Ellaandlara
there was a train fare and i didn't know whether he would pay for it or whether i would. i was fretting about it internally. i always fretted about small things like this and it meant that I was constantly worrying. I really needed to find some way to relax. I knew of one very effective way but it wasn't the most recommended...
Tthere were different brands of jeans but I needed that particular brand. That was how I was going to become cool. My life would be so much better once I had joined the cool group. That's not how it works, said mum. You wont be happier if you hang out with them. They aren't nice people. She had no idea. If Jane liked you, then everyone would like you and I just wanted to be popular.
She had a benefits and then she realised that the benefits weren't actually benefits because they weren't actually benefiting her. So when Sean messaged her she flat out ignored him. Like, not just ignored but flat-out ignored. They had been communicating and seeing each other for a few weeks so her behaviour was rude, but she knew that she had to get away and start running right now. He could keep checking his phone indefinitely for a message from her which wouldn't arrive and he would be sad and she would be smiling.
she was a controller. thats what i called her. for a sister im not sure how she got that much power. you would think she was the parent. really we should have had equal power but her personality was so headstrong and i just couldn't stand up for her. so i got the smaller bedroom and she got free access to my wardrobe, she borrowed money from me whenever she liked and sometimes without asking, she got to socialise with my friends and contact them and become their friend without even asking. she was taking over my life but at the same time i couldn't imagine leaving her and living my own life on my own two feet.
she was so jealous of me. i could tell. the way she tried to smile but her mouth was slightly curled down around the edges. why did everything have to be about her in her world? Why couldn't she just be happy for me? insecure people were so annoying, so selfish. i would not even invite her to the party. let's see how she'd take that. I'd have green balloons and a green tablespread and Lila wouldn't be there.
i have tried. so much. so often. with so much energy. and with no result. still coming home at the end of the day to spend the evening alone and no one to talk to except the walls. to be shut inside my room with nobody else and realising that I don't like myself that much. He was right all along when he suggested that.
millions of chances. Millionf of choices. and i chos eyou. because you chose me. there was nothing romantic about it. but i wanted romance so i ditched you. and you were left alone. and you were sad. and i was feeling guilty but relieved and free and happy for all of five minutes and then i felt panic. becuase you were no longer ther eby my side like you had been for twenty years.
there were millions of stars in the sky that night. there hadn't been that many the night before. they had grown and they had grown in celebration if Elliot and Liv's engagement. because they were two people who had gotten engaged for the sole purpose of making all the single people feel jealous. when the engagement acually didn't change anything within their relationship. it was just one way to make a fuss.
it was a cup made of copper. i thought about buying it and then I decided to buy it. i grabbed a whole bunch of stuff that i wanted to buy. i asked Connor "what are you buying?" We put our stuff on the counter and paid. we carried it in brown paper bags. and we went to a cafe for a coffee. and we literally meant coffee - not tea or hot chocolate or water.
she swallowed it without giving a care. or at least it looked that way. but she had thought about it all fay. while she was sitting in meetings she had been thinking about it. whilst driving she had been thinking about it. now it was making its way down her digestive tract and who knew what was about to happen. she was pushing pause on her life and escaping somewhere else for a while.
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