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I tumble down. Not just fall. Fall implies a simple, nonmomentous action. I tumble. It’s a rough, bumpy ride down into self-hate and depression.

Posted By Amanda On 06.18.2013 @ 8:13 pm

I have been completely strung out, like an old wash cloth. Everything you can get from me you’ve gotten from me, and I’m done. So please, just set me down somewhere and let me be. I just want to exist for once.

Posted By Amanda On 06.16.2013 @ 8:37 pm

My life broke apart into thousands of pieces, like everything I’ve ever thought was suddenly broken into the many pixels of my life. Piece by piece by piece, my pixels broke apart.

Posted By Amanda On 06.14.2013 @ 9:29 pm

The screen was blank. He could feel the invisible hands of inevitability sink into his skin and tug at his heart. It couldn’t be true, he told himself, desperately trying to believe his delusion. He reached into his pocket with fervent anger and withdrew his phone. Scanning the screen with blurred vision, he re-read the message in his head until it echoed ceaselessly in his mind and the words held no meaning. His mind was numb and burning with rage.

“I swear to you,” he snarled between gritted teeth, “I will have my revenge before this is over.”

Posted By Amanda On 06.13.2013 @ 11:01 pm

I never faced my problems. I always fleed. I am a coward. Worthless. If I never stand up for myself and what I believe in, I’ll never get anywhere in life. I’ll always be fleeing. Never pushing forward.

Posted By Amanda On 06.12.2013 @ 7:07 pm

Fools are people who think that happiness, success, and peace somehow find you. That you don’t have to go searching for anything because if it was meant for you it would be there. That something you invest time in shouldn’t be hard, ever. That you don’t have to work for the things you love.

Posted By Amanda On 06.09.2013 @ 1:56 pm

I don’t know how you went undected by me for so long. You were one of the same flock of people. You were part of the same wave of people. You were nothing that drew my attention in anyway. Until one, day, I heard someone ask, “Is anyone else sitting here?”, and I looked up to see your face.

Posted By Amanda On 06.09.2013 @ 5:06 am

She lay on the green grass facing up. A slight breeze blew her hair across her face. She smelled the distinct sweet scent of cut grass. The sun warmed her face. Dark clouds began to fill the once blue skies. The sun disappeared and a chill filled the air, she shivered. Droplets began to fall from above. The smell of death suddenly lingered in the air as the trees began to sway violently on this suddenly dark day.

Tranquility and Chaos.

Posted By Amanda On 06.05.2013 @ 5:33 am

Curled up against the dirty, cold brick wall he held a rusted, empty coffee can in his left weathered hand. I took a step closer to him and he shook the can, making the loose change rattle, hinting that he wanted me to add to his charity stash. I hesitated. He looked up at me. His face was dirty, making his eyes appear even more sky blue than they really were.

Posted By Amanda On 06.04.2013 @ 5:27 am

Homeless… Such a bleak grey word. its an empty feeling in the pit of your stomach, the deep dark gnawing feeling. The failure you experience when you cant provide, when you can survive. Its a mean, cruel lesson many people have to learn, one that many people don’t survive.

Posted By Amanda On 06.03.2013 @ 3:56 pm

U2s “It’s a Beautiful Day” plays low on the radio. The narrow dirt road is shaded by an umbrella of trees arcing overhead. As the road turns and twists, my tires leave a cloud of dust behind. I turn up the radio and roll the windows down. Tucked away behind acres of trees is an isolated field. I drive on. Over an old wooden bridge I come to my special place by the river. I breath in. The air is hot and moist, a breeze lifts my hair off my shoulders. I am home.

Posted By Amanda On 05.31.2013 @ 5:50 am

Yes, it was the 80′s. A decade remembered for its extravagant hair, tight stone washed jeans, and neon clothing.

Posted By Amanda On 05.30.2013 @ 5:25 am

She formed her body into strange, yet intriguing oblique lines. Her silhouette was beautiful against the fire of sunset. Hair dangled down her arced back, her hands reached back as if to find something she was missing. Yes, she was beautiful.

Posted By Amanda On 05.29.2013 @ 5:30 am

It wasn’t easy to look through a dozen six-foot tall piles of paperwork. It scared her, the amount of information she had to sift through to get to the bottom of her mom’s murder. She took a deep breath and delved into the chaos.

Posted By Amanda On 05.27.2013 @ 6:44 pm

I couldn’t help myself. The ooey, gooey, chocolaty goodness smelled divine. I took the wooden spoon in my hand and dipped in deep into the sweet goodness, then pulled it out as quickly as I could. The wooden spoon dripped with sweetness until I shoved it in my mouth.

