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I guess I have to behave myself now. I guess everything that I’ve ever learned has to be tweaked, because being polite isn’t enough. There is more to it than that. You need grace. You need poise. You need to know which fork to use. Yes, behaving has never been enough. You need…etiquette?

Posted By Jen On 07.13.2011 @ 6:49 pm

Something that bothers you and continues to nag at your soul. It ‘plagues’ me knowing that life isn’t as beautiful as I thought it would be. I just want to be happy. Happiness is supposedly as contagious as the plague I have also heard….so noun and verb I suppose..

Posted By jen On 07.13.2011 @ 12:45 am

Expectations are pretty dangerous. They get your hopes up. Then….you begin to wait. And it’s really the waiting that kills you. You wait and wait and wait in anticipation. And then you realize, you never get what you expect. And then disappointment kicks in. So maybe the best thing you can do is just…walk into something expecting nothing.

Posted By Jen On 07.09.2011 @ 7:05 pm

Well today I was expecting dad to come home. He….he didn’t. But that’s okay. He never does. I always get my hopes up a little too high. Maybe next time he will make the time to see me. I hope. It’s been too long. He…knows I’m waiting.

Posted By Jen On 07.09.2011 @ 6:55 pm

I hate that people ask “are you expecting” when you are pregant. Expecting a car? a puppy? for the mail? Everyone is expecting something. Pregnant is expecting baby, sure, but I always hated that phrasing. I felt like a little kid waiting for a mail man.

Posted By Jen On 07.09.2011 @ 6:09 pm

I hate doing chores. They’re really annoying. Washing the dishes is the worst chore, because it makes your hands all slimy and the gloves smell bad even if you wash your hands with soap a billion time after. Plus the water gets all over your shirt and the floor and maybe I’m really bad at washing dishes, but it seems like a lot more trouble than it’s worth. Paper plates are where it’s at, don’t lie. You do it too. We all do. Laundry isn’t so bad, though. Folding it is sort of zen, and it’s nice to have warm, clean clothes to put on.

Posted By Jen On 07.08.2011 @ 11:52 am

maroon on an island we are how are we ever going get off the island help help please God please don’t leave us hear our plea

Posted By jen On 07.07.2011 @ 6:00 pm

enter stage left. The entire cast was on stage, and I could feel my skirt slipping. That moment of extreeme panic as you grimice in a smile and take your second bow, knowing that the third and final could be terminal. Nope, made it through the third bow and now just to do an awkward shimmy waddle walk off stage with my left hand holding the waistline. I swear this time I am trough with budget charity shows!

Posted By Jen On 07.07.2011 @ 5:56 am

I’ve already written about cast today, but I wanted to try again. I’m not exactly sure wheat to write ow though… I’m suddenly struck with the urge to sing songs from the Glee Cast (don’t judge me people) and I think I’ll do just what as soon as my minute is over.

Posted By Jen On 07.06.2011 @ 12:42 pm

A friend once said she wanted to like Mike Rowe (from Dirty Jobs fame) from “stem to stern.” I laughed repeatedly. Then made my sons turn on that show because she was dead on. What is it about a man with serious hands-on skills? That we feel safe with them? Or just know that something will get fixed without drama…whatever it is, yum.

Posted By Jen On 07.05.2011 @ 3:19 pm

be greatful for what you are given she said. I thought it was a curse not a gift, thats what given means isn’t it? What did I know, she was the elder, she had lived with this much longer than I had but who in their right mind wants to find out that they are different on their 16th birthday. At 16 all you want to do is fit in, not feel the accute pain of the elements.

Posted By Jen On 07.03.2011 @ 5:31 am

It’s a given. Moving sucks little green frogs. It turns your life upside down and inside out and makes you weep for the good ol’ days of not packing your life into cardboard squares. Can’t wait for this to be over.

Posted By Jen On 07.02.2011 @ 6:31 pm

what have humans given the world? nothing. the world was once a beautiful, pure, unadulterated place where life and everything else on it was in balance. but because of human greed and inconsideration, we’ve disrupted that balance. in the end, what we will have given the world is its death.

Posted By jen On 07.02.2011 @ 4:01 pm

honesty is probably the best thing to find in a person. in a friend or companion, you need honesty to develop trust, you need trust to develop love…whats the world without love…so whats the world without trust? think about it, honestly…

Posted By jen On 06.30.2011 @ 7:14 pm

To be honest, I’m rather sick of this whole moving thing. I swear, I’m never.moving.again. Honestly. Bury out back, I ain’t suffering through this crap again.

