every measure is taken
to make very,
that it’ll never end
days pass in a haze
couldn’t care less
in a habit
spiriling down like a plane caught aflame
surrounded by lips that beg you to stop-
before it’s too late
they don’t understand,
oh if only they could know
the depth of misery a soul can experience
if they could just glimpse the intensity of pain;
they would finally shut up
and all would be left
to atrophy quietly,
broke up with cody like over 2 weeks ago, my heart really hurts :(
i’m going down to the metro today, to see what there is to see. i’ll be joining colleges and friends. I’ll be presenting, so please stick around, and I’ll be dancing and following a tour, the last one trailing behind. Yes! that’s where you’ll see me, wandering in the pack, and singled out on stage. come see.
Pay attention to whom you share your intimate energy with. Intimacy at this level intertwines your aural energy with the aural energy of the other person. These powerful connections, regardless of how insignificant you think they are, leave spiritual debris, particularly within people who do not practice any type of cleansing, physical, emotional or otherwise. The more you interact intimately with someone, the deeper the connection and the more of their aura is intertwined with yours.
Imagine the confused aura of someone who sleeps with multiple people and carries around these multiple energies? What they may not realize is that others can feel that energy which can repel positive energy and attract negative energy into your life.
I always say, never sleep with someone you wouldn’t want to be.
~Lisa Chase Patterson
“The world is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper”
”If you want to become whole, let yourself be partial.
If you want to become straight, let yourself be crooked.
If you want to become full, let yourself be empty.
If you want to be reborn, let yourself die.
If you want to be given everything, give everything up.
The Master, by residing in the Tao, sets an example for all beings.
Because he doesn’t display himself, people can see his light.
Because he has nothing to prove, people can trust his words.
Because he doesn’t know who he is, people recognize themselves in him.
Because he has no goal in mind, everything he does succeeds. When the ancient Masters said, “If you want to be given everything, give everything up,”
they weren’t using empty phrases.
Only in being lived by the Tao can you be truly yourself.”
— Lao Tzu
“In the end, only three things matter:
how much you loved, how gently you lived,
and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.”
— Buddhist saying
The lust kicks in and I don’t know where to go. I’m stuck in this hole I’ve been digging, this lustful grave of wants and desires and it feels good when the hole’s being filled, but when it’s empty.. only full of needs, I struggle to crawl out, pull myself up and out from the misery so I can run away and find a new place to mettle with. It’s another vicious cycle and I think it’s turning you on…
So many friends, lovers and family have been torn from my open heart that I can’t figure out how feel the joy of loving life. A lack that welcomes death more than the vibrant life it yearns for. Roots that I can’t kill remain safe behind the wall of time, kept for eternity in the emptiness of my heart. A fire that destroys without sight or witness.
I will make it through the bricks. I will see the clear horizon. But a part of me fears that I’m setting myself up for desiring something that life has proven to not be true. So I punch the wall just to bleed. The pain, more important than the clarity. Close to death I know I’m alive.
Vast, barren land, surrounding,
nothing more than heat dazed bugs for miles.
it sits alone,
The space between you and me are where dreams come true.
There’s too many people I want to say something to, but I cannot speak, thanks to the damage you’ve done.
Everyone would know me as the most forgiving, but I find no matter how much you appologize I still hold on to the bitter resentment.
Any unsavory changes I’ve made in the last months I could link to you. I don’t like who I am anymore, I’m not proud of what I’ve done. I see myself becoming more and more frustrated, angry, distrusting and lost, filled with self hatred. More like you. But one thing I haven’t given up on is trying.
I might not ever get close to being who I was again, but I know eventually I’ll come to love myself once more. You see, I found someone else, someone who loves me even as I am now, who loves me unconditionally. I’m moving away from the ugly little chapter you created in my life and on to better days.
Best of luck,
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