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Delilah posted an update in the group
They said… 1 week, 4 days ago“I’m afraid that some times
you’ll play lonely games too.
Games you can’t win
’cause you’ll play against you.”
- Dr. Seuss -
Delilah posted an update 1 week, 4 days ago
He told me, ”…that’s what you do when you make a mistake”.
It hurt to realize I was the mistake. -
Delilah commented on the post, taboo 1 week, 4 days ago
is it taboo to want real, all encompassing passionate love with just one other person?
I have this feeling that all i want is you, but when I’m with you I feel like you’re suffocating me. This can’t be right, to have this overwhelming urgency to need something that only hurts you and makes you feel so little. -
Scythe42 commented on the post, plague 1 month, 3 weeks ago
I think i have
the plague.
It is growing inside me
like a watermelon seed,
but it’s only for
female humans,
eating away at intestines,
at my heart
and my lungs
and I cannot breathe
I am drowning
drowning
from the past
and the blackness
of my future
as it envelopes me
into looking into
glass nothingness.
My reflection does not stand
but walks away from me,
shaking her head,
tears licking the floor
as she slips away from me.
And I want to know,
where did she go?
what do I donow.
-
Scythe42 commented on the post, weathered 3 months ago
My whole body is numb.
I want to fix the problems,
fix his brain.
I want to carve his neurons
into computers,
abiding my please
of quieting his jokes
and his antics.
I want him to say
“how was your day dear?”
I want him to hold a conversation
that doesn’t involve mocking
or joking
or anything.
Just him.
I want to drill his skull
and rip out the half of his brain
that is his ego,
that is his shield
from low-self esteem,
insecurity.
I want to take the armor
from the child
and tell him
he is only a child,
and that it is ok
to be only a child
and one should be a child
during most phases of life.
And that it is not a crime
to be unsure of one’s choices,
one’s life.
I’m tired of bracing the wave
to find the man on the raft
floating in the sea,
waiting for me to find him,
starving for water,
for breath.
I am tired of invading
his inner circle
and getting electrocuted
by his thunderous words.
While I slowly,
after every shock,
creep towards him
a little more,
tears streaming down my face.
Finally he sees the tears
and stops the thunder
and tears roll down his face as well,
and he wants to break his own skull
and shed his own skin.
But it is tomorrow.
Ordinary.
And his armor protects him so
once again,
once he forgets about
the tears.
And his thunderous words starts again
until he remembers again
after he smells the salt water
on my face.
I wait
until he remembers,
another day. -
Scythe42 commented on the post, simple 5 months, 2 weeks ago
I fall into a crack
like a computer virus,
some misfit
in juvenile detention,
wondering how I got here,
where I am,
who I could possibly be
in this crack in time,
isolated from
the universe,
the forces that made me win,
made me succeed
as I followed them into the vortex
of utter terror,
like a sheep following
the dinosaur into the comets.
But why can’t I leave them?
Am I any better by simply
following the herd?
Failure always ends in failure
and independence does the same.
It’s no fun and games. -
Scythe42 commented on the post, bury 7 months, 1 week ago
The world keeps moving,
like a Charlie Brown song on repeat,
reiterating its existential qualities.
And we bury our past,
forget what we learned from the mistakes
and the horrors of everyday life,
depressive […] -
Scythe42 commented on the post, binding 8 months, 2 weeks ago
The clothing hugged me
like cling-wrap.
I felt bound,
like I was walking
underwater,
and my legs could feel
everything
as I moved across the ocean floor.
They felt lighter somehow,
but more of a […] -
Scythe42 commented on the post, stillness 8 months, 3 weeks ago
The brushes
enter your ear
like warm sand on your face.
Her voice like sunshine
on a cold winter day.
The tangy guitar
bittersweet-ly stings your ear
like biting into a fierce orange.
The words enter your […] -
Scythe42 commented on the post, stillness 8 months, 3 weeks ago
I slip under the grass
like a child’s blanket.
The sky, crystal blue
above me,
reminds me of my future self,
staring endlessly
into a vast, beautiful
emptiness
that is my life.
