eivanjack
i've expected way too much in my life. I expected that i would have a 6.0 at my school (not kidding) and on my way to harvard to become a doctor when i was in 4th grade. i thought i would be beautiful and skinny and adored by everyone. then i had 4 years of hell. i expected nana patti to live forever. she died when i was 13. i expected that my life would be perfect. i was wrong, but it's close.
i feel luxurious when a boy looks at me and smiles slowly. i feel like my one true luxury in life is my friends and my education; i have only the best of both. i wish that everyone could have at least these two luxuries, because to suffer without both is hell. i would know.
i have felt obsolete at times. when my freiends ditched me, i became the obsolete. now i have nothing in my life that is obsolete; i have eliminated it all. i have nothing that can't be used for at least something, so i think that i'm on my way to becoming a useful addition to society.
my bookshelves in my room hold my life from when i was a baby. now i use my floor to store my ideas. it's a lot easier and doesnt make my room as clean and perfect, i hate perfection. i need some mess so my mom remembers i exist and doesn't forget that i'm downin my cave; when i was upstairs she always remmebered me becasue i was throwing up in my bathroom and now i don't so she forgets me.