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Diarmuid wrote about the word horses 1 year, 5 months ago
Man 1:”Are you looking to place a few bets on the horses?”
Man 2:”Yes, is this the best place to come?”
Man1: “No this is a greyhound racing track.”
Man 2: “Ah crap.” -
Diarmuid wrote about the word repeat 1 year, 9 months ago
Jim: “repeat after me: I am not going to burst. I am not going to bust.” Steve: “I am not going to burst. I am not going to bust. I am not going to burst. I am not going to bust. I am not going to burst. I am not going to bust.” Jim: ” [...]
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Diarmuid wrote about the word elastic 1 year, 9 months ago
The chair I sit on is made of elastic
“The work you are doing today is fantastic”
My boss’s tone is sarcastic
One of my co-workers’ breasts are plastic
Get me out of this office before I turn spastic. -
Diarmuid wrote about the word elastic 1 year, 9 months ago
This elastic band to my right is giving me dirty looks. It keeps whispering to his friend, the stapler. They are conspiring against me, I know it. I need to inform somebody of their plot to end my life. Help. Somebody. HELP!!! Hel….
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Diarmuid wrote about the word boiling 1 year, 9 months ago
The heat in London today is crazy. It’s a dead heat. The cool water in my glass is boiling within mere minutes. I should really turn out the heating and put out the fire. This homemade sauna idea was a bit daft on further review
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Diarmuid wrote about the word trophy 1 year, 10 months ago
Smithford Copperstones was on the look out for another trophy wife after selling his last wife to the “naturals” upstream. In the end he settled for a fairly hefty looking cow. Big fan of his milk is Smithford Copperstones.
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Diarmuid wrote about the word etiquette 1 year, 10 months ago
“It’s not polite to do that Jim!”
” Do What?”
“Speak with your mouth full, where’s your etiquette?”
“Etiquette me hole” -
Diarmuid wrote about the word remember 1 year, 11 months ago
“Remember Yesterday when I said we were nearly out of Cornflakes?”
“Yeah.”
“Well now we’re out of Cornflakes.”
“Damn.” -
Diarmuid wrote about the word sideburns 1 year, 11 months ago
Eugene came out of the bar with shotgun in hand. “What’s all this I hear about a gun fight?” He rubbed his rubbed the whiskey from his sideburns and loaded his gun…
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Diarmuid wrote about the word mint 1 year, 11 months ago
I saw the mint leaves scattered all over the ground. The pig had escaped and ruined the front hall, the place was an utter mess. I’m definitely slaughtering it tonight and having pork stir fry for dinner.
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