oneword.com

She can’t see any of his smudges. I’m really trying hard not to see them. I want to think hes a good person like she does. But mostly i hope that she doesn’t have smudges. I want to like them and not be offended by them. I want to respect their opinion. I want to think better of them. I don’t want this burning feeling inside of me everytime they show their smudges.

Posted By Harlow On 04.02.2013 @ 8:44 pm

Wheat Feeling Wholesome Like im getting all my nutrients Like maybe ill exercise today I’ll take the stairs today I’ll shave my legs today No desert today I’ll be outside today I’ll walk the dog today

Posted By Harlow On 03.29.2013 @ 2:30 pm

The principal of it. Im whining. I keep forming all these principals. i want to tell my boyfriend i love him cuz it feels like its bursting out of me everytime im with him and i love him. But im afraid he wont say anything back just because i says he doesnt know how to put things into words so he shows me in other ways but i just dont always speak that language and i might over react and cry because i dont want to love someone that doesnt love me back again especially not isaac. i tell him to tell me how he feels and he just says he cant put it into words. Every time im not with him i just want to say it more and ive never really felt this way about someone before but ive read lots of books and heard stories and watched movies and i know what it all looks like but to feel it. i see myself going through all the things im supposed to go through im living up to all the principals of love.

Posted By Harlow On 07.29.2012 @ 1:41 pm

My Crew Lydia and henry and adam We go swimming together to beaches to parties we eat doughnuts we watch weird movies like Sweet Hostage we walk around we go shopping When we’re together i feel secure, like im with my crew idk they are just the first thing i thought of when the word crew came up other than a crew neck, lydia loves that cut

Posted By Harlow On 07.15.2012 @ 1:36 pm

lemme lend him something. thats it. leave something at his place, then find a reason to get bubble tea together. Be more forgetful, more generous. forget only the car keys and cell phone charger, lend him all the things that you’ll “need” back eventually. Give him sugar and give him rides to work.

Posted By Harlow On 05.12.2012 @ 7:15 pm

Hallowed. Had to google it. To honor as holy. My sweater is holy. As in it has slots of holes in it. As in its damp from the rain some people would call holy water. Hallowed, i don’t think i hold anything sacred anymore. Except some people. they’re holy. Some moments are holy, but only with the rosy glasses of memory. i keep thinking of the time that i skipped school to go to the cemetery. and it was so stupid and i was sitting next to a guy who came with a lawn chair. I figured he’d been there before because he came prepared. And i was a junior and thought that i was special and deep and that math class couldn’t teach me anything about life. And i lied in the sun there above my grandparents grave and wondered if they could feel the sun too. I was never close to them. I couldn’t imagine a conversation that we would have. I just remember them picking rhubarb in our back yard and sitting on grandpas knee and not wanting to be there.grandma feeding us stale buegals. I remember it taking them a really long time to get in and out of chairs. And laughing at things that i didn’t understand like wigs and dentures. I don’t know if that moment in the cemetery was hallowed or just me trying to recreate a scene in misunderstood teen indie film. But i did do my math homework when i was there and i never went back again, because i didn’t want to know the name of the guy in the lawn chair. I didn’t want to realize that i should of brought a lawn chair.

Posted By Harlow On 04.30.2012 @ 12:39 pm

Puddle. Its weird how certain words make you feel certain ways. and the context is always important. A puddle could be a lake depending on the feet splashing in it. I feel like I’m treading water in a little puddle of a conversation. Only hanging on a few words “Hadley, i think you do.” Hanging on to the some certainty that he shouldn’t have given me. The worst part is that he started out with my name, like i couldn’t even pretend later that he was actually just talking to someone else in the room or to the fish bowl or the lamp. I have to learn to stop falling into puddles. Or at least the same puddle over and over and it just gets deeper and deeper. When will i get to the ocean. When will i be able to mention him without someone saying “Hadley, do you think you still have feelings for him?” and when will i be able to say “no” and mean it. And mean it enough to not have this conversation anymore.

Posted By Harlow On 04.11.2012 @ 7:43 am

She said it felt like she just caught a bunch of pins a needles in her hand. Like she just saw then falling and that was her first reaction. Don’t let them fall. She covers her hands with band aids that she found in the back of her cupboard and the sticky is a little dissolved. When you ask her what happen she smiles and ands says “just catching pins and needles. ” like they fall out of the sky like rain and she was just trying to catch a drop on her tongue. nothing to worry about. its just nature. our hands are always trying to catch things. even pins and needles. Even people who’s eyes only feel like pins and needles.

