Entries By lizziface
Displaying 1 To 23 Of 23 Entries
oh, romeo… go fuck yourself.
i’ve got better things to do than sit around here drowning in an a love and life never realized with someone like you.
no more waiting up here – i’d rather jump off of this thing and soar with flight driven by my own imaginary, albeit, broken wings.
too long i’ve spent my life dreaming and writing of a tragical, magical love like the one you speak of. too long i’ve wasted my energy on men who i wished would be your doppelganger.
i don’t want to wear these tired eyes, or speak these tired lines anymore… i want a new love story. one that doesn’t end in death or pain or never again.Posted By lizziface On 05.11.2009 @ 4:34 pm
oh you splendidly sweet blocks of cold air and open space… waiting – begging me to fill you in with pencil-scribbled mistakes…
stage blocking that leaves clocks tick, tock- tocking… outlining time in smooth, cubicle lines… a marching band formation just waiting to be the climax of my geometrical masturbation…
marking spots with x’s and dots… stacking up shapes like bricks layered in between superhero capes…
cold and empty, my graph paper pleasure box… pardon me… i’ve gotta go get my rocks off.Posted By lizziface On 03.19.2009 @ 7:38 pm
wrap it up, up, up and around that neck and collarbones that peek out when you cringe or turn your head or clench your teeth together so tightly or giggle until everyone is laughing along with you. cover up that vulnerability so i can’t see it anymore, because every time i do i want to dance lightly over it with my lips and feel it in between my hips and love you like you never loved me back.Posted By lizziface On 07.17.2008 @ 12:43 pm
my fingers are like ghosts as they float over these keys. haunting what i used to love and who i used to be. “too concerned with the worlds on the outside…” is he right? has the inside of me died? did i kill it just like he killed my love for him? without water we do not grow. without practice we loose muscle memory. without activity we grow soft. lazy. boring. oh these keys that used to bleed for me now only dance for facebook and online dating. i am embarrassed. i am ashamed. but i am not dead yet.Posted By lizziface On 03.08.2009 @ 8:51 pm
the walls wax logistical and close in on me, sitting here squished with all of these hopes and dreams.
no one seems to follow through, it seems. not even me, unless you base your results on in con sisten cy.
the calendar hangs time in pretty little cubes. and one by one, these boxes ensue. blocked out. fucked up. gone.
do we write things down just to make sure something is left behind?Posted By lizziface On 11.17.2008 @ 9:53 am
“i can teleport,” i told them.
it’s really the only way to explain how i am covering so much ground in so many different areas… seemingly simultaniously.
one of my bosses actually called me bohemian yesterday – without any tongue in cheek action at all. genuine.
… it may have been the best compliment of my life.Posted By lizziface On 10.23.2008 @ 4:36 am
roll me down these curves covered in stainless steel blades on parade; slicing my skin with every inch traveled in and over and through a lot more than any of us would like to admit. i am reminded that if you never reach the top, you don’t get the view. but right now i have no use for climbing anything other than the trees i planted in my dreams some time ago, having ignored them in lieu of shiny, pretty things that tempted me with a love that may not really exist.Posted By lizziface On 10.05.2008 @ 10:13 pm
i want to lie and say that i’m excited. to say that i am hopeful. to say that it feels different this time. i want to say all those things. i want to mean them.
but i am not happy. i am not excited. i am just calm. quiet. afraid to speak. to jinx. to lose this chance. this opportunity to see.
i feel like my heart won’t release completely until i get my own little duckies in a row. until i can be what he needs. what he deserves. i want to be what HE deserves.
… this isn’t about what i want anymore.Posted By lizziface On 08.26.2008 @ 8:31 pm
where is this going? what are we doing? is this a bubble, just asking to be popped… or is it something scarily, sanely, brilliantly real? something that is just, for once, going to work? all i’m asking is for a little clarity. all i’m asking for is a chance NOT to screw myself over again.Posted By lizziface On 08.18.2008 @ 8:00 pm
swift flight; soft goodbyes. they escape quickly out of the corners of my mouth as i smile away all of the coquetries that danced between our lips and jumped cannonballs off our finger tips. plunge deep, dark — into pools of liquefied sugar cubes; hot, buttered, melted fools feel like they sprout wings (amongst other things).Posted By lizziface On 09.24.2008 @ 6:53 am
no, no. this negativity i am not proud of. this doubt and speculation. i am ruining this. i am desperately searching for a reason not to like him more than he likes me. for a reason to stay in control. to not be so fucking vulnerable. i am terrified of getting hurt again. but this time… this time if it doesn’t work… i will actually lose a good man.Posted By lizziface On 09.17.2008 @ 5:35 pm
they seem to grow in abundance around here. i am somehow — simultaneously, gratefully, inspired and divinely jealous; breathing in the stink of their petals, some flawed, yet all imperfectly, beautifully breathtaking. this little garden cultivated in my heart and printed on the pages of the diary at the back of my mind; the soil is moist and dark and our roots tickle each other. We struggle to grow, ache to bloom, and let the bumble bees share our nectar as they buzz from blog to blog.Posted By lizziface On 09.10.2008 @ 6:12 pm
petal by petal, this game we play with ourselves. trying to control the feelings of someone else. we tug in hopes of drowning out the fear of the unknown. that fifty percent chance of rejection and failure. we desperately plead with the cosmos to give us hat we THINK we want. instead of appreciating what we are feeling and giving to someone else… it always comes back to whether or not we are getting anything out of it.
oopsy.Posted By lizziface On 06.13.2008 @ 9:30 am
i think about it and you and i and us every single day. i think about what you chose over me and the monster that i became. about how i could never join you in that world… because you wouldn’t let me. how you pegged me into the role of this innocent little girl and how you used that shit to try and escape me. you somehow kept it just out of reach and held it against me… all at the same time. you told me everything i had ever been paranoid about was true. and i may never be able to forgive you — no — forgive myself for trying to love you anyway. eventhough i knew it wasn’t right.Posted By lizziface On 06.08.2008 @ 10:32 am
thinking of time longer than i’ll ever see and things bigger than i’ll ever be. it makes me hope that this isn’t it. that there isn’t just one chance. that it is all connected. that the puzzle is so big that we need more than one go-round to piece it all together.Posted By lizziface On 06.05.2008 @ 12:42 pm
cultivated and nurtured over time, i was the caretaker to a mind satisfied only when chasing. running. trying too hard to conquer something i had no business fighting for.
relearning how to live, breathe and pine for something more than cat and mouse… this lioness is weary.
i see myself still perpetuating the pattern. and after the high wears off, i am left guilty knowing that i have merely pushed what i really need farther away from me.Posted By lizziface On 06.02.2008 @ 11:37 am
my love, my life… my everything. something so simple: a piece of fabric on a pole. i am lucky to have stumbled upon this most animate of inanimate objects. i still don’t quite know how it became the only thing that keeps me optimistic. that keeps me going. that reminds me that i am strong, beautiful, creative and something worth sweating, bleeding, crying and working hard for. no, i don’t know how or why… but i am grateful. and i will spin until i can’t anymore.Posted By lizziface On 01.01.1970 @ 12:00 am
whenever someone says they don’t like people who “try” to be deep i am instantly offended. because how can you really tell if someone is “trying” to be deep, or if they really just are? i mean, don’t we all have the capacity? isn’t it just a choice as to whether or not we take things on surface level, or if we read between the lines?Posted By lizziface On 06.19.2008 @ 9:07 am