• Delilah posted an update in the group Group logoThey said… 1 week, 4 days ago

    “I’m afraid that some times
    you’ll play lonely games too.
    Games you can’t win
    ’cause you’ll play against you.”
    - Dr. Seuss

  • Delilah posted an update 1 week, 4 days ago

    He told me, ”…that’s what you do when you make a mistake”.
    It hurt to realize I was the mistake.

  • Delilah commented on the post, taboo 1 week, 4 days ago

    is it taboo to want real, all encompassing passionate love with just one other person?
    I have this feeling that all i want is you, but when I’m with you I feel like you’re suffocating me. This can’t be right, to have this overwhelming urgency to need something that only hurts you and makes you feel so little.

  • Scythe42 commented on the post, plague 1 month, 3 weeks ago

    I think i have
    the plague.
    It is growing inside me
    like a watermelon seed,
    but it’s only for
    female humans,
    eating away at intestines,
    at my heart
    and my lungs
    and I cannot breathe
    I am drowning
    drowning
    from the past
    and the blackness
    of my future
    as it envelopes me
    into looking into
    glass nothingness.
    My reflection does not stand
    but walks away from me,
    shaking her head,
    tears licking the floor
    as she slips away from me.
    And I want to know,
    where did she go?
    what do I do

    now.

  • Scythe42 commented on the post, weathered 3 months ago

    My whole body is numb.
    I want to fix the problems,
    fix his brain.
    I want to carve his neurons
    into computers,
    abiding my please
    of quieting his jokes
    and his antics.
    I want him to say
    “how was your day dear?”
    I want him to hold a conversation
    that doesn’t involve mocking
    or joking
    or anything.
    Just him.
    I want to drill his skull
    and rip out the half of his brain
    that is his ego,
    that is his shield
    from low-self esteem,
    insecurity.
    I want to take the armor
    from the child
    and tell him
    he is only a child,
    and that it is ok
    to be only a child
    and one should be a child
    during most phases of life.
    And that it is not a crime
    to be unsure of one’s choices,
    one’s life.
    I’m tired of bracing the wave
    to find the man on the raft
    floating in the sea,
    waiting for me to find him,
    starving for water,
    for breath.
    I am tired of invading
    his inner circle
    and getting electrocuted
    by his thunderous words.
    While I slowly,
    after every shock,
    creep towards him
    a little more,
    tears streaming down my face.
    Finally he sees the tears
    and stops the thunder
    and tears roll down his face as well,
    and he wants to break his own skull
    and shed his own skin.
    But it is tomorrow.
    Ordinary.
    And his armor protects him so
    once again,
    once he forgets about
    the tears.
    And his thunderous words starts again
    until he remembers again
    after he smells the salt water
    on my face.
    I wait
    until he remembers,
    another day.

  • Scythe42 commented on the post, simple 5 months, 2 weeks ago

    I fall into a crack
    like a computer virus,
    some misfit
    in juvenile detention,
    wondering how I got here,
    where I am,
    who I could possibly be
    in this crack in time,
    isolated from
    the universe,
    the forces that made me win,
    made me succeed
    as I followed them into the vortex
    of utter terror,
    like a sheep following
    the dinosaur into the comets.
    But why can’t I leave them?
    Am I any better by simply
    following the herd?
    Failure always ends in failure
    and independence does the same.
    It’s no fun and games.

  • Scythe42 commented on the post, bury 7 months, 1 week ago

    The world keeps moving,
    like a Charlie Brown song on repeat,
    reiterating its existential qualities.
    And we bury our past,
    forget what we learned from the mistakes
    and the horrors of everyday life,
    depressive […]

  • Scythe42 commented on the post, binding 8 months, 2 weeks ago

    The clothing hugged me
    like cling-wrap.
    I felt bound,
    like I was walking
    underwater,
    and my legs could feel
    everything
    as I moved across the ocean floor.
    They felt lighter somehow,
    but more of a […]

  • Scythe42 commented on the post, stillness 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    The brushes
    enter your ear
    like warm sand on your face.
    Her voice like sunshine
    on a cold winter day.
    The tangy guitar
    bittersweet-ly stings your ear
    like biting into a fierce orange.
    The words enter your […]

  • Scythe42 commented on the post, stillness 8 months, 3 weeks ago

    I slip under the grass
    like a child’s blanket.
    The sky, crystal blue
    above me,
    reminds me of my future self,
    staring endlessly
    into a vast, beautiful
    emptiness
    that is my life.
    The potential
    to reach […]

