constancafreiredesousa
Take a deep breath. It takes effort to strive in the game of life, that's what we're looking at. There are winners and losers, there are the ones with all the prizes and the ones who have to pay a price that can sometimes be too much to handle. But then when the winners and losers are named as such, we start doubting the system, as it is with any game - but especially this one. So we doubt if the winners and losers exist in themselves or how much of it is just us giving things names, consequently heavy with meanings and consequences. The future is always given such a terrifying connotation and as you grow older you realize: it is actually that terrifying. They weren't exaggerating.
In that world where everything biblical would stay untouched, I didnt seem to belong. I was too curious, too nosy. I had to mess with everything I saw, including the sacred. So when the 500 year old bible showed itself in the hands of Maya, I couldnt help but aid time in the degradation of that object.
"Don't touch it", mum's voice sounded in my head.
I ignored her, extended my arm, opened my hand and received the object. It was dusty and it's cover was rough.
"Give it back", mum stepped in again.
She was still trying to discipline me and my curious hand. I ignored her once more. For the first time I passed the limits. I pretended not to hear Maya, picked up the bible and put it in my purse. Now we just had to leave.
Sighing, he stood up. His minutes were counted and he knew it. They would bomb the street, even though it was called Heaven. None of that mattered to them. The nightmares growled at him and the storm joined them. Then he heard the bang.
I jumped up when she yelled. I was used to taking orders by then, not questioning them were a rule. I was twenty, I wasn't allowed to question. Not to madam, especially! I ran to the living room, straightening the light wrinkles on my skirt, ready to obey.
She put the glass down on the window sill. Leaning on it, she could see out the window. It was a beautiful day, almost like nothing at all had changed. But everything ha. In a heartbeat, her life was different. And so, when in a few years it would be her turn to pick her own wedding dress, her godmother wouldnt help her choose it, like it had happened with her older sister. She picked the glass back up. Why stop now?
He felt like he had hijacked someone else's life. It didn't seem like he was living his own since she died. Because now, he was alone in that house, and as time was going by, he was starting to feel the need to add someone else to the house, so that it would finally become a home again. It was wrong. It was wrong to replace her, because in the end - and as he had always told her - she was irreplaceable. His life wasn't his own anymore. It had to be someone else's.
He sipped his bourbon. He couldn't help wondering, as the liquid dripped slowly down his throat, if she was ever coming back. He felt his insides burning and felt unsure as to if it was the drink or the fact that he'd lost her forever.
writing since 2014 · 7 entries · 7 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means Constança showed up.
3longest streak
7days written
4.5entries / week
the words Constança reaches for
helpnowwinnersloserselse'slivinghousewrongglasswindowolderpickedespeciallycuriousbiblemaya