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It was an excellent suggestion, he thought to himself. He couldn’t wonder why he hadn’t thought of it before. It had all the hallmarks of a truly genius move and it wasn’t something anyone would think he would do. It would take care of everything; Grandma would be sorted, and he would have his life back. He only had to convince her…

Posted By Muppet On 07.11.2012 @ 4:35 am

Switching the switches switched nothing. Switching to the new switches however switched everything. It was switched for the better when the new switches were switched for the old switches.

Posted By Muppet On 06.12.2012 @ 2:44 am

He always got into trouble with his lending, his father thought he lent too much and his mother thought he lent too little. It was true, he didn’t lend at all. His father thought he did, and his mother thought he didn’t, those cleverly worded documents did wonders for the little lawyer’s bank accounts.

Posted By Muppet On 05.13.2012 @ 10:41 am

The penguins watched as the boat sank. The people on the boat were bailing water out, but the water flowed incessantly through the hole in the bottom. Stupid iceberg. Why wasn’t the captain watching? And still, those heartless penguins looked on, and they watched as the boat rose up into the air and split into two. Thousands died that night. This is not the true story of the Titanic.

Posted By muppet On 08.23.2011 @ 4:16 am

The boat is floating, but only just. There’s a hole in the bottom. Buckets are pulled out and water is thrown over board, but the amount of water coming in through the hole is quadruple that going out of the boat. The boat is sinking. There’s no one to save it. It’s in the middle of the ocean. The penguins stand off on their iceberg watching the boat sink. Finally, the boat sinks and the penguins carry on being penguins, and not a fuck was given for the rest of the day.

Posted By muppet On 08.23.2011 @ 4:11 am