Posted By Harlow On 04.09.2012 @ 1:26 pm

heart ache

come one this is the topic…. i imagine once this 30 seconds is over I’m gonna see letters like love and heart and breathing and some description about how they share the same body parts but not like genitals, like bones. There will be a description about the scent that someone left behind on their sheets. Then there will be some kind of image of breaking or cracking or somehow feeling like there is a right and left, right and wrong part of you that there wasn’t before. Some one relating to glue and popsicle sticks and feeling like falling. someone ripping knives out of backs. maybe someone with a sense of humor and always thinks that THIS time, THIS time they eat spagettio’s they won’t get heart burn, heartache. and someone will have just been broken up with and be freaked out that one-word somehow took the only word in their head and put in front of them. How no matter what the word was they would of somehow related it hack to the feeling in their chest. i always think it feels like when you eat a bagel too fast. choked and swollen. someone will have just gotten into a new relationship and think of heartache as only a thing of the past. Can look at it with nostalgia, like window shopping, like a charm bracelet. Someone will look at the topic and not write anything because there isn’t any way to type out silent screaming except for the space bar. so they’ll just hold it down until they feel like there is enough space between heartache and themselves.

Someone’s will tell their spouse say thank you for never reminding them of what this word means. Someone will be me and actually laugh out loud at the fact that this word heartache is sitting at the top of this page and how everyone knows what it feels like but thinks they are the only one experiencing it. Heartache is just a condition that makes you feel like you are on a completely different frequency because your radio is broken. And you haven’t watched a romantic comedy in four months because you already have that ball in the back of your throat.

Posted By Harlow On 04.08.2012 @ 7:21 pm

Splash i think I’m supposed to think summer and pool and chlorine stained hair. Stinging eyes. I only want to ever think of these things. I want my life to only consist of bathing suits, stubbed toes from the concrete around the pool and popsicle stains. I only want to be in water. I want the water to slap me in the face so i know this is real. Splash me

Posted By Harlow On 03.29.2012 @ 3:33 pm

Catcher

Im thinkin catcher in the rye. How Holden just wanted to catch the children in the field. He just wanted to be a child and play. How danny told me that when he thinks of my name he thinks of Holden. He said because it was an H name and he hadn’t heard it before. He told me don’t worry your not like Holden

Posted By Harlow On 03.27.2012 @ 1:42 pm

Drifting First crack your head open. Whatever is closest, the counter, your locker. Crack it on how many times your father told you were a good person and you couldn’t believe him. Then you’ll drift

Posted By Harlow On 03.26.2012 @ 5:35 pm

Shhh…..

For some reason it seems like whispering counteracts this. Like if you can yell your emotions quietly. in between breath and teeth and tongue. If what you are saying is strong enough it doesn’t how loud you say. just how much you mean it

Posted By Harlow On 03.25.2012 @ 2:49 pm

My brain should be fixed on this paper. I’ve had two weeks to do it and haven’t. My mind’s been fixed on so many other things. My brain needs to be fixed. I can’t fall asleep without taking pills can’t wake up unless sprayed with water. Dreaming of resolutions when I’m still stuck in the in between area. It feels like where ever i go I’m just in in-between’s and i want to go where no one knows me but also where people can see me. I used to get this feeling in my hands and eyes when i needed to kick something into over drive. but right now I’m just in between nothing things and i can only stare at things or the back of my mind and I’m thinking about how the fat on my stomach is touching my legs. I can feel all the fat sitting and touching and sticking. And i want to someday know what is feels like to be able to write a paper without being distracted by all my “positive” space. Make me more negative. Fix me. Make me past tense. Say i’m fixed

Posted By Harlow On 03.21.2012 @ 7:18 pm

Duration

I’ve been here for a long time and I’m living like all i gotta do is go to sleep and it will be the next day and it won’t feel like I’m enduring something anymore for the duration of my time I’m just trying to get the d maybe that will make time go faster, make me sleep better, longer

Posted By Harlow On 03.14.2012 @ 11:14 am

**Facebook Inbox notification** From: A stupid boy who i had previously blocked because he’s stupid, and i stupidly unblocked. “hadley the book was really sad. especially the ending hit me hard. i think i just wasn’t too interested at first because i’ve never lost anyone close to me.are you talking to me again?”

