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The end of the countdown looms: less than a minute, and my breath is caught. My fingers are hollow. Who knew a minute could go so slowly?

Posted By LILYhibiku On 05.10.2013 @ 5:50 pm

You say you think you could be everyone. The truth is, you don’t think you can be anyone. The taste of soap is in my mouth, bubbles in my hair. Every time I catch that scent, I remember those words.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 05.09.2013 @ 5:31 pm

Earth crumbled away from my feet and plummeted into the chasm. I stared over the edge, heart pounding, slowly but surely inching forward, and wondered how long this one would last.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 04.20.2013 @ 8:33 am

“Whatever it is, it should help you to get some leverage over him.” She stared me straight in the eye. “Got it?” I nodded, glancing away. Everything in my appearance was the picture of compliance. But inside, I was seething. What right did she have to determine people’s lives?

Posted By LILYhibiku On 04.15.2013 @ 6:46 pm

Your mind is chained, your words shackled. You can no longer speak freely. You are confined to these walls, forced into a prison. Expressing yourself is not something that comes naturally, but an effort. Welcome to the prison of the sentence.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 02.28.2013 @ 6:48 pm

You are all bleeding, pinching the cut to hasten the red, and you hold up your paper cut to the world and cry as if your throat has just been sliced open.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 02.26.2013 @ 5:16 pm

Shadows crept along the walls, dipped into cracks and slid out again, long, drawn-out. They tiptoed past the slumbering figures, silently drawing up closer, shading them with darkness against the rock. The mouth of the cave was ahead. Grass. A breeze. Moonlight.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 02.24.2013 @ 10:42 am

If emotions are all fake, then I can choose to be happy. For so long I hated the fact that emotions weren’t as true as people make them out to be, that I could easily make myself love something or hate something or be happy or be sad. We’re like robots who pretend to feel. But it doesn’t matter anymore. If we can control our emotions, force ourselves to feel, then I can make myself be happy. I choose to be happy, I choose those emotions that will make life better to live.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 01.17.2013 @ 3:38 pm

My speech is clumsy. Words tumble over one another, scramble to get out and fall, stepped on and pushed down by each other until they make no sense at all. They think they can make it out of my mouth same as my words make it out through my fingers, at the speed of messy handwriting in blue ink, the speed of fingers typing frantically across a keyboard. But they’re wrong. Speech and writing are not the same. Because no matter how clumsily the words fill the page, no matter how many times I make typos and have to press the backspace key, the words themselves are what matter. The words themselves are graceful, and it doesn’t matter how clumsily they appear.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 01.14.2013 @ 3:52 pm

In every end is also a beginning. In every end, comes change. We’re wired to resist it, wired to hate it and fight it limb from limb, and even though they all want to be free of that thing called “natural”, “human”, “fate”, even though they want that and he is a part of them, he is still a victim of it. He’s afraid of endings. His fear makes him cower in the darkness of night, wrap his arms tightly around himself as if that will keep him from falling apart.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 01.13.2013 @ 1:21 pm

To cry. An outpouring of human emotion, a tight feeling in the chest that can only be relieved through salty tears rushing over the skin. So many times we feel dead inside, we feel nothing; we force ourselves to laugh, to smile, to say words we don’t believe. Sometimes we lie so much about these emotions that we start to believe them ourselves. Can’t even tell when we really feel something and when we don’t. But crying–no one wants to cry. They use all their might to keep the tears inside, and when they come, they have no choice. The truest show of emotion, the truest way to show what is inside.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 01.12.2013 @ 10:37 am

The young man bowed slowly and stiffly, his forehead almost brushing against the ground. “Anything for you…” he murmured, and then, with a hardly noticeable grimace, “…Master.” The word was uttered in a quiet, low tone, his disgust barely concealed.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 01.10.2013 @ 3:48 pm

Promise me you’re not going to do anything. Promise me you’ll leave things as they are, don’t dare to change, just never say anything and always stay silent. Promise me you’ll keep it locked up, no matter how much you think it hurts right now, because you’ll be grateful for it at some point later. Promise me you won’t do it, said the little heart-stopping voice for the ninety-ninth time this day.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 01.08.2013 @ 5:01 pm

In the darkness, I felt fingers brushing against mine. Aria gripped my hand. “Jessica…can we make a promise?” she whispered. I turned my face toward hers, though it made no difference whether my eyes were open or closed in the pitch-blackness. “Yeah?” “Let’s stay friends forever.” I smiled and squeezed her hand. “All right. I promise.” Five years ago, when we twisted our pinkies in the darkness and swore to never be apart. Five years ago, before we were wrung dry by middle school, when we believed in eternity for the sole reason that we couldn’t understand it. It’s been five years since we made that promise. And, today, five months since I broke it.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 01.08.2013 @ 4:56 pm

You’re allowed to live it in your head, but you’re not allowed to show it. You’re allowed to think it in your mind, but you’re not allowed to speak. Hold your breath and cover your mouth, and promise me this one thing. You’ll never show.

