becbecmuffin
I feel like I've been drifting for a long time now. Drifting straight through life. I can't remember what being truly happy is, or how to keep it for more than a few minutes. I keep thinking about the accident. I keep thinking about death. It seems so exciting. My life is so boring. I'm ready to get out of here but I want so much more than just to get out of here.
What is a bulb? I change lamps. If I were to cal it a bulb I would be ostracized from the lighting community. And then executed.
I've had vodka twice. The first time it was raspberry, so I liked it. Drank it straight. The second time it was a shot of regular straight vodka. It tasted like rubbing alcohol. I'd rather drink something fruity.
I thirst for normalcy. I thirst for a medication that can stabilize my moods without turning me into a zombie. I thirst for sadness rather than depression. I thirst for happiness rather than mania. I thirst for understanding rather than knowledge. I thirst for poems rather than words.
I need to be the strong one in my family. My mom is nearly an alcoholic. My dad can't speak up. And my three little sisters are still just barely old enough to understand. I can't have the break downs I have. I need to take care of everyone and hold onto my strength for them. If I go down, they all come down with me.