POW POW POW. She’s dead
i’m sitting here
with a rocket
because that’s what I do.
I screw things up.
But it’s ok.
But when I check,
My smile dies with her.
Because she is dead.
and it is my fault.
Three books later and not a single one was read. All published, nothing read. He was broke. He was unhappy. Now, he knew he had no one to blame but himeself.
I threw it out. Done. Forever. She broke my heart and I was darn well ready for her to forever leave my life. I threw out her things. Never going to see her or them again. I was done.
A soft knock could be heard on my door. I opened it. There she was.
It poured, a freezing sleet that no one could have predicted. She watched out her window, letting a tear slide down her cheek before turning away. Winter never held the success summer did.
I could feel him standing behind me. It was a comfortable protective feel. I knew I’d be safe if only he’d be mine, but when I turned around, he was gone. I found that I was alone.
Drip. Drip. Drip. Three spots seeped into my paper. Nothing came to mind, nor did anything make it on the paper. Inspiration left me, and all I had for myself was three little blotches on my story.
A tear slid down his cheek, but no one would have believed it. After years of working on getting this business running, his mother refused to give him her support, and that crushed him.
Sweat slid down my arm, only attracting more insects to my the blood I guessed tasted sweet to them. I didn’t pay attention, though, because I knew I had found it. I had discovered what I had been searching for.
It was harsh. It wasn’t a lie. It wasn’t the truth. It was grotesque, pushing its shameful ways on all who heard it. Still, I followed it and treated it as a god.
It was a failure. Another one. An electric current running through a thin wire? It would never be the same as a candle. Another try, another failure. How many before something works? A sigh. giving up for now. Resuming later. A bulb of light. Impossible to make, but with each failure, success is arriving.
It changed my reality. One sentence. This took “I never thought of it that way” to a whole new meaning. My life would never be the same again.
It’s my alter ego. At least, that’s what I’m telling everyone on this website. I only pretend to be depressed. Just to know what it’s like. I’m such a cheery person, and everyone loves me. Well, everyone real loves me. The people online have the misfortune of knowing my alter ego, the real me.