dmerco64
While driving down a nondescript interstate, I looked over the baked horizon and spotted an indistinct cactus. Upon closer inspection, I realized that it was just the mummified remains of yet another overzealous tourist from the nearby city of Kalamazoo.
Your mom left a message saying that she is buying a ticket to the moon and that you should feed the hampster its dried carrots and egg whites while she is gone. She said not to turn the fridge on because theres a pelican stuck in the icebox. The moon must be pretty darn fun if shes giving up all that just to spend a fortnight in space.
My grandma burst through the door unannounced. She had a red backpack filled with corn on the cob and a frying pan in her hand. The first thing she said was "I hope you weren't expecting tomatoes." The truth is, I was. I can't say I was overjoyed.