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“this is a real stretcher” she said, pointing to the EMC’s using it to bring her grandmother to the ambulance. They didn’t know that Lucy had a problem with lucid dreaming and didn’t know what was real or not.

I suppose something of a nap would have been useful instead of taking two 30 mg of Ritalin in an attempt to stay alert during my Philosophy class. My professor was reminiscent of Ben Stein. In other words, I had Ferris Bueller’s Economics teacher. I suppose he switched classes.

Port’s good, rum’s better. And on those really chilly nights, I like scotch with my fire. Alcoholic beverages make some of the best lighter fluid I’ve ever used in my pyromania.

Taking into account all that has happened, a margarita at the end of the day isn’t such a bad thing. Accounting for the margaritas is completely different. It would take a sober accountant to add up the numbers.

I traded away my childhood, one pokemon card at a time, in exchange for a boyfriend, my own apartment, and the experience of growing up. Then I wrote a play about it and I traded my personal experience and soulful work for public opinion and money. Then I traded obscurity for fame and fortune. And [...]

Something clipped me in the back of my ear. It was one of two things: my body piercing artist or God telling me not to get my cartilage pierced. Can a hoop really ruin a reputation?

I laugh every time I walk through the insect hall at the museum of natural history. I feel like I’ve conquered a world, even though I had nothing to do with the capturing of said creepy crawlies.

There once was a time in my life when I didn’t have friends. Around this time was a really short period in my life where I actually thought math was fun. Specifically long division by hand. So, instead of playing with friends, like any normal person would, I made up long division problems and then [...]