aleec

aleec

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ferry

I am ferrying ideas around in my mind, letting them swirl until they become solid enough. I let them drift together, on the tide of my thoughts, until they are concrete.

She was selling everything she owned, and nobody knew why. They couldn't know that she was scrounging up every penny she could in order to disappear. There was no way for them to know that her flight left at midnight, and this was the last time anyone of them would see her alive.

pupil

She was a pupil of the pain, writhing in agony and joy. He had finally made her understand that there was no going back to the life she led before, no longer would she have family and friends. She was his star pupil, and she was ready.

He lay in bed, with a soft duvet covering her half of her soft body. Her breath fell ever softly, a slight smile upon her lips. She was dreaming, something magical as always. For him, he needed no dream, for his dream was laying there beside him. She was better than any television program, any book, or any fantasy. She was his perfect reality.

Her irreverent manner in all things upset him. How could she be so callous and shrewd, so lacking in basic feminine mannerisms? Her very nature was against nature, and he would not have it. She did not know it yet, but she had been chosen from that moment on to be restructured. "I will not fail again," he murmured to himself.

She gazed out the window and beheld the snowy ground. It was negative 23 degrees outside, and yet in her mind, she was at the beach. Not that she was wishing she was there, or that she was in her happy place, but she really was there. See, Laurie was not a normal fifteen year old girl, for Laurie's window was barred and in Laurie's mind, she really did see sandcastles and children playing, young couples flirting in the water, and families enjoying a day in the sun. For this, they deemed her crazy, unfit for society and unable to care for herself. But she knew the truth. She just saw what no one else could see. And she watched sadly as the tide came and took the beautiful sandcastles with it, and in time, she came back to the present where there was nothing but snow and cold that penetrated deep into her heart.

He was a disciple of the pain, a lifelong student. He could foresee no other future for himself, no white picket fence with children greeting him home. His chosen path had taken him on an entirely different route in life, one where bloodshed would be his constant companion.

She had no creativity, and was barely coming to terms with it. She would forever be subjected to a life of meaningless jobs that she held no passion for, and all because her creativity was sadly lacking.

hero

My hero, so young and innocent. She saved me, and has no idea. As she runs and plays, barely learning to talk, she is oblivious to the fact that I would not be alive if she had not been born.

She kept climbing, ever higher, until she at last breached the tall canopy above. As she burst through that celestial barrier, her soul at last burst free, and she could allow herself to feel again. After so many years of keeping herself under control, she finally let go.

writing since 2013 · 11 entries · 11 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means Amanda showed up.

5longest streak

11days written

5.1entries / week

on this day 13 years ago

Amanda wrote about barricade
“The barricade was not a tangible thing. It could not be seen, nor heard, nor even felt. The barricade was within her, halting her heart.”

the words Amanda reaches for

herselfmindbarricadeheartburstfinallyyoungbarelyalivecreativitysadlylackingpainhimselfchildrenchosen