ANSWER: NO! Real answer: ” “ First reaction answer: “Why did i unblock you?! i was asking for this” Second reaction: “How did you find me?” Answer from my rib cage: ” Will you be better?” Hopeful Answer: “Maybe when you grow up.” Honest answer: “I’m not going to talk to you but things will probably remind me of you on a daily basis and then ill forget about you after a while until one day someone mentions you or something reminds me and by then maybe ill talk to you again. if it seems worth it” More Honest Answer: “I don’t think you’ll ever really change, you’ll just fool me for a little while until i let you walk all over me again” Funny Answer: EFF NO! Crisp Answer: i feel like answering this would be me talking to you, but basically i just want to say no, I’m not. Stupid answer: “Yes of course we can talk again, now that you liked my book. You have solved everything abdullah. I can completely and totally trust you. Wow this is refreshing. I’m so lucky to have you in my life.” Question Answer: “Would you talk to you again?” Burn Answer: ” You’re wrong, you did lose someone close to you. ME.”

Posted By Harlow On 01.13.2012 @ 2:54 pm

**Facebook Inbox notification** From: A stupid boy who i had previously blocked because he’s stupid, and i stupidly unblocked. “hadley the book was really sad. especially the ending hit me hard. i think i just wasn’t too interested at first because i’ve never lost anyone close to me.are you talking to me again?”

ANSWER: NO! Real answer: ” “ First reaction answer: “Why did i unblock you?! i was asking for this” Second reaction: “How did you find me?” Answer from my rib cage: ” Will you be better?” Hopeful Answer: “Maybe when you grow up.” Honest answer: “I’m not going to talk to you but things will probably remind me of you on a daily basis and then ill forget about you after a while until one day someone mentions you or something reminds me and by then maybe ill talk to you again. if it seems worth it” More Honest Answer: “I don’t think you’ll ever really change, you’ll just fool me for a little while until i let you walk all over me again” Funny Answer: FUCK NO! Crisp Answer: i feel like answering this would be me talking to you, but basically i just want to say no, I’m not. Stupid answer: “Yes of course we can talk again, now that you liked my book. You have solved everything abdullah. I can completely and totally trust you. Wow this is refreshing. I’m so lucky to have you in my life.” Question Answer: “Would you talk to you again?” Burn Answer: ” You’re wrong, you did lose someone close to you. ME.”

Posted By Harlow On 01.13.2012 @ 2:50 pm

Everything about you is sparking now. Its like my memories took all the love i had for you and sprinkled it over the only thing i have left of you. I can only remember your chipped nail polish and laugh now every memory has sunshine glowing on your skin and you are always smiling everything i sparkling about you when gabe calls me sister it sparkles brighter without you. My love didn’t know where to go without you so instead of you i have these sparkly memories but i would trade this glitter for you to be here right now let me give you all my sunny memories to have you here next me let me get mad at you for stealing my clothing without asking steal my car keys at night so you can go meet a boy who does’t deserve you in a meijer parking lot i want to see you heart break by boys that will never be able to see how beautiful you are i just want to see you grow up i don’t want all this sparkle anymore i want to be able to feel more for you When people ask me how many sisters i have, i want to be able to say two without having to explain why they never see you

Posted By Harlow On 01.11.2012 @ 4:40 pm

Clamp your hair pretty darling. Get that hair out of your face, Un clamp your lips little girl, let me see how your words fall over your face. Twist your thoughts around your little finger

Posted By Harlow On 12.24.2011 @ 1:59 pm

the fireplace was just there. sitting there , looking at me like I’m supposed to do something about this. I ask it “why does it feel more cozy to be cold and in the dark?” My voice bounces off the stone tongue of the fireplace. Mister Fireplace I’m sorry i can’t light you. i don’t have enough light in me, not enough lightness in my feet not enough bounce in my hair. i can feed you wood and clean up the ashes in the corners of your mouth.But can’t let you warm me can’t let your rosy my cheeks. There are somethings i can’t offer a home

