He stepped onto the ship.
“See you soon.”
But I never did.
I know I am too late as I walk in the door, much too late to go unnoticed, so I abort the idea of sneaking in quietly. Nicholas waits for me on the love seat, staring ahead.
“Where have you been?”
“I told you to be back by nine.”
“It’s saturday. The traffic was bad.” Why am I still in this? Fear begins to form in a hard knot in the pit of my stomach.
“Who were you with?”
I take a deep breath and stare at the wall. I feel like I am explaining myself to an overprotective father. A father who drinks a little too freely.
I can smell the alcohol on Nick’s breath from three feet away.
“I was with Noah.”
“You’d rather spend time with him than me.”
“No, of course not.” I hear myself say words that have never been more untrue.
Nick sighs a practiced, well worn sigh. Terror shoots through me. Please let me off easy.
“Then, you’d better come over here and prove it to me.”
Fear turns to disgust, and I find I would take the beating over this. This is hell; this fake, ugly affection. I throw my jacket on the floor and saunter towards him. I pray he will not smell Noah on my skin.
The ocean lets forth a mighty roar as I step into it.
I find I am afraid.
The lights are flashing, and the music is vulgar and so, so loud. And all around you are people, smashed together, sweating together, crowding in a huge pit of delirum. And dancing, dancing in the worst sense of […]
I am trying to stay soft.
And have togetherness.
But friendships are tapestries
and threads unravel.
At least they are for me.
And my thoughts are becoming more crude.
And my outlook is so wide at the edges […]
It occurs to me all at once that what I am about to say will be binding.
Each new passing second is a gasping breath.
Two words. Just say them, just say them.
No way out. Trapped. Lace clouds my vision, chokes […]
Afterwards, the silence is deafening. The stillness hurts me.
He kisses my forehead and rolls over to the other side of the bed.
I am cold. I can feel the imprint of his lips still lingering on my skin.
Snow is […]
Mme. Cordilia sits stifly in her chair. Her fingers drum out a steady pattern on the desk in front of her, and her eyes are trained on the elaborate tapestry that hangs opposite her. Upon entering the room, one […]
I am the half-girl
The one who is loving, kind, good, free;
the one who is cynical, too quick to speak, proud, envious.
The one who seems like she doesn’t care what peaople think and
the one who really […]
He peers through his camera lense until he spots something worth capturing.
A woman in the park, wearing a dress and tights and a coat and a winter hat.
Carrying a starbucks cup and a book.
He can see her […]
That was the year we remodeled the kitchen cabinets,
because the old ones were too old; the paint was chipping a little and they creaked just barely when you opened them. And my mother said,
“It’s time for a […]
“But imagine my position, one so cruelly unique.” He laughs a bitter, coughing chuckle. “Imagine, hypothetically, a man being carted in on a stretcher, in critical condition. Blood seeping out on the sheets. He’s […]
The professor walked a few paces ahead of us.
“And this,” he says as we pass a young man seated behind a desk, “Is my assistant and most trusted adviser.”
The desk is placed in the unlikely area of the middle […]
And in his tiny kitchen with the blue wallpaper, a day’s worth of dishes piled up in his sink, I came to the sinking realization that I knew almost nothing about this man I had run off with. I knew his favorite […]
Books. Books and literature, I have learned, are often the distributors of the most ingenious thoughts.
Oh, you already know what will happen.
You’ll go there tonight, and you’ll stay later than you plan.
He’ll be staring at you across the room all night, trying to work up the courage to come over and speak to […]
Under the strobe lights (I used to love coming alive underneath them),
That is where i saw her, at one in the morning,
grinding up against some other guy.
Doubtless she was drunk,
off of beers he had bought […]
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