Entries By Tescia Schell
Displaying 1 To 30 Of 48 Entries
three muscles flex preparing to sift through the etcha sketch travel through the lines in the road you find yourself already trapped in the box running running running along one line that wrapps around everything raps quietly on on my chamber door on my heart making my rhythm life push start kick bass string and i’m stuck on that line againPosted By Tescia Schell On 09.07.2012 @ 3:23 pm
the profound lack of lines around your eyes says your not wise yet the crows still bark in your mind they have not reached the mud of your skin keep calling it clay if you want either way you’re still waiting for an imprint its just a couple of footprints from a bird to you but really its about learning how to get yourself out of the mud to think and love at the same time realize you are hollow bones
maybe i honored it maybe i didn’t
i know i am fragile because i keep cracking at odd angles sometimes i feel silly for thinking that i might find something that makes me feel full and doesn’t weigh me down
but at times i need a little grounding because as a human i can be astoundingly stupid i forget i don’t want to float away or be stuck in the same place
In those moments where i am atmospheric surrounded by tree branches and the cosmos the violet humbles me while i realize each leave is a moment i have lived
maybe i honored it maybe i didn’t
i climb down the trunk into the grass and meet the frogs and animals i couldn’t when my head was caught up in the airPosted By Tescia Schell On 11.02.2011 @ 11:14 pm
i want to match you up with blue corn pancakes maybe its because you told me you only eat once a day or because they have nothing to do with you and nothing is void nothing is a blank to fill so i will call you blue corn pancakes when im hungry for the kind of nervous you give me they feel like the vibrations from a ray gun in the sixties that disintegrates everything then something groovy happens
i want this nothing between you and me to be an awakening but i’m only nineteen age age age is the baseball player of my loss with you you’re a damn good catcher
i could say nothing happened null and void but i went crazy wishing i knew how to hit a home-run wishing i could celebrate with blue-corn pancakes after it reminds me of a childhood memory i never owned never did never will nothing is a blank to fillPosted By Tescia Schell On 10.24.2011 @ 1:56 am
i am sitting in an upside down umbrella scooping out the rain with the scrunched up bowl of my hands i float along from puddle to puddle these little lakes barely contain all of your thirst i want to quench if i can at all i don’t know your ends
i bob to the next body of water and feel your thigh as i swim through this lazy river of remembering fights recalling every holy instance it’s just that i thought you sung me a love song back there and that you meant itPosted By Tescia Schell On 08.24.2011 @ 11:44 pm
is that the last time i’m going to see your house? being kicked out on wasp wings i want more than anything to resolve everything and you could quit being so selfish and quit taking my selflessness on rides that make olympus look low hanging this morning began another mourning. i want to quit counting your lorePosted By Tescia Schell On 07.31.2011 @ 9:31 pm
You are my crazy i held you in my phone like you were about to break and me crying was going to save us both but dad going back to rehab isn’t making feel better anymore
checking in after you check out of every promise to every day with each injection that you take makes my belief in you wash away with the rivers of what every you can get into your veins they leave quick dont they
you’ve eaten all of the salt water taffy my eyes can make maybe it was sweet to you but just take a second to stop taking use a moment to just give yourself to the rain
it wont wash away the needle points or liquor stains but it’ll make you feel real awake and maybe awake is the closest thing your going to feel to alive today but at least its a start because one day I’d like to see you wake up to your life just as it is it wont be perfect
you might feel lonely at first but maybe then we can commiserate because all this time that you’ve checked in and out of my life as if i were some shanty hotel where you keep your happy moments as if they were secret as if you better not use them too much because they might dry up
all this time i’ve tried writing writing you into a figment of my imagination then into a fairytale where your limbs are tree branches. i get to look at you everyday hold your hand as i make noise with the fences i skip past into a fairy tail where you are the breeze and when I’m in a sketchy situation and it gets real windy i know its time to leave
because good papas keep their babies warm and safe and i hope in reality you’d do the same if you weren’t so sick everyday
though i don’t believe starting in the same place is always going to get you to similar ends i was just thinking we could start a new trend this time and you could come visit me more than when i was five i promise to try real hard to quit resenting and blaming you and start just letting you be the person you are
you are my crazy your are different things you are my father and you are the breezePosted By Tescia Schell On 06.19.2011 @ 9:53 pm
sometimes i’m blue due to the presence of you this is just a little something as i stand at the station watching you wave into blur as i ride away on someone else’s kisses maybe were lovers in another dimension where the sky is purple n’ shit
i should have roped you up when i had the skills to instead i wasted them on old boyfriends and the should’ves and could’ves now all i have is half an arm extended to help you up after your heartbreak
i only have the littlest wish it was because of me and the smallest hope that you’ll come dashing after me to find my affections hidden in a box under the bed of my breathing
I’m going to whisper at you all day how i want to lie in bed with you all day play patty cake because i like pushing buttons open
the funny thing about any of this is that the sky is purple during sunsets and early morning wake-ups ans still the things that i want don’t come easy or sometimes at allPosted By Tescia Schell On 06.14.2011 @ 9:36 pm
i wanted to make you my canteen i wanted to kiss you whenever i was thirsty and you’d cure my yearning by being my date to dinner and my light-hearted lover
Maybe it’s because i’m a lady and your a woman but lady i’m the woman that’s been wanting to love you lately i want us to be the adventure that saves me makes me realize my walk through the jungle helps me love my life daily
i know i might be a problem you don’t want to figure in your head maybe the numbers are just too big and i know eleven years means the difference between what cartoons we watched when we were kids but can we just cuddle for a bit?
