I move ahead. My heart racing. My heart pacing against my chest. I had to tell him the truth. He needed to know the truth. Honestly, I am afraid. That’s why I held the secret from him for so long.
Ahead of me, is limitless amount of possibility. My future is abundant — everything you can envision is possible right now. It is only the beginning; a new page in a brand new chapter. I do not fear for what’s ahead of myself, I swim in an never-ending sea of excitement.
My mind is set on fifteen hour long drives through cornfields and shrubbery, my mind is set on you. Despite everything, I love the way you say my name like a prayer and the way it’s laced with disgust. Your feelings are wildfire, and I’m a forest.
the words i said
last night
kept me awake
last
night
how they smirked
how they rolled their eyes
how they judged me
how I lied
anxiety attacks all too late in the evening
friends become enemies
a heart pounds
look ahead is to look behind
and after all is said
it’s like nothing’s worth trying.
I had to go on. Continue with everything. Life was moving at a pace I couldn’t keep up with. But I had the willpower. I had the longing for this direction I was going in. I was moving forward. Getting ahead.
Shoes beat the road
In a weird stacatto
Of hard breaths and a catch
That starts deep in the throat.
Tripping feet and bloodless
Fingertips
Try catch the cross beams
Of passing cars
But with a drop,
Light curves over lips and hip and hair
And the “no entry” sign ahead
Blinks red and white
and blue
Before all sound stops.
It never fails. Just when you think you have made progress, the past jumps back in front of you to block your way. It is probably my own fault though because I allow it to happen. What I don’t understand is, how do you stop it? I know how I am and I know that I always end up doing the same thing over and over again. I can’t seem to change my behavior. Trust is so hard for me and I constantly think of what is going to happen next. I just assume that the past is going to happen in the future. Is it my fate? Am I destined to continuously repeat the same story over and over again? Although, there are a few changes. The overall situation feels 100% better, yet, I still get the feeling that there are lies in every truth. Sadly, every time I get this feeling, the one where I feel something is being kept secret from me, I am always right. Another thing I don’t get it, how do I always find out about it? Sometimes, I am not even trying; it just happens. Perhaps, this is a game and the bet is on me and how I will decide what to so with the information. I just know that I can’t look forward and jump to conclusions about my future. I must live day by day; because, looking ahead has only hurt me in the end. I can’t blame them can I? It’s my fault for believing them and t’s only when I fall hard for them do I realize they are all the same. I’ll always be second choice.
Thinking ahead and looking behind; both ideas linked in the psyche of all individuals limited by mortality of time. Death and life existing in both and being represented in both. Conflicting and complementing, paradoxically linked, yet considered separately.
“Will you just dance with me?” he asks over the pumping music. I shake my head. “You go ahead.” I smile and wave my arm toward the crowd. Smiling back and rolling his eyes, he extends his hand. “You can’t run forever, Indie.
Moving ahead was what he needed to do. “Move on,” Mom had said. “She was never good enough for you. Especially once she dumped you. You need to move ahead, away from it.” “Okay, it’ll be hard, but okay,” I replied, hanging my head low and walking up to my room.
Move ahead. Stop drop and underestimate yourself until you finally reach the bottom of the whole stupid situation. She’s a hollow one, that girl. Unwind about it a little bit, I swear, getting ahead is just a matter of time and a matter of not giving up.
Ahead of the race, Jack ran to where the finish line was, hoping to win. He needed to be far ahead. He needed money for his Mom’s surgery. If he didn’t win, she’d surely die from Cervical Cancer. And obviously, he didn’t want that. He needed to get further ahead, winning was the only option he had. She couldn’t die.
I keep on moving ahead nmatter the obstucless that I meet along the way. The power of forging ahead enablees an individual to overcome the barriers and limitations of doubt, fear and weakness. I remember my brothers words when he was bteaching me how to ride a bicycle; He kept on saying always look ahead, never look down or behind. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I managed ribalancing for a little more than a 100 meters.
Before I learnt of this secret I couldn’t make even 1 meter before falling down due to fear of heights
The road ahead of you is one with many choices. The choice that you make can change your forever. Or, it could change nothing at all. Forever isn’t ahead for everyone so simply be happy you made it this far. Thank you for today.
college, and i have a long road ahead of me. The ideas of this scare me. I have my whole life ahead of me yet it could be taken away at any moment. So in reality I might have nothing ahead of me at all. Life is too short. But it is well worth looking ahead for the hope of tomorrow.
