cicconeyouth
As if the guilt weren't enough -- a montage of your deadliest mistakes all arriving in the post.
Simple math indicates that you are not safe.
I'm coming for you like you came for me.
I won't waste time telling you what's to come.
I want you to feel it.
The idea from birth is that you're mean to be someone special and amount to something.
Expectations.
Then there's the idea that people who turn out to be someone else they never planned to be, are probably better off.
If I said everything right
Structured myself to your dreams
If I became all those people you wanted me to be
I'd still find a way of disappointing you
We wore our pain like scarves in a long winter -- as if it would protect us. We hoped the chill of disappointment would never reach our bones again.
It is or it isn't, it was or it never was. There is no middle. All that happened was nothing but almost interactions which equated in nothing but broken expectations.
One would assume she'd learn from all the examples in her life. All the times she took a risk and it never paid off. All the lessens never learned and all the rules bent for selfish purpose. She never figured it out and she perpetually made these mistakes for as long as she lived.
One wouldn't consider my decisions to be very sage, but wisdom is not what I'm looking for here. I need to feel everything for myself, I can't go on warned word. One day I will be dignified and wise but until then I prefer just to burn things down.
Cotton wool on dead skin and all the reasons I can never go home.
I thought you had it in you but no.
I thought I had it in me but no.
You charge a high price for the damage that you cause. I pay you for your time and destruction and I'm terribly in debt.
load more entries
writing since 2011 · 19 entries · 19 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means Sam showed up.
2longest streak
19days written
0.2entries / week
the words Sam reaches for
matterideasimplelovedamageholeinteractionsmistakesbrokenexpectationstruthbetterstandsuicidetwiceremember