I wonder if you ever realize. I wonder if you’ll ever truly know. Though I doubt I will ever get up the nerve to even get close to saying the words out loud, they will always be there in the back of my head.
It makes me wonder, what is in the back of yours? Do you know how much you have changed me? Do you know what a significant impact you had? Or am I just one of the growing masses and pretty soon you won’t even remember at all.
When she first told me you had changed I didn’t want to listen. I wanted to chalk it up to her being crazy and immature, and not understanding that you needed your space.
But as every day passes, a little more of my starts to believe she was right.
It breaks my heart, every single day. But deep down, I am pretty sure that your happy. I want that to be all that matters, but more than that I want you to care about my happiness too.
I want you to acknowledge something to let me know I am not crazy. But I am too scared that instead all you will do is validate those fears.
That’s why this is anonymous and will never find its way to you. Because I am too scared, just like you told me not to be.
I wish I could just spend one more day with the boy who wanted to win for my birthday. The boy who wrote me an history paper intro, without even having to be asked. I want the boy who was so excited about me, it made me smile for days. But I am pretty sure your not my boy to have anymore.
too bad the only one its meant for, is never going to read it.
As the seconds ticked by I couldn’t help but beat myself up inside. Here it was, the perfect opportunity wasted. How many times had I imagined this moment going so perfectly and there it was, slipping away.