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I waited patiently after asking you to sing me a lullaby. The pause my body revealed shocked me, shooting electricity through every nerve and fiber inside of me. The natural instinct of my ancestors and I casually lifted and dropped my chest, inhaling and exhaling the oxygen around me only to release it completely. I was left with an empty feeling of guilt. I was no one and I belonged to no one. To produce a tear all I had to do was remember that no one belonged to me, either. The longer I waited for that lullaby the deeper that lagoon grew inside of me. The non existent notes and rhymes from a lullaby haunted me as I regained consciousnesses. It seemed like I had been gone lifetimes but nothing around me had changed. Only the new hole that had now appeared inside of me, I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling.

I would rather not consider it a procedure in which I am expected to do the right thing. Knowing what is right in your heart is not a procedure but a duty that you must perform in order to settle your heart of its torment. Sometimes you cause the heart more grief and other times the grief simply fades. I don’t know which of these cycles my heart will go through but I know that I did the right thing. Sometimes you put off certain things and you have excuses for even the most minute detail. But when you shake and you quiver because your body is reacting, then don’t ignore it. Instinct is the key to survival. Whether that survival is obtained in one way or the other, I must protect my family.

Sweat accumulates above my upper lip. I can’t find the strength to wipe it off. What’s the point anyway, I’m just a fleshy human excreting waste & trying to find her next fix. The sun’s rays have targeted me as […]

In reality only half of me is here. Maybe even less. Most of the time I don’t know how I’m suppose to feel or react to most of my surroundings. Everything is passing me by and in two blinks of the human eye, I’m […]

I’m afraid of risk. When given the option to choose truth or dare, I choose truth because I’m afraid. I know that if it comes to it, I can lie, but in a dare you either do it or you’re a ‘pussy’. I don’t want life […]

Religion. What a complicated thing. According to almost everyone, their belief is correct. I don’t understand why things have to be made so complicated. I’ll be honest, at this point in my life, I don’t know where […]

I’m going to allow this brief moment in time to change my entire existence. I speak of change and the wonderful healing that time exerts, but I’m not entirely sure how I feel about it. This moment will only creep […]

The baby bird becomes the bird that must fly out of the nest. You can’t remember how or when it happened, but the time has come where you must jump out and take a leap of faith. The days going by, each one […]

She wondered what the sandwich would taste like if she didn’t spread the jelly on to the second piece of bread. Peanut-butter and Jelly it had always been that way, but for a moment she wanted something else, […]