Up ahead there was a light. Not just any light. A small, dark light. How can you have a dark light, you ask? I don’t know. It was black. Not a blacklight. Blackness. It drew the light in. It didn’t radiate light, but sucked it in. That’s a kind of light, after all. An inverse-light. A non-light. A negative-light. I tried to touch it, but I don’t know if I did. I just saw non-me touching non-light. Which is to say, I saw nothing at all.
Ahead there was a long and loney road that was covered in mist. There was a deer and it looked up at my with it’s large and doey eyes. It was as if it could see into my soul, see my being. I felt somewhat intimidated and wanted to run away from it but it’s gaze held me there as if I was chained to the floor. My breathing became heavy and I just remember darkness.
I press onward through the snowy landscape, my legs aching and my fingers frozen against my walking stick. I know my time has come, but I refuse to give in. If this is the end, I welcome it, but I will move ahead.
Go ahead he said – divorce me. We can go our seperate ways. Just find a place to live and provide for yourself even thought you have been staying home for the past 17 years and have no means of supporting yourself. I will take my millions and you can go live in a box somewhere. Go ahead he said.
I was ahead in this race. A race I can’t describe myself, but the word life does so well. I was ahead of everyone when I ran on smoothed cement, but when it came to rocky terrain, behind was the only thing I was.
That’s what she said to me that day, once, long ago.
I had hoped that it was true; that if I kept walking I would get there. But so far, my feet were blistered and my throat parched. I hoped that I would get there soon.
ahead is where i do not want to go. everyone says we must look into the future and i just cannot. my life ends with suicide i know it. i do not know when or how, but i just have so much trouble looking ahead. and i cannot explain this properly to my parents nor anyone i ever meet or talk to. they just tell me i’ll grow out of it. i won’t but they do not get it.
Go on ahead, she had said to me. I’ll catch up, she persisted to me. And yet here I was, alone in the mountains, sitting in a tent and waiting for her to appear from the blizzard.
Maybe she had fallen off a cliff. Or been eaten by a bear. Or maybe, in my addled yet spontaneously creative mind, she had fallen off a cliff while being eaten by a bear. That would make a good story. Or at least a very surreal Youtube viral video.
Well, we have no choice but to move. The current sweeps us, and it turns us backwards, but we have little choice. We must move. And there just around the bend we hear the cascades. Onward, men.
Get ahead. That’s what life is about, right? Getting ahead. Always having the upper hand on somebody else. They push you and push you and push you. Well they always forget to tell you that in the end, somebody will always be better than you. Ahead.
Look straight ahead, dark eyes fixed on something neither of us can see. Just keep on walking, dear, and act as though you can look right through me. I’m used to it.
He was behind. I mean that in the sense that he literally was a butt. But he didn’t want to be a butt, he wanted to make decisions and have eyes on him. He liked ears too, he wanted a pair of those. But you don’t need to hear what your rear fears, so the butt’s request for external organs was largely unheard.
please don’t walk quicker than me
four steps ahead
then five
i want to wait with you by the bus stop where the frost covers the weeds
and we can watch the sun rise in a slow red ascension
Well, we have no choice to move. the current sweeps us, and it turns us backwards, but we have little choice. We must move. and there just around the bend we hear the cascades. Onward, men
She went on ahead. Towards the crows of people. Closer to her destination, closer to finding him. She looks around for a sign of him anywhere. Her hear spun around the room that was filled with hot sweat people dancing across the floor.
My path is ahead, unknown, maybe even surreal.
I don’t know where I’m going,
Don’t know where to turn,
Don’t know what my obstacles shall be.
But what I do know is,
My destination shall be new;
My destination shall be real;
My destination shall be what I want;
My destination is waiting.
Look ahead, she thought to herself. Just look ahead. Yeah, it stings…the scrapes that map out her knobby knees, the thin trail of bright crimson dripping down her leg. She would get out of these woods, she wouldn’t let him have her. Even if it killed her.
I move ahead. My heart racing. My heart pacing against my chest. I had to tell him the truth. He needed to know the truth. Honestly, I am afraid. That’s why I held the secret from him for so long.
far away from me, always getting further, never ending, just ahead. never quite there. further than before. The prize at the end of the race. :)
Ahead of me, is limitless amount of possibility. My future is abundant — everything you can envision is possible right now. It is only the beginning; a new page in a brand new chapter. I do not fear for what’s ahead of myself, I swim in an never-ending sea of excitement.