if i could pick a daisy for every butterfly i get when i see you i’d be able to bring you a bouquet every morning with a box full of butterflies i hope your not grossed out that they came from my belly but i promise, they’re not covered in my breakfast they didn’t come from my stomach they came from my diaphragm in the cocoon of my lungs when i first whispered your name is where they originally sprang
i want to kiss you endlessly make you chocolate-chip pancakes while you sleepPosted By Tescia Schell On 05.26.2011 @ 7:05 pm
My throat is glowing red soar from swearing to the picket fence dream now i say it in vain i know there is no tire swing on the other side of this day dream that i call my brain that cranks out silly little notes on a treble clef that no one will ever hearPosted By Tescia Schell On 05.12.2011 @ 10:28 pm
i drew my third eye on my forehead with eyeliner the other day hoping to find out why you are so good at making me feel like shit
keep talking bullshit it fertilizes my fits i will always care about you but now i choose quit no restart no back to menu leave me alone for a little bit though i don’t want you to
its funny how sometimes what we need isn’t what we want
if it was up to me i’d start over blank so we could write everything in a different font and change our minds and decide to love instead of fear
we bath ourselves in insecure when all we really need is a change of clothes a change of fright because we’ll always be afraid of something but why not take each other off the list tonight and stand toe to toe because i know i can be a little crazy from time to time but i care about you so much that sometimes i want to wrap my head around you and ask why you don’t care about me too
sometimes love is a one way street and its hard to accept that you will never meet back up with everything you just gave out like when you gave out from under me and let me drop like a penny in a well but no wishes will stop my pouting
i need to learn to do it alone send you light and love then let it go just let it go go.Posted By Tescia Schell On 05.06.2011 @ 2:24 pm
There is a trailer hitched to the car that i am sometimes its heavy or I don’t even notice it.
Today i made a conscious attempt to clean it out, give stuff away, and throw out the trash.
As i walked in the walls made of trees started growing back to what they were and you were sitting in the corner looking like the puddle the witch turned into after Dorothy threw water on her.
At first i wanted to pick you up into my body hold you in the hinges of my arms shape you into the person i wish you were
But you’ve been spoiled sitting back here too long.Posted By Tescia Schell On 04.27.2011 @ 8:21 pm
at the intersection of anger st and desire stuck at a red light picking fights with the people in the cross walk signs drawing tic-tack-toe lines on my body hoping to win or lose – just gain you or let it go so long as I’m ready for the green so i can get away from this traffic machine holding me here in this birdcage
i need to get out to nature to the wild to the wild santiy my mind makes when i’m out of the city of people and confuison diluted meanings
and just breathPosted By Tescia Schell On 04.25.2011 @ 11:07 pm
like rewind we keep watching the same section of our lives over again as if any more listening would help write knew maps find gold in a bucket of iron but were running out of metal all that’s left is the stuff that reflects that were just settling for each otherPosted By Tescia Schell On 04.24.2011 @ 9:42 am
a little crazy too many foreign things makes my calmness lazy but a long water later I’m at a different place so blame me that my heart goes zig zag and takes everyone with it that in my anxiousness all i want is a good fit around my hand or something around my body like a hug because last time i checked we were all about making each other feel good but i want it for more than just this moment i want it to fill all of the other directions of this secondPosted By Tescia Schell On 04.21.2011 @ 11:08 pm
Back to back you scratched the itch and now i am slit with shoulder blades showing no wings no judgment i can bring about you
i just want to be whole without the hysterical. You so easily can get me besides myself. But aside form myself i cant see anyone else in the picture frame of my today. I wish my hardest for you.
i am alonely most always but i am learning to love the alone because it means there will be no phone ringing in my body telling me to call you .
my chest percussion and breath rhythm are doing just fine keeping up with bedtimes poems and writing back pen palsPosted By Tescia Schell On 04.14.2011 @ 10:28 pm
you are severe in the ways you passify lets talk instead of watch tv lets be instead of being something were not
i wish on all of the lucky things like dandelions and meteors barreling through the atmosphere that you can be the person i need you to be
wishing only works when you mean itPosted By Tescia Schell On 04.13.2011 @ 5:00 pm
i trust this sleep about to happen; the rolling hills of my cerebellum turn into a pause, a serene moment where everything is frozen like a wasps wings spritzed with hairspray.
Prayers in the morning are ones of hope, at night they are asking how to carry on.
I will wait until the day opens its east eye to peek in with all the light and love i need to feel i conquered the night and savor that much better– that i refrained from you.Posted By Tescia Schell On 03.30.2011 @ 11:32 pm