? I’ve admitted it. I miss being your friend, I miss being comfortable.
But, I wasn’t. It was all an illusion. I clung to you like oil, but I didn’t know you were water. I spent my time convincing myself that you were as reliant on me as I was on you, but that simply was not true. It couldn’t be true. I’m not that important.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I shocked you with my rage. I’m sorry I’m not as human as most people wish. Or as robotic as others wish. I’m sorry that I don’t know how to be best for anyone, particularly you.
I’m sorry that my leaving didn’t hurt you. You’re kind enough that I think you wanted it to. But I wasn’t essential. You didn’t cry. I cried.This is a shitty letter.
- me.
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china commented on the post, residue 1 year, 1 month ago
There was some oily residue on the bottom of the table. She pulled her hand back in disgust. “Ew, what is that?”
“I don’t know.” He never knew anything. He knew his cards, he knew his drinks, but he didn’t know […] -
china wrote about the word convinced 1 year, 7 months ago
I’m convinced he doesn’t love her. He just wants her because for a moment he feels the power. He has her around her finger and all she ever wanted was to be loved. We watch from a distance, hoping we don’t judge too harshly, although we can’t see anything right with that relationship. I want [...]
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china posted a new activity comment: 1 year, 7 months ago
oh lol, i only ever saw ’kyra’ i didn’t see your other name.
speaking of things i don’t notice, i just my mistake in my initial comment. oops.
anyways, BELIEBERS FTW!
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china posted an update: 1 year, 8 months ago
”You’re stealing me.
You’re stealing my essence.
Everything that makes me who I am is everything you attack and destroy.
I want to destroy you. I want to kill you, end you, keep you from torturing me.But you and I are indistinguishable. Where you stop and I begin, even I am unsure. You’re eating away at my soul and I’m powerless.
Die, die, die, die, die. ”
I put down the mirror.
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china posted a new activity comment: 1 year, 8 months ago
I’m really interesting to know who you’re referring to :)
In reply to - Kyra posted an update in the group dear you…love me: Dear You, You don’t know me, but I know you quite well. You’re the person who stops my tears, makes me smile, yet confuses me. My life is surrounded by you, yet you don’t know of my existence. Does that seem right? You’re my everything. Keep smiling, sing to me, and keep inspiring me. Do you know how bad it hurts to not know that I’ll never meet you? Your voice speaks to me, every lyric that you utter. You keep me sane. Love, Me. • View -
china posted an update in the group
dear you…love me: 1 year, 8 months agoDear you,
I’m sorry. I know I complain so much about being alone when it was my choice to be. But I’m scared. I can’t get comfortable hanging out in your room, or telling you my problems. Because when you leave me, you’ll leave unscathed and I’ll be down here wondering what happened to all my friends. You’ll go on with your life and I’ll be forced to come crawling back to the cruel and unwavering control of my steel lover. Scared is safe for me. Scared keeps from hurting. Scared keeps me alive.
Love, Me
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china wrote about the word couch 1 year, 8 months ago
I used to sit on her lap all the time. She’d sing me songs, and give me candy, and tell me I was the sweetest kid. We’d play together, and I couldn’t picture a time when I wouldn’t be happy in my mother’s arms. That is, until she got sick.
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china wrote about the word average 1 year, 8 months ago
Average. That’s all I am. Nothing to be remembered, held deeply. No one even has the energy to hate me. Because I’m average. Being average means people can pick you up or drop you off at will, and it doesn’t matter. Being average means you don’t have real emotions, you’re just neutral. No one thinks [...]
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china wrote about the word account 1 year, 8 months ago
I account for any of this. How did this happen? I can’t find a reason to smile, to stay safe, to live. I’ll weakly fake a smile and barely cover my scars and stand on the ledge hoping I’ll accidentally slip. I want to want to be different. I know I’m disappointing people. I wish [...]
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china posted an update: 1 year, 8 months ago
It’s funny how things can take over your life. Love, hate, longing, anticipation, fear. It changes how you do everything. Someone telling you you’re thin makes you think of how fat you are. Someone mentioning how big a city is only makes you think of danger. Beautiful moments are ignored because you’re waiting for a moment that’s supposed to be better than anything. You cry and you cut and you bleed and you run and you hide and you pray, and nothing works. You’re addicted to the rollercoaster. You want to get off but you’re strapped in until the bitter end. You don’t even know if it’s worth it to survive anymore, anything to get away from this sickening ride you inadvertently boarded.
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china wrote about the word hover 1 year, 8 months ago
Hover, hover, hover! That’s all I ever do! Maybe if I weren’t so good at hovering, I’d be good at keeping you. If I loved smart, and not so hard Maybe you’d be here and not so far And I wouldn’t be drunk on the floor of this bar And maybe I’d care ’bout drunk-driving [...]
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china wrote about the word distinguished 1 year, 8 months ago
She had strong features, defined, distinguished. She was a butterfly, floating from task to task, beautifully, and everywhere she went a bit of her pure joy rubbed off on those that surrounded her. I miss those days. Now she drags her feet, under the solid arm of the man she thought would be her Prince [...]
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china posted a new activity comment: 1 year, 8 months ago
if it helps that’s not how i read it. i was looking at it from a more sci-fi angle, like he was a scientist or he had some sort of power.
In reply to - MoeMasterMighty wrote about the word existence It was the first time he had brought a being into existence, and now it looked like it would be the last. He pounded on the door furiously, willing them to let her out. But he knew it was hopeless. Soon Major was there, with a hand on his shoulder. • View - Load More