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Is determined by the level of metachlorians in the body. Anakin Skywalker had a level above average in a human, but he turned to the dark side, which was a shame.

Posted By damo On 08.25.2011 @ 11:16 am

I’ve heard that silk is a tremendous material if you want to be an assassin. I don’t particularly find this line of work appealing but it would be nice to be able to move around silently in your silk apparel.

Posted By damo On 08.24.2011 @ 4:50 am

Jumping from sink to sink in a bathroom show. As dangerous as caving, but without the safety equipment.

Posted By Damo On 08.23.2011 @ 9:52 am

The whole is not without that which is incomplete. One can never see the end from the beginning nor know where the line is until it is crossed. We are unfinished. May we always remain so. For perfection is entropy and entropy is…undesirable

Posted By Damo On 03.21.2011 @ 5:33 am

The shape of things to come will probably not be any shape we recognise today. More than likely it won’t be a quadrilateral, an isosceles, a rhomboid, a trapezoid or any other kind of zoid. The shape of things to come will more than likely transcend the axis of x and y and more than likely even z, in fact it will probably even exist beyond space and time

Posted By Damo On 03.20.2011 @ 3:16 am

The microwave rested comfortably on top of the dirigible, which was in turn attached to the corrugated bed of the utility and held in place with some haphazard but still devoted riveting. As far as time machines go it had no science or thought or any sort of realistic expectation behind it but if sheer hope and tenacity could pierce the veil of space and time then this baby was set to rock and roll

Posted By Damo On 10.23.2010 @ 6:40 am

The moon sits there, proud of itself. It controls the tides and the werewolves and the crazies. It dictates the course of the night and rules the witching hour. But there is one thing it cannot do. Love

Posted By Damo On 08.27.2010 @ 8:09 pm

“How would you describe it?” “Bleak” “You describe everything as bleak though. There’s a lot of bleakness in your descriptions. To you the only thing that isn’t bleak is your descriptions of things that are bleak. There’s a lot of colour and vivid imagery in your descriptions of the bleak” “I’m a paradox”

Posted By Damo On 08.26.2010 @ 5:44 am

I’m easily distracted. Why just the other day I wa

Posted By Damo On 09.21.2009 @ 5:30 am

I was standing back, appraising my work when the doorbell rang. I hastily put down the paintbrush and went to the door, leaving the security chain latched. I opened it a crack. No, I don’t want to know about Jesus. I know all about Jesus. He’s the one that told me to be an artist. I closed the door and went back to my work. I dipped the paintbrush in the still warm blood of the corpse and began composing.

Posted By Damo On 09.18.2009 @ 1:44 am

Logical isn’t really in the lexicon here. When you’re dealing with creatures from the abyss logical is a luxury you can’t afford. They don’t act logically and you can’t afford to either. When a creature from the beyond chews off the face of your best friend, then you’ll know what to do.

Posted By Damo On 09.12.2009 @ 5:56 am

I watched the fire blossom within the bowels of the building and let a small satisfied smirk cross my lips. This would prove a point, if nothing else. Prove that the customer is always right. This would prove that banana flavouring is NOT banana and should not be put in a banana smoothie. I put the remote detonator in my pocket and walked away, whistling a jaunty tune.

Posted By Damo On 09.11.2009 @ 1:24 am

I was crossing over, you know, to the other side one day. I’d died for the eighth time and decided that I’d had enough. But I got called back. It seems the Reaper had grown fond of our bi-monthly game of Ludo. I acquiesced, took my seat and rolled the dice…

Posted By Damo On 06.30.2009 @ 4:16 am

‘It’s fake’ ‘No it’s not’ ‘It’s fake, see here, I can tell it’s fake.’ ‘No you can’t, it’s a genuine horse’ ‘There’s no such thing as a horse, that’s how I can tell it’s a fake, you’ve just taken a unicorn and sanded the horn down, horse, hah! What a laugh.’

Posted By Damo On 06.23.2009 @ 3:20 am

‘Where’s the rest?’ asked the giant space bear. ‘I demand to see the rest!’ He said in his giant space Russian accent ‘You get the rest after the job is complete’ replied the being made of canned corn. ‘Very well, I will be the birthday clown’ replied the bear.

Posted By Damo On 06.20.2009 @ 2:24 am

I’m suffocating here. I have a cold. I don’t want to over-dramatise it but I’m pretty sure it’s the worst cold ever experienced by a human being. I feel as though I’m adrift in a sea of my own nasal discharge. I’m sneezing constantly and my eyes burn. No man woman or child has ever suffered as much as I am now. And no, it isn’t swine flu

Posted By Damo On 06.18.2009 @ 4:33 am

My stereo is haunted by the spirit of a three thousand year old Assyrian emperor. Luckily we share the same taste in music, so it all works out in the end. It’d suck if he was into country though.