  • Scythe42 commented on the post, salvation 8 months, 4 weeks ago

    My head bobs slowly,
    a buoy in the sea,
    bobbing up and down
    and up
    and
    down
    and
    up
    and
    down
    until
    the waves
    the sound
    pushes me back
    and forth,
    every beat
    a separate froth
    against the […]

  • Scythe42 commented on the post, patrol 10 months, 1 week ago

    Hiccups
    are like awkward chickens.
    Poems are like
    awkward sentences
    mingled with sense
    and wisdom,
    like a penny hitting the ground
    tails up.
    And sometimes life
    is an awkward breath,
    a frantic inhalement […]

  • Delilah commented on the post, stretcher 10 months, 1 week ago

    they carried him out of the door
    and as she watched him go her heart sank…
    she always knew it would end
    but she never imagined it like this.

  • Delilah posted an update 10 months, 2 weeks ago

    I love you for many reasons. But sometimes the words don’t slide so easily off my tongue. Is it my mood? My irritability? My split personality? Or am I trying too hard for something that isn’t there? I don’t think we’d keep coming back to each other if our efforts were all in vain. But you know that I can’t help but pull apart every detail, every little thing that happens between us and analyze it for any hidden sign that we will fail or don’t belong together. Oh how I long to be able to go with the flow, be non-neurotic, carefree and normal as the people that pass me by on the streets.

  • Delilah commented on the post, crew 10 months, 2 weeks ago

    I’ve had this word before.
    I’ve had a crew before too.. but it seems that they never last for one reason or another.
    Maybe I’m to blame, but often times it’s the dynamics of the others that ends the […]

  • Delilah commented on the post, auxiliary 10 months, 2 weeks ago

    Stop giving me words that spark no emotion in me
    and stop giving me men that do the same.

    I’m tired of searching and I’m tired of being alone.

  • Delilah posted an update 10 months, 2 weeks ago

    Another night spent feeling empty, even though you’re there with me. Sitting in silence or with a TV to drown out the fact that we have no words to speak to one another. I love a lot of things about you. So much of what we have is so good. But I can’t help but keep thinking, I don’t love you… I don’t love your mind. Hours go by and instead of the constant, invigorating flow of conversation that I was used to with him – we barely have words to speak. Don’t get me wrong, we talk, we talk about our day, we talk about ourselves, others, some things here and there… but it feels like we don’t truly connect, we don’t talk for hours about everything.. we don’t even talk about films and music – we connect on barely any grounds. I know opposites attract, but do they last? I’m sorry to say, but at times lately I have longed for him – not his body, his lips, or even him to be mine.. but I miss our talks, I miss how we never ran out of anything to talk about… how after a long and failed relationship, if I called him up I’m sure we could still talk for hours – about meaningful, important and interesting stuff. Why do I have to lack this with you… why don’t you seem to feel the same way? Are you okay with these empty, non-invigorating relationships? Or am I just really never going to get over the connection I had with him?

  • Delilah posted an update in the group Group logoshare your psyche 10 months, 2 weeks ago

    Remember when the answers
    Used to be ”in the back of the book”?
    Remember when budgeting money meant
    Planning out how many nickels would go toward certain candy?
    Remember when a boy talked to you
    And you just walked away laughing?
    Remember when having fun
    Never required booze or drugs?
    Remember when going outside was always fun
    And you didn’t understand the concept of the word ”bored”?
    Remember when your imagination ran wild
    And every single thing you saw had the potential to be great?
    Remember when raking trails in the woods for hours was a successful day?
    And as long as you avoided a bees nest or dog you were happy..
    Remember when driving your Little Mermaid car around
    Filled you with more feelings of freedom than the day you got your license?
    Remember when plans of running away were disposed of
    And going inside for ice in a glass was the better option?
    Remember trying to smoke incense in the backyard?
    And stealing lightning bugs glow to smear on your face?
    Do you remember when things began to lose their novelty?
    When you started to think so cynically?

  • Delilah commented on the post, turbine 10 months, 2 weeks ago

    Like a turbine, there was reaction that was set of when subjected to pressure…
    i always tell him, don’t ask for “what I was thinking” if you can’t endure hearing it – - –
    yet I naively tell him, thinking his […]

  • Scythe42 commented on the post, overalls 10 months, 3 weeks ago

    He wore overalls.
    I wondered why
    choices are so hard to make
    when they are not
    for someone else.
    The sky widens like
    some apocalypse,
    lightning ready to strike us down
    at any moment.
    The thunder I could […]

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