amandamc

amandamc

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Laughter is said to be the best medicine. I have been in intense physical pain, and attempting to laugh and smile all the while. It did some good. I love to laugh. I think that if you don't laugh at least once a day you have lost something. Or exceeded in just not finding something. Something wonderful.

I took the long, winding drive to the pharmacy. I had to pick up the prints from our last vacation. I had ordered them to be developed two days earlier. Five hours before he left me. Here I was, tear-stained face, going to get those smiling photos. Those lies.

God and His love for me. What a great and wonderful mystery. I know it is hard for many to believe in the the things I follow as truth. Christianity is an odd religion. Not because it just seems wrong. But because it relies on love. And mystery. The Incarnation is fascinating to say the least. There are many things I believe without having to see them physically with my eyes. Faith is terrifying. And yet, it is what I let rule my life when I can. I want to have hope, because it IS a mystery.

I had to transport the dear boy to his new school on Tuesday. He was hiding his anxiety well, but ever so slightly I noticed he was bouncing his leg up and down in the back seat. This is a habit I have when I am nervous as well. "Everything will be wonderful!" I said to him.

I missed a chance to go out west and work in film. I missed a chance to find a career working behind the scenes of the movies. It was a dream. I missed the opportunity to live a crazy hippie existence. And why? Because I didn't want to live my life being treated like garbage. I am happy in the life I have now.

Driving is one of my least favorite activities in the daily grind. I am not a fan of paying attention to all the others on the road who fail to pay attention to me. I hate having to steer and put my foot to the pedal. Especially now that I have an injured right ankle; it is torturous business.

Driving is one of my least favorite activities in the daily grind. I am not a fan of paying attention to all the others on the road who fail to pay attention to me. I hate having to steer and put my foot to the petal. Especially now that I have an injured right ankle; it is torturous business.

wings

If I had wings, I sometimes feel I would fly away. To somewhere that I could rest. Recharge. Calm. But to leave now would feel like foolishness; it would be foolishness. I used to pray for wings and the courage to fly away from all of this. Now I pray for the courage to stay and be the best me I could be. I am in love, and that has made the difference.

amuse

You amuse me so. You amuse yourself sometimes too, and the crinkles next to your eyes as you giggle make me crinkle mine as well. We can laugh and smile together and I feel the happiness in life when I am with you. We also cry and curse and pray. Oh life.

writing since 2011 · 9 entries · 8 days shown up

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on this day 15 years ago

amanda wrote about transport
“I had to transport the dear boy to his new school on Tuesday. He was hiding his anxiety well, but ever so slightly I noticed he was bouncing his leg up and down in the back seat. This is a habit I …”

the words amanda reaches for

nowlaughloveleastattentionpraymissedwonderfulmysteryamusesometimeseyessmilewingsflyfoolishness