Posted By Damo On 09.04.2009 @ 6:19 am

The constant barrage of ideas assaults my mind, fills it to the brim, to bursting point. I need to find an outlet lest I explode from the sheer force of creativity. A pen, paint, a keyboard, scrawled into the walls themselves with nothing more than my nails and the sheer force of will to be remembered.

Posted By Damo On 09.01.2009 @ 5:14 am

So it turns out that it isn’t a good idea to piss off the Fates. Yeah, who would have figured right? I mean, I thought it would be hilarious to replace the tapestry of creation with the bubble wrap of cosmic irony, but apparently no one else was of my opinion. At least no one’s life was cut short any more. We all just went out with a pop.

Posted By Damo On 08.31.2009 @ 5:17 am

I wonder if the pit is truly bottomless. I mean, it seems pretty bottomless but I’ve been wrong before. I was wrong about hair metal coming back, I was wrong about Prince Charles and Lady Di and I was certainly wrong about diving into the pit being a good idea, but maybe I was right about this.

Posted By Damo On 08.30.2009 @ 4:00 am

There was never a cage built that could contain him. Not that he was particularly big, or particularly strong or possessed of some kind of telekinetic power that could rip the bars asunder. It was simply that he could turn into water whenever he needed to. No cage built could hold him, no. But a cup could.

Posted By Damo On 08.28.2009 @ 2:28 am

To fully appreciate the species one must view it in its natural habitat. Thriving on the fast pace of life and the stresses involved and needing constant contact with others of its species, indeed this creature cannot exist in any other place or time. It is an animal purely of its own small microcosm. Which is what makes the yuppie such a fascinating species to study.

Posted By Damo On 08.25.2009 @ 2:09 am

“no but hum a few bars and I’ll play it for you…” That was the problem with this no good hick town, no culture. Damn backward hillbillies had never even heard of Coltrane let alone knew one of his songs. Sometimes, a lot of the times, I view my job as a public service. This was just such a time. I cocked the hammer back, chambered a round and prepared to go to work.

Posted By Damo On 08.24.2009 @ 5:19 am

The pie, I believe, is optional. They said to bring a dessert but they didn’t say what. A pie is traditional, I guess, but not essential. I don’t see why it couldn’t be something else. A flan perhaps, or a lamington. I think I’ll go with a pavlova

Posted By Damo On 08.18.2009 @ 8:03 pm

Gong the Eviscerator looked upon the destruction he had inflicted on this land. Everywhere he looked was ragged landscape and jagged edges. People, or what might have been people, jutted out at painful angles. Yes, his watercolour was all wrong. One day, he resolved, he would learn to paint landscapes.

Posted By Damo On 08.17.2009 @ 10:48 pm

My favourite pastime is mailing things. Nothing in particular, just whatever turns up on my lawn that morning. I once posted a cat. I’m not sure if was alive or not when it arrived at its destination. I think that’s a question best answered by physicists

Posted By Damo On 08.14.2009 @ 6:19 am

I hate geese. They are a demon bird, spawned from the depths of Hades itself to wreak havoc on the mortal world. They bring havoc and chaos wherever they go, their wings are downed with the tears of a thousand children and their beaks are the hardened hatred of a hundred psychopaths. They also stole my hot dog one day at the park.

Posted By Damo On 08.08.2009 @ 8:34 pm

“It’s a little humid in here, isn’t it?” inquired Tibbins. During our trip I had gifted Tibbins with a title, Lord of the Understatement. He has surely earned it. “We are in a leaking submarine, up to our necks in water, yes, I would say it’s a little humid” I reply as I reach over and go to push Tibbins head under. I may be going to hell, but I’m making sure he gets there first.

Posted By Damo On 08.04.2009 @ 3:41 am

Planetary domination is often viewed as a suckers game. Who would want to dominate a planet when they could dominate the whole universe, one often asks. Well, have you developed the technology to travel the stars? Have you? Didn’t think so. Commence Operation Arcturus

Posted By Damo On 08.03.2009 @ 2:35 am

Respond was the cousin to the brothers Alert and Alarm. He would often come over to their thatch roofed hut to play games. These games would often involve the creative use of sticks. One day Alert ran off and left Alarm and Respond on their own. “Alert” cried Alarm “Respond” cried Respond

Posted By Damo On 08.02.2009 @ 5:44 am