Entries By Diarmuid
Displaying 1 To 11 Of 11 Entries
horses
Man 1:”Are you looking to place a few bets on the horses?” Man 2:”Yes, is this the best place to come?” Man1: “No this is a greyhound racing track.” Man 2: “Ah crap.”
Posted By Diarmuid On 11.25.2011 @ 8:20 am
repeat
Jim: “repeat after me: I am not going to burst. I am not going to bust.”
Steve: “I am not going to burst. I am not going to bust. I am not going to burst. I am not going to bust. I am not going to burst. I am not going to bust.”
Jim: ” Now, does that make you feel any better?”
Steve: ” NO!! I’m an air bubble. We always burst, that’s how it ends!”
Jim: “Ugh.”
Posted By Diarmuid On 08.17.2011 @ 9:35 am
elastic
The chair I sit on is made of elastic “The work you are doing today is fantastic” My boss’s tone is sarcastic One of my co-workers’ breasts are plastic Get me out of this office before I turn spastic.
Posted By Diarmuid On 08.11.2011 @ 7:09 am
This elastic band to my right is giving me dirty looks. It keeps whispering to his friend, the stapler. They are conspiring against me, I know it. I need to inform somebody of their plot to end my life. Help. Somebody. HELP!!! Hel….
Posted By Diarmuid On 08.11.2011 @ 7:02 am
boiling
The heat in London today is crazy. It’s a dead heat. The cool water in my glass is boiling within mere minutes. I should really turn out the heating and put out the fire. This homemade sauna idea was a bit daft on further review
Posted By Diarmuid On 08.03.2011 @ 9:14 am
trophy
Smithford Copperstones was on the look out for another trophy wife after selling his last wife to the “naturals” upstream. In the end he settled for a fairly hefty looking cow. Big fan of his milk is Smithford Copperstones.
Posted By Diarmuid On 07.19.2011 @ 9:55 am
etiquette
“It’s not polite to do that Jim!” ” Do What?” “Speak with your mouth full, where’s your etiquette?” “Etiquette me hole”
Posted By Diarmuid On 07.14.2011 @ 4:13 am
remember
“Remember Yesterday when I said we were nearly out of Cornflakes?” “Yeah.” “Well now we’re out of Cornflakes.” “Damn.”
Posted By Diarmuid On 05.31.2011 @ 9:12 am
sideburns
Eugene came out of the bar with shotgun in hand. “What’s all this I hear about a gun fight?” He rubbed his rubbed the whiskey from his sideburns and loaded his gun…
Posted By Diarmuid On 05.30.2011 @ 7:33 am