The potential
to reach […] -
Scythe42 commented on the post, salvation 8 months, 4 weeks ago
My head bobs slowly,
a buoy in the sea,
bobbing up and down
and up
and
down
and
up
and
down
until
the waves
the sound
pushes me back
and forth,
every beat
a separate froth
against the […] -
Scythe42 commented on the post, patrol 10 months, 1 week ago
Hiccups
are like awkward chickens.
Poems are like
awkward sentences
mingled with sense
and wisdom,
like a penny hitting the ground
tails up.
And sometimes life
is an awkward breath,
a frantic inhalement […] -
Delilah commented on the post, stretcher 10 months, 1 week ago
they carried him out of the door
and as she watched him go her heart sank…
she always knew it would end
but she never imagined it like this. -
Delilah posted an update 10 months, 2 weeks ago
I love you for many reasons. But sometimes the words don’t slide so easily off my tongue. Is it my mood? My irritability? My split personality? Or am I trying too hard for something that isn’t there? I don’t think we’d keep coming back to each other if our efforts were all in vain. But you know that I can’t help but pull apart every detail, every little thing that happens between us and analyze it for any hidden sign that we will fail or don’t belong together. Oh how I long to be able to go with the flow, be non-neurotic, carefree and normal as the people that pass me by on the streets.
-
Delilah commented on the post, crew 10 months, 2 weeks ago
I’ve had this word before.
I’ve had a crew before too.. but it seems that they never last for one reason or another.
Maybe I’m to blame, but often times it’s the dynamics of the others that ends the […] -
Delilah commented on the post, auxiliary 10 months, 2 weeks ago
Stop giving me words that spark no emotion in me
and stop giving me men that do the same.I’m tired of searching and I’m tired of being alone.
-
Delilah posted an update 10 months, 2 weeks ago
Another night spent feeling empty, even though you’re there with me. Sitting in silence or with a TV to drown out the fact that we have no words to speak to one another. I love a lot of things about you. So much of what we have is so good. But I can’t help but keep thinking, I don’t love you… I don’t love your mind. Hours go by and instead of the constant, invigorating flow of conversation that I was used to with him – we barely have words to speak. Don’t get me wrong, we talk, we talk about our day, we talk about ourselves, others, some things here and there… but it feels like we don’t truly connect, we don’t talk for hours about everything.. we don’t even talk about films and music – we connect on barely any grounds. I know opposites attract, but do they last? I’m sorry to say, but at times lately I have longed for him – not his body, his lips, or even him to be mine.. but I miss our talks, I miss how we never ran out of anything to talk about… how after a long and failed relationship, if I called him up I’m sure we could still talk for hours – about meaningful, important and interesting stuff. Why do I have to lack this with you… why don’t you seem to feel the same way? Are you okay with these empty, non-invigorating relationships? Or am I just really never going to get over the connection I had with him?
-
Delilah posted an update in the group
share your psyche 10 months, 2 weeks agoRemember when the answers
Used to be ”in the back of the book”?
Remember when budgeting money meant
Planning out how many nickels would go toward certain candy?
Remember when a boy talked to you
And you just walked away laughing?
Remember when having fun
Never required booze or drugs?
Remember when going outside was always fun
And you didn’t understand the concept of the word ”bored”?
Remember when your imagination ran wild
And every single thing you saw had the potential to be great?
Remember when raking trails in the woods for hours was a successful day?
And as long as you avoided a bees nest or dog you were happy..
Remember when driving your Little Mermaid car around
Filled you with more feelings of freedom than the day you got your license?
Remember when plans of running away were disposed of
And going inside for ice in a glass was the better option?
Remember trying to smoke incense in the backyard?
And stealing lightning bugs glow to smear on your face?
Do you remember when things began to lose their novelty?
When you started to think so cynically? -
Delilah commented on the post, turbine 10 months, 2 weeks ago
Like a turbine, there was reaction that was set of when subjected to pressure…
i always tell him, don’t ask for “what I was thinking” if you can’t endure hearing it – - –
yet I naively tell him, thinking his […] -
Scythe42 commented on the post, overalls 10 months, 3 weeks ago
He wore overalls.
I wondered why
choices are so hard to make
when they are not
for someone else.
The sky widens like
some apocalypse,
lightning ready to strike us down
at any moment.
The thunder I could […] - Load More