I’ll let you live, I’ll let you laugh. I’ll let you cry, I’ll let you fall. Draw an X and close your eyes, and tell me now: You’ll never show.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 12.27.2012 @ 3:35 pm

“She knows.” The man muttered haphazardly as he dug through the heap of trash. A mouse scurried over his foot in the darkness and he kicked it aside without so much as a backward glance. “She knows, she knows, she knows. She’s going to kill me.” The moon was a thin crescent in the sky. He glanced up at it and, as if speaking directly to it, said in a low voice, “She knows. She knows. You’ve got to help me.”

Posted By LILYhibiku On 12.23.2012 @ 9:50 am

Let’s play a game. Close your eyes and grab my hand… Everyone in this world will become an enemy eventually. So for just tonight, why don’t we forget that? And pretend this will last forever?

Posted By LILYhibiku On 12.18.2012 @ 5:12 pm

The shopkeeper leans her elbows on the counter. “I’m sorry, we don’t have any of those available today.” She smiles down at me. It’s a blank, stretched smile, one that doesn’t quite reach her eyes, and I find myself wishing she’d look me directly in the face instead of looking down her nose at a place somewhere behind my forehead.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 12.11.2012 @ 4:04 pm

“Set me free… Higher….” Her voice comes in through my earbuds, and I flip on my iPod and spin the dial. Turning the sound up higher, so high that it blocks out the sounds of the people on the bus crowded all around me. Letting the music set me free.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 12.04.2012 @ 2:41 pm

“You’re not from around here.” The voice echoes accusingly around the dining hall. I watch with wooden eyes through the glass chandelier, the candlelight glowing in the silver. The two are the only ones in the room. Unaware that I am here. But I am here. I am always here.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 11.26.2012 @ 1:59 pm

A thought: a passing whisper, an echo of an idea. Most often, forgotten within another moment. They’re not always true, thoughts. They can be a random jumble of words…thrown together in a moment. Don’t…don’t listen to your thoughts. Don’t let them control your emotions: let your emotions be emotions, not thoughts. Just because your heart is pounding means nothing. It’s okay if you don’t want to think.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 11.17.2012 @ 3:05 pm

I think sometimes we’re no different from robots. Every emotion is measured, every wish calculated. If we decide to feel everything that we feel, then what emotion is true? What is real? How can we feel anything at all? We measure our emotions. Tell ourselves, “Okay. You should feel sad, and you should feel this amount of sad, so feel just like that.” But then, they’re not really true at all, if we tell ourselves to think that way? Are they…? Is that as far as feeling can go?

Posted By LILYhibiku On 11.14.2012 @ 6:02 pm

We’re born to exist in another dimension. The reason why I live here is not to enjoy reality, but to use it to create more worlds–live in our imagination. People reject reality so often, but it shouldn’t be dismissed so quickly. Instead we should take it as a chance to live in our imagination, express ourselves through the arts, because if we didn’t have this life, we wouldn’t have any.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 11.13.2012 @ 4:08 pm

Who is somebody? I want somebody to find me, somebody to see me, somebody to hear me. We spend so much of our lives searching for somebody, only to discover that we never really needed them after all. The most interesting people are the ones who are their own somebodies, the people who live as they are and are happy on their own. Or at least the people who create their own realities–who define the space surrounding them, rather than letting that space define them.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 11.12.2012 @ 3:16 pm

I kept saying that it was a lie. But I never fully realized it–I couldn’t accept it until I opened my eyes and saw that every face I had ever drawn in my mind looked like yours. They are all a reflection of you. They all tell me: It is the truth. You can’t hide anymore.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 11.11.2012 @ 5:13 pm

I’ll draw a picture in my mind, a world I can escape to. It will be nothing like this one. It will be everything like this one. How could it not be like this one? I love this place, even when I feel like I hate it.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 11.11.2012 @ 5:11 pm

I want to stop covering my mouth and let my voice echo out to the world. I want to stop covering my eyes, covering my ears. Hiding the world from myself. Trying to hide myself from the world, and failing. A vain attempt, while this roar builds inside of me, distorts me more with each passing day it goes unspoken.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 11.09.2012 @ 7:57 pm

A prison. We’re all slaves, aren’t we? Humans are so stupid, convincing themselves that the most primal of their desires are something complicated and immeasurable. You don’t realize it. But you’re bending yourself to fit this choking cage, too.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 02.12.2013 @ 6:42 pm

My problem is that there is no solution. I keep searching for one, to ground myself in, an answer that will take away all my questions. But when I choose one side or the other, I’m not satisfied. When I choose in between, I need to pick an answer. I keep ending up undecided, but I have to realize that there isn’t a solution to my civil war.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 10.23.2012 @ 5:53 pm

I grit my teeth and turn away, staring out the window at the thick gray rain pouring down. It hits the sidewalk with force, tiny drops breaking and splashing up into tinier crowns, every drop combining to make a sheet falling endlessly from the sky. I want to be that rain. I want to be able to hit something as hard as that rain hits the ground.

Posted By LILYhibiku On 10.21.2012 @ 5:50 pm