Entries By delilah
Displaying 1 To 30 Of 201 Entries
is it taboo to want real, all encompassing passionate love with just one other person? I have this feeling that all i want is you, but when I’m with you I feel like you’re suffocating me. This can’t be right, to have this overwhelming urgency to need something that only hurts you and makes you feel so little.Posted By Delilah On 05.14.2013 @ 6:51 pm
The student quietly leaned over to show her friend the place. She also whispers answers in his ear so he doesn’t get embarrassed in front of anyone. When he misses what the teacher said, She’ll tell him the missing information. The teacher sees and knows all of this. She lets her get away with it though. Who was teaching whom?Posted By delilah On 11.06.2012 @ 8:01 pm
Steps. Big steps. Small Steps. I have a goal. I have a dream. How do I get there? Steps. Big steps. Small steps. It’s still to far. Smaller steps. It’s close, but I can’t touch it. It’s to hard. Even smaller. I’m almost there. A big step will make me go to far. Baby steps.Posted By delilah On 11.01.2012 @ 4:09 pm
It didn’t matter what I did in the past. It didn’t matter what I was likely to do in the future. It didn’t matter I was likely to mess up, to do all the mistakes of yesterday and yesteryear. What mattered was that I was here, here, living in today. That I could do something I didn’t do yesterday. And with that I began my day.Posted By Delilah On 09.20.2012 @ 4:09 pm
I planted the seed in the ground. I tended to it daily. I weeded when the little green leaves peaked up from underneath the earth’s surface. I watered when I saw there was going to be no rain for the day. I turned over the soil so my little plant could grow. And it did. Breaking the dirt and reaching for the sunlight. It was a miracle.Posted By delilah On 09.03.2012 @ 8:33 pm
I’ve had this word before. I’ve had a crew before too.. but it seems that they never last for one reason or another. Maybe I’m to blame, but often times it’s the dynamics of the others that ends the crew. Honestly, I feel a lot better not being tied to some sort of crew… Relationships with a select few are more meaningful And being alone can be much more comfortable.Posted By Delilah On 07.15.2012 @ 2:12 pm
Like a turbine, there was reaction that was set of when subjected to pressure… i always tell him, don’t ask for “what I was thinking” if you can’t endure hearing it – - – yet I naively tell him, thinking his reaction will bring me comfort & understanding instead, under pressure, he steams – in his anger – stems my distrust and i grow cold.Posted By Delilah On 07.09.2012 @ 6:26 pm
Saturday morning hangover. Friday I spend the night trying to drink away all that built up angst and emotions I hid away during the week. Trying to cleanse myself by poisoning my body with alcohol and drugs. Come Saturday, it all hits me like an 18 wheeler truck and lingers until it’s time for round two.Posted By Delilah On 06.29.2012 @ 2:33 pm
She was never too keen on the situation. It always seemed like such a bad idea, even though it felt so right… yet everything got so messy when all of the lies and secrets came out. Why couldn’t things be as simple as they seemed when they were together? it was so fucked up but so right.Posted By Delilah On 06.18.2012 @ 10:31 pm
With a key to a house that she doesn’t own, she let’s herself in to somewhere she isn’t welcomed. Listen to her trampling around upstairs. Big and stupid as a horse. What man could love that? Why would he let her in his bed?.. Why is she here in my house? Why the fuck doesn’t she leave me alone.Posted By Delilah On 06.11.2012 @ 10:15 am
There is so much racket when you are around. I was off in my own world, happily enjoying what we had without the interruptions & racket you bring. Then you came by and reminded me of all the bad, all the reasons I don’t trust him or you. The reason tht I tell myself I need to get out of this. Because you succesfully made something I felt was safe and whole to be a big lie, once already. I shouldn’t be so dumb to believe it again.Posted By Delilah On 06.11.2012 @ 10:12 am
trying to separate is the hardest part. the separation of our friendship, our sexual life, our past. where to begin is the hardest part. how to separate one thing without giving up everything else? I can end the sex but how do I end the love? how do I keep a friendship as only a friendship, when every time I see you I want to hold you and tell you I love you… it seems the only way to separate is to make a clean cut, no more friendship – give it all up. are you ready for this? am i?Posted By Delilah On 05.01.2012 @ 8:28 pm
I couldn’t dance. Not that I wasn’t able to, I used to be a wonderful dancer, but I couldn’t anymore. Dancing involved to much physical contact. But yet I felt drawn to him. When I was with him, I had a sliver of me that left when I was with anybody else. When I was with him, I felt human.Posted By delilah On 04.28.2012 @ 8:36 pm
Nanno clapped her hands, even though we wished she didn’t. They were chapped and raw, and as I watched, I sew more cracks appeared. Why was she putting herself through pain? Then I understood. It wasn’t pain. It was joy, watching her great-grandaughter, my Natalia, perform her act for the talent show in Nanno’s native language- Italian.Posted By delilah On 04.24.2012 @ 7:44 pm
Who is to judge what is beautiful. If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, how is it fair to set a young girl on a stage – grading her beauty with a number 1-10. Beauty is so much more versatile than that. Why are young people today being taught that beauty is purely based on how you present yourself as an ideal that others want you to be and judge you on if you don’t match their ideal? Beauty is all around us in our daily life, our ideas, our thoughts… not just in the mirror we stare into. Why isn’t that taught anymore?Posted By Delilah On 03.19.2012 @ 11:36 am
The duration of my life I have been a good person, I’m caring and sweet – I want the best for others, I want to help people and I want to be loyal, true and there in any way I can for my friends and lover. I put others before myself but also know my limits.
Yet… at these other times, some switch hits – some change happens, I don’t know what it is – partly it is the addict in me and partly it is me just losing my inhibitions and doing what I want – for once not caring how it will make others feel.
Even though the next morning I will be crying, beating myself up and having anxiety attacks over my inability to think of my impulsive actions. Battling with these two polar opposite personalities hurts, tears me apart and makes me question everything about who I am.
I would be happy to be either one of these personalities, even if it was the “bad” side of me… At least then I would know what to expect.Posted By Delilah On 03.14.2012 @ 11:06 pm
the crew is gone, diminished over time. we talk every once in awhile, maybe a text or a quick visit. but it all seems so unnatural and uncomfortable… not like it once was before. we all once used to be so tight, sharing drinks, laughs, stories, our past, & our beds… but we slowly moved away from each other, physically and emotionally. i wanted to move on from them all but sometimes i miss those i left in the past. — not who they are now but who they were to me then.Posted By Delilah On 02.29.2012 @ 6:03 pm
I don’t know how to get out, I’ve been wondering in this maze for far too long it feels – but I love it. The familiar paths I retrace over and over… the comfort of knowing that this is mine, this is what I want, that I’m here for a reason and i don’t really want to leave. But I’m lost. Sometimes it all feels so overwhelming, like I’ve been trapped – it’s taken over my ability to rationalize. Am I really happy here? Or do I want out?Posted By Delilah On 02.12.2012 @ 7:02 pm