My mind is set on fifteen hour long drives through cornfields and shrubbery, my mind is set on you. Despite everything, I love the way you say my name like a prayer and the way it’s laced with disgust. Your feelings are wildfire, and I’m a forest.
the words i said
last night
kept me awake
last
night
how they smirked
how they rolled their eyes
how they judged me
how I lied
anxiety attacks all too late in the evening
friends become enemies
a heart pounds
look ahead is to look behind
and after all is said
it’s like nothing’s worth trying.
I had to go on. Continue with everything. Life was moving at a pace I couldn’t keep up with. But I had the willpower. I had the longing for this direction I was going in. I was moving forward. Getting ahead.
Shoes beat the road
In a weird stacatto
Of hard breaths and a catch
That starts deep in the throat.
Tripping feet and bloodless
Fingertips
Try catch the cross beams
Of passing cars
But with a drop,
Light curves over lips and hip and hair
And the “no entry” sign ahead
Blinks red and white
and blue
Before all sound stops.
It never fails. Just when you think you have made progress, the past jumps back in front of you to block your way. It is probably my own fault though because I allow it to happen. What I don’t understand is, how do you stop it? I know how I am and I know that I always end up doing the same thing over and over again. I can’t seem to change my behavior. Trust is so hard for me and I constantly think of what is going to happen next. I just assume that the past is going to happen in the future. Is it my fate? Am I destined to continuously repeat the same story over and over again? Although, there are a few changes. The overall situation feels 100% better, yet, I still get the feeling that there are lies in every truth. Sadly, every time I get this feeling, the one where I feel something is being kept secret from me, I am always right. Another thing I don’t get it, how do I always find out about it? Sometimes, I am not even trying; it just happens. Perhaps, this is a game and the bet is on me and how I will decide what to so with the information. I just know that I can’t look forward and jump to conclusions about my future. I must live day by day; because, looking ahead has only hurt me in the end. I can’t blame them can I? It’s my fault for believing them and t’s only when I fall hard for them do I realize they are all the same. I’ll always be second choice.
Thinking ahead and looking behind; both ideas linked in the psyche of all individuals limited by mortality of time. Death and life existing in both and being represented in both. Conflicting and complementing, paradoxically linked, yet considered separately.
“Will you just dance with me?” he asks over the pumping music. I shake my head. “You go ahead.” I smile and wave my arm toward the crowd. Smiling back and rolling his eyes, he extends his hand. “You can’t run forever, Indie.
Give me your hand.”
Go ahead, I say, gesturing forward. You walk with a nod, subtle showing of thanks. Same pattern, different day.
Moving ahead was what he needed to do. “Move on,” Mom had said. “She was never good enough for you. Especially once she dumped you. You need to move ahead, away from it.” “Okay, it’ll be hard, but okay,” I replied, hanging my head low and walking up to my room.
Move ahead. Stop drop and underestimate yourself until you finally reach the bottom of the whole stupid situation. She’s a hollow one, that girl. Unwind about it a little bit, I swear, getting ahead is just a matter of time and a matter of not giving up.
Ahead of the race, Jack ran to where the finish line was, hoping to win. He needed to be far ahead. He needed money for his Mom’s surgery. If he didn’t win, she’d surely die from Cervical Cancer. And obviously, he didn’t want that. He needed to get further ahead, winning was the only option he had. She couldn’t die.
I keep on moving ahead nmatter the obstucless that I meet along the way. The power of forging ahead enablees an individual to overcome the barriers and limitations of doubt, fear and weakness. I remember my brothers words when he was bteaching me how to ride a bicycle; He kept on saying always look ahead, never look down or behind. I couldn’t believe my eyes when I managed ribalancing for a little more than a 100 meters.
Before I learnt of this secret I couldn’t make even 1 meter before falling down due to fear of heights
The road ahead of you is one with many choices. The choice that you make can change your forever. Or, it could change nothing at all. Forever isn’t ahead for everyone so simply be happy you made it this far. Thank you for today.
college, and i have a long road ahead of me. The ideas of this scare me. I have my whole life ahead of me yet it could be taken away at any moment. So in reality I might have nothing ahead of me at all. Life is too short. But it is well worth looking ahead for the hope of tomorrow.