Then again, I’ve said that before. How honest was I then?

About as much as now. But I really mean it this time.

Really.

Posted By Jen On 06.30.2011 @ 12:08 pm

Wade in the water, wade in the water children, wade in the water….

Posted By Jen On 06.30.2011 @ 2:09 am

There’s nothing like a calm, flowing river in which to dabble your feet, go tubing, splash a bit in the hot summer sun. But when the river gets angry, stay away. Do not wade. Do not tube. Do.Not.Enter. For an angry river just does not want company.

Posted By Jen On 06.29.2011 @ 6:16 pm

its just a little crush, its not like I faint every time we touch, its just a little crush …. its just some little thing, a crush, not like everything I do depends on you. its just a little crush.

Posted By Jen On 06.29.2011 @ 6:07 am

I will crush my opponents. I will tear them down and leave them hanging by bear threads. But that’s more than just crush right?

There’s that feeling when you see him. The way your stomach feels as though you’ve swallowed a thousand butterflies and your blood is made of fire, not…blood. The way your cheeks burn and you wish you had ice. Or at least…wish you could turn your head. But he draws your gaze.

Posted By Jen On 06.28.2011 @ 8:03 pm

Erotic. Sex. Desire. Sometimes it has nothing to do with sex. Some people lust after possessions. It’s a hungry desire to fulfill something carnal. Gratification of the flesh. A word with many taboos, but also filled with curiosity. Voyeurism. Hollywood.

Posted By jen On 06.27.2011 @ 6:35 pm

Erotic. Sex. Desire. Sometimes it has nothing to do with sex. Some people lust after possessions. It’s a hungry desire to fulfill something carnal. Gratification of the flesh.

Posted By jen On 06.27.2011 @ 6:26 pm

It was lust at first site. Four walls, a skylight, stainless steel appliances. I.Want. And then the house inspection showed a new roof was needed, extensive wood rot…at what price house lust? You can always buy appliances later.

Posted By Jen On 06.27.2011 @ 5:44 pm

Not everyone has them. Pity. More need them than not. How else can you chew your food? Bagels especially. Wait, not molars? My bad…

Posted By Jen On 06.26.2011 @ 3:31 pm

the antlers were tiny on my head, everyones else were bigger i felt so silly then my dad came up to me and said dont worry, it makes you look cute! then he laughed, during the night i cut off his antlers and then said HA whos cute now!

Posted By Jen On 06.26.2011 @ 7:49 am

The hats of the dear. The weapon of the dear.

Posted By Jen On 06.25.2011 @ 9:48 pm

History. We all have history. I was just thinking about history the other day and how ironic it is when people refer to “historical facts”. The truth is that as time passes, facts become so distorted and details are lost in the dust and what we take for granted as fact is merely a shadow of the truth it was when it occurred. I think about how people read history and interpret history and I know that these events are not facts, they are merely observations.

Posted By Jen On 06.23.2011 @ 11:52 am

Intense. How intense is the pain? I can remember the contractions when I was in labor with Colden. I remember someone telling me that the pain of those contractions would be intense, and intense they were. It was like I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, when a contraction came on. At one point while we were talking to the anesthesiologist before the c-section, he said something to me and I didn’t reply. He asked if I was listening, and my doula and my husband had to assure him that I heard everything he said but that I was just dealing with the intense contractions through my hypnobirthing meditation. That was the most intense pain I’ve ever felt. It went through my entire being.

Posted By Jen On 06.22.2011 @ 12:27 pm

Cells…solitary. Solitary confinement. These words rang and echoed through my mind. Why was I in here? I looked around at the small box, feeling the walls start to close in on me. The cold from the cement floor seeped through my jeans, penetrating and freezing my blood. I put my head in my hands, shivering slightly. What had I done? Why was I here?

Suddenly, the lights turned off.

Posted By Jen On 06.21.2011 @ 7:42 pm

I predict the future, I create what I predict and that is what I deserve. Positive affirmations do work look at what i have today, come from the slums and now I have a house that keeps me warm, a car that is reliable and a family that is perfect. I predict my greatest accomplishment will be in the smiles of my children

Posted By Jen On 06.21.2011 @ 4:53 am

he held me in his arms, this was all wrong and I knew it but I so wanted it, I wanted it more than I had ever wanted to be held in my life. The way he touched me made me ache for more than just a touch how the hell was I ever going to face my husband and tell him I was in love with his best friend.

Posted By Jen On 06.20.2011 @ 4:56 am