Posted By Harlow On 12.24.2011 @ 7:18 am

i think i supposed to think of a vase. filled with flowers and ribbons or fruit and twigs. And how clean our white plates are between us. but i can’t ignore this other centerpiece between us. Its like how spoons hug each other in utensil drawers and forks get tangled in each other. I keep having to break up with you and you won’t let me. I keep breaking the vase between us. I’m trying to stop the dishes from getting dirty. But you like how tape looks along cracks. you make it easier for me to break each time. it repeats like shampoo. I’m just trying to rinse myself of you. I’m trying to take away the centerpiece between us , so I’m not feeling like this should be so formal. i want paper plates and sitting on the same side of the table. But you like it when all I’m eating with is knives. i can only cut my food for so long. This has been between us for so long.

Posted By Harlow On 12.04.2011 @ 2:43 pm

I wanna think of sunset. But I’m just thinking of when i asked him what school he went to he said skyline. First i thought he was just trying to be mysterious but really his school was called skyline. He sits on skyline chairs from 8 to 3. walks between class to class on the skyline, words written in skyline. I imagine there are cloud bubbles coming out of sky kids with dreams and aspirations.

Posted By Harlow On 11.29.2011 @ 2:06 pm

Another word for chuckle. Like a fruit you would pick off a branch in the forest.Think blackberry stained lips and finger. Thinkin this has gotta be nature im heaing.Sugar flowing out of throats. A laughter of fruit salad.

Posted By Harlow On 11.21.2011 @ 12:10 pm

I keep my rules under my finger nails. I keep painting over them with red and blue chemicals. it doesn’t help me to forget them. i trim them frequently so dirt doesn’t get trapped under them. One summer i lost my nail clipper and I fell in love the rules got mixed up with sand and smoke. i couldn’t see where i was supposed to stop. I forget that i put the rules there to protect me. I made a new rule. Always clip your finger nails

Posted By Harlow On 11.20.2011 @ 3:22 pm

Suppose

iM SUPPOSING a lot of things. i suppose i like tea. It depends who I’m drinking it with. I suppose you could say that i sleep a lot. But if you are asking if i ever feel well rested then i would say no. Somedays i suppose i love you. I think all days i do But somedays i don’t want to. Its easier to lie others than myself. It only lasts somedays I suppose.

Posted By Harlow On 10.03.2011 @ 5:57 pm

Pressed

I was pressed on bed sheets And thats all there was The only feeling going from the tip of my tongue to my lips down my throat to my spine.Is pressed. Pressing No love or kindness no sugar rush high , light headed feeling, why are his lips burning into me I wanted it to hurt more. Wanted it to feel like sitting in a hot car pressed on leather seats So he stopped pressing and he left. He said summer would be better. “I don’t have time” Who has time? Time isn’t like change in your pocket. You make it He couldn’t press time anymore

Posted By Harlow On 09.25.2011 @ 4:28 pm

Trade

Trade is a word that floats often in my head. like i have this on going deal with my kid neighbor on halloween and we are trading candy. I would trade a lot of things And for some reason i keep making these negotiations to get me places When i don’t need to give up anything i just need to try i don’t need to give up music to be happy And i don’t need to lose my voice to feel loved. I don’t want to trade anymore This is the candy I’ve been dealt

Posted By Harlow On 09.12.2011 @ 11:30 am

Hover

Lets hover over a place. A place that could of lasted longer. Hover over a second before things got complicated Go back to the moment when i didn’t know what feelings felt like Lets just hover here

Posted By Harlow On 09.11.2011 @ 12:12 pm

Bars Candy bars . Think railed bars. Prison Trapped in candy bars. Eating your way our of prison. Going to a bar. Drinkng at a bar . Drinking too much at a bar. Hitting your head on a bar on the play ground of the school you once went to. Reading bars off a stand. Wake up Standing on bars.

Posted By Harlow On 09.08.2011 @ 11:57 am

Exisitence

Shiiiit. I was hoping that the word wouldn’t be so profound. I’m trying to feel less profound. if you take out the “rof” in profound you get pound which is the feeling in my head when i try and think about my existence. And pound is also the unit used to measure the heaviness that hangs inside of me. I picture it like a sweater with stretched shoulders dangling from a hanger. The pounds build up. This hanger is only hanging on by the tip. This is my existence

Posted By Harlow On 09.07.2011 @ 4:15 pm