Up ahead there was a light. Not just any light. A small, dark light. How can you have a dark light, you ask? I don’t know. It was black. Not a blacklight. Blackness. It drew the light in. It didn’t radiate light, but sucked it in. That’s a kind of light, after all. An inverse-light. A non-light. A negative-light. I tried to touch it, but I don’t know if I did. I just saw non-me touching non-light. Which is to say, I saw nothing at all.
and we’ll be there soon.
start to slow down.
have to deal with it.
Ahead there was a long and loney road that was covered in mist. There was a deer and it looked up at my with it’s large and doey eyes. It was as if it could see into my soul, see my being. I felt somewhat intimidated and wanted to run away from it but it’s gaze held me there as if I was chained to the floor. My breathing became heavy and I just remember darkness.
I press onward through the snowy landscape, my legs aching and my fingers frozen against my walking stick. I know my time has come, but I refuse to give in. If this is the end, I welcome it, but I will move ahead.
Go ahead he said – divorce me. We can go our seperate ways. Just find a place to live and provide for yourself even thought you have been staying home for the past 17 years and have no means of supporting yourself. I will take my millions and you can go live in a box somewhere. Go ahead he said.
I was ahead in this race. A race I can’t describe myself, but the word life does so well. I was ahead of everyone when I ran on smoothed cement, but when it came to rocky terrain, behind was the only thing I was.
Go ahead. Tell me you can’t reason with your heart. I’ve heard it all before.
go ahead. so what you want.
although your words might eat me up inside, and i’ll pretend that i’m okay.
but i’m not.
go ahead. keep talking. i won’t change who i am.
go ahead. i am ahead of you.
There is a tunnel ahead, it is dark and glumly. Will I enter in hopes of finding the light? Or will I run away? In fear of staying lost deep inside?
This word gives me hope.
Just keep walking. I promise it will get better.
That’s what she said to me that day, once, long ago.
I had hoped that it was true; that if I kept walking I would get there. But so far, my feet were blistered and my throat parched. I hoped that I would get there soon.
ahead is where i do not want to go. everyone says we must look into the future and i just cannot. my life ends with suicide i know it. i do not know when or how, but i just have so much trouble looking ahead. and i cannot explain this properly to my parents nor anyone i ever meet or talk to. they just tell me i’ll grow out of it. i won’t but they do not get it.
Go on ahead, she had said to me. I’ll catch up, she persisted to me. And yet here I was, alone in the mountains, sitting in a tent and waiting for her to appear from the blizzard.
Maybe she had fallen off a cliff. Or been eaten by a bear. Or maybe, in my addled yet spontaneously creative mind, she had fallen off a cliff while being eaten by a bear. That would make a good story. Or at least a very surreal Youtube viral video.
I lit the fire and sat by the frost.
Well, we have no choice but to move. The current sweeps us, and it turns us backwards, but we have little choice. We must move. And there just around the bend we hear the cascades. Onward, men.
Get ahead. That’s what life is about, right? Getting ahead. Always having the upper hand on somebody else. They push you and push you and push you. Well they always forget to tell you that in the end, somebody will always be better than you. Ahead.
Look straight ahead, dark eyes fixed on something neither of us can see. Just keep on walking, dear, and act as though you can look right through me. I’m used to it.
He was behind. I mean that in the sense that he literally was a butt. But he didn’t want to be a butt, he wanted to make decisions and have eyes on him. He liked ears too, he wanted a pair of those. But you don’t need to hear what your rear fears, so the butt’s request for external organs was largely unheard.
please don’t walk quicker than me
four steps ahead
then five
i want to wait with you by the bus stop where the frost covers the weeds
and we can watch the sun rise in a slow red ascension
Go ahead. Do whatever you want. I don’t care. At least, not anymore. Everyone’s racing by, ahead of me, but I don’t care anymore…
Well, we have no choice to move. the current sweeps us, and it turns us backwards, but we have little choice. We must move. and there just around the bend we hear the cascades. Onward, men
She went on ahead. Towards the crows of people. Closer to her destination, closer to finding him. She looks around for a sign of him anywhere. Her hear spun around the room that was filled with hot sweat people dancing across the floor.
My path is ahead, unknown, maybe even surreal.
I don’t know where I’m going,
Don’t know where to turn,
Don’t know what my obstacles shall be.
But what I do know is,
My destination shall be new;
My destination shall be real;
My destination shall be what I want;
My destination is waiting.
Look ahead, she thought to herself. Just look ahead. Yeah, it stings…the scrapes that map out her knobby knees, the thin trail of bright crimson dripping down her leg. She would get out of these woods, she wouldn’t let him have her. Even if it killed her.