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Tommy played the bongos. He was really good at tapping out a groove.

Stephanie M. had huge bongos. She never wore a bra.

Tommy stopped playing the musical bongos, and decided to play with Stephanie’s bongos.

Posted By vladdytrout On 04.24.2010 @ 11:14 pm

“We must find the Feminum,” said Heinrich.

“Yes, we must,” agreed Stutz.

Feminum, you see, is that rare mineral found only on Paradise Island. Wonder Woman’s bullet-resistant bracelets are made from Feminum.

A most valuable mineral it is.

Posted By vladdytrout On 04.23.2010 @ 8:24 pm

“You have a face like a potato,” said Kyle.

“Well, your dick looks like a circus peanut,” said Amanda.

Then Amanda punched Kyle in the gut. Kyle fell to the ground.

“Who is the freak now, a**hole?” asked Amanda.

Posted By vladdytrout On 04.17.2010 @ 11:00 am

Stacy wanted to eat a baked potato. Bill wanted a pizza. Stacy baked herself a potato. Bill microwaved a personal pizza. They ate their food and then walked outside. The mothership was hovering over their heads.

Posted By vladdytrout On 04.16.2010 @ 7:53 pm

“Please put your drink on the coaster,” said Jill.

Bob refused to use the coaster. He would always put his cold beer can directly onto the table.

“Use the coaster!” said Jill.

One day, Jill shoved a knife through his chest. Bob died. His face had fallen onto the coaster.

Posted By vladdytrout On 04.15.2010 @ 8:39 pm

Arnie found a really cool wig on the ground out front of his accountant’s office. Arnie slapped the wig upon his head. He looked in the reflection of a car’s side view mirror. He looked darned good. He walked away, a happy man.

Posted By vladdytrout On 04.11.2010 @ 6:21 pm

So you want to write a paperback book, do ya? Well, all I gotta tells ya is to throw in a bunch of pasty, scrawny whiny boy vampires and a bunch of pasty, whiny, scrawny girls and – badda bing- bestseller!!

Posted By vladdytrout On 04.09.2010 @ 11:45 am

The Gov. demanded to hear the FBI tape recordings of his phone calls. “I wanna hear them,” the Gov said. “I know what I said. But I want to hear their version of it.” The Gov. was soon indicted on charges of having really bad, goofy looking hair. He would eventually end up on a reality show hosted by a billionaire with really bad, goofy hair. That’s life.

Posted By vladdytrout On 04.11.2010 @ 5:28 am

Well, Philip, you done it again. While your band had recorded its finest work ever, you had to go and erase the master tape recording. But that’s cool, because we know that you, Philip, were not happy with the band’s results.

Posted By vladdytrout On 01.01.1970 @ 12:00 am

The two men walked into the church. The men demanded to speak directly to God. One man, known only as the Holy One, was quite vocal. He screamed at the top of his lungs. A church official asked if there was a problem. The Holy One said

Posted By vladdytrout On 04.08.2010 @ 8:10 pm

Carl was cranky. He had only three hours sleep last night and today he must perform open heart surgery. But Carl was always cranky. Poor guy.

Posted By vladdytrout On 04.04.2010 @ 1:39 am

Stacy loved the fashion industry. She loved to design clothes. Her problem was her fear of fabric. Strange phobia for someone with dreams of landing a job in fashion to have. But, there it is.

Posted By vladdytrout On 04.03.2010 @ 4:02 pm

Sally Stevens always saw the humor in any situation. Take for example the time the Russkies dropped an A-bomb on the outskirts of her home town. She saw the humor in that situation. Sally Stevens was always the life of the party. Even during the apocalypse.

Posted By vladdytrout On 04.02.2010 @ 6:04 am

I said to myself, “You nerd! How could you forget that today is Spock’s birthday?” So, I then gave myself the Vulcan nerve pinch and then collapse…

Posted By vladdytrout On 03.13.2010 @ 6:43 pm

He wished he had a neck. Other people have necks, but he didn’t have one. He wasn’t a fat man. It was just a twist of fate that his normal sized head sat on his shoulders, with no neck support.

Posted By vladdytrout On 03.20.2010 @ 3:00 pm

Bob went home. He was alone in the city, but he was with friends back home. The lake was his home. He crawled on his hands and knees and slide into the water

Posted By vladdytrout On 03.21.2010 @ 9:31 am

Bob throw his iPhone into the time portal. He hoped that Ugg, the caveman, would know what to do with iPhone. Too bad Bob forgot that there were no cellphone signals in the year 350,000 BC!

Posted By vladdytrout On 03.23.2010 @ 5:26 pm

Bob wandered into the cave. He was warned to stay away from the cave. He refused to stay away from the cave. inside the cave he found a giant stone head. the head was round, with only large eyes and a mouth. The mouth moved. The stone head told Bob to leave the cave

Posted By vladdytrout On 03.27.2010 @ 5:42 pm

Sarah fell through a time portal and ended up in the 5th century B.C. She was upset for she had forgotten to bring along a camera. How tragic.

Posted By vladdytrout On 03.27.2010 @ 10:48 pm

Sandy, a tiny bunny, hopped over a log and landed onto a field of yellow grass. Sandy, the tiny bunny, had found herself in the land of Merkon, the Merciless. Sandy turned around and hopped back into the real world.

Posted By vladdytrout On 03.29.2010 @ 6:46 am

Walter wan through the aisles of the library. He needed to find that audio clip. Unfortunately that clip isn’t on computer but on an old fashioned cassette. That audio clip would prove who killed JFK!

Posted By vladdytrout On 03.29.2010 @ 10:34 pm

Sally loved boxing. She was all for it when I said I wanted to be a boxer. Boxing became my life. Eventually Sally left me for a stockbroker and I ended up with a messed up face, jaw wired shut for a year. But hey, anything for a girl, right?

Posted By vladdytrout On 03.31.2010 @ 3:43 pm

Tom and Beau decided they had to settle their feud by boxing. So they boxed. The boxing match lasted 12 seconds. Tom fell to the ground. Beau was champion. Then they both exploded.

Posted By vladdytrout On 03.31.2010 @ 5:06 am

Susan was tired of her boring, flat, lifeless hair. So, one day she mustered up the courage to go to the famous Jonathan Salon to get a new hairdo. She was happy with the result. Jonathan Antin gave her a thumbs up and said of her hairdo, “It’s bangin’!” Granted the bill came out to $650 but Susan didn’t care. She was happy with her bangin’ hairdo.

Posted By vladdytrout On 04.01.2010 @ 5:44 am