Posted By Amanda On 05.27.2013 @ 5:29 pm

shattered broken spirit, what do we say, what do we think? this mind is such a void, or rather a vortex, full of broken dreams, brimming with my egotistical mania, and it is just an instrument; it has become a SHATTERED mirror of what we were meant and long to be…. our infinite self, breaking free, shattering from the confines of the mind

Posted By amanda On 05.26.2013 @ 4:28 pm

The man pulled his cap over his eyes to keep out the sun. His eyes were as grey as the sky and his skin was as tough as leather. In his wrinkled, bony hands he held his favorite pole. He arced his arms back, then whipped the pole forward. The lind dropped into the large pool of water. Yes, he thought, today is going to be a good day.

Posted By Amanda On 05.22.2013 @ 5:27 am

I am just part of the casting of the play called life. This time I happened to get the leading role. I follow the script. Say this. Move here. Feel this way. It’s all mechanical. Precise. I have all of my lines memorized.

Posted By Amanda On 05.21.2013 @ 7:11 pm

The men were wearing skirts made of animal skins, their large hairy thighs bulged. Two of them grabbed a large metallic sphere, they strained as they lifted the ball onto the mount, “gar” they roared.

Posted By Amanda On 05.21.2013 @ 5:24 am

I picked him up and cradled him in my arms. His skin was soft to touch. I breathed in and smelled his sweet smell of shampoo and milk. I looked into his the deep blue pools that were his eyes, he looked at me with love, and I began to rock and sing to him this lullaby.

Posted By Amanda On 05.20.2013 @ 5:12 am

My father sung the same lullaby to me every night. I would be in the state inbetween wakefulness and sleep, and reality would start to muddle and distort. The lullaby would take over the surroundings, and I’d see everything in the song. Then sleep would come, and the lullaby would manifest itself again.

Posted By Amanda On 05.19.2013 @ 8:01 pm

there was a kid who was very sick. he needed something. no one could figure it out. he couldnt breathe right. just coughed all the time. hospitals and tests. his family was so worried. the poor boy started coughing up blood. the doctors had no idea what was wrong with him. they could only keep him comfortable before he….

Posted By amanda On 05.18.2013 @ 12:31 am

The lights went down. The guitarist struck a cord, the sound of the strings filled the room. Sweet smelling fog crept onto the stage. The singer stepped forward and took the standing microphone in both hands. The stage lights glared off his shaved bald head and dark sunglasses. He screamed and the crowed cheered.

Posted By Amanda On 05.16.2013 @ 5:32 am

You are my wafer, the body that I consume and fill myself with You are the wine that I get drunk off of intoxicated with your everything Communion isn’t so holy

Posted By Amanda On 05.22.2013 @ 7:19 pm

Her lipstick was auburn. My shirt was auburn. The leaves on the ground were auburn. For some reason, this color could not get out of my mind, and everywhere I went all I could think of was auburn.

Posted By Amanda On 05.12.2013 @ 7:11 pm

She was my everything. She was always there for me, a stable support I could rely on in tough times. She always seemed to have the words of wisdom I needed to pull through. That is, until we walked along side the bridge one night. She got on top of the railing, told me that celestial beings were going to save her, and she jumped.

Posted By Amanda On 05.11.2013 @ 7:27 pm

I took the bar in my hand. It was green and smelled of pine needles and lemon, it smelled fresh. I sat up and took my dripping black bottomed foot in my left hand and scrubbed my foot with the soap with the other. How did my feet get to black you ask, well, that’s another story.

Posted By Amanda On 05.10.2013 @ 5:28 am

I tried to wash away my worries. I got into the shower, picked up the soap, and my mind wandered. I thought about endless possibilities in the shower. I thought about my past, my present, my future. It was the only place I felt at peace. I could think about all these things without feeling out in the open. I was alone, enclosed. As I continued to think, I soaked up the warm water. Alone at last.

Posted By Amanda On 05.10.2013 @ 4:53 am

I used soap to wash every part of my body that you touched. I scrubbed the skin over and over and over and over and over and over again but I could still feel your existence coating every layer. Once I was sure that the soap was ineffective, I tried sodium hydroxide. At least the pain was enough to distract me, though it still did not get rid of you.

Posted By Amanda On 05.09.2013 @ 1:02 pm

I had beer as my blood, those days after you left me. All I inhaled, exhaled was beer. All that circulated around my body was beer. After a while, the beer was all gone. And I was broke. So all that there was left in my body was you.

Posted By Amanda On 05.07.2013 @ 3:43 pm