emay

emay

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oven

Hot gas fills the air // makes the kitchen warm // as I watch, the light is quivering // a microcosm storm // suddenly I'm hungry // you're walking very near // looking straight at me // you say "when is dinner, dear?"

In a flash, she was off, reluctant to be anyone's fool. There were things in life you just stand up for - and this one one. After all, there are fewer ways to lose a friend than to treat them as if they were disposable. Like a mirror, this turns on you. She walked out the door for good.

bait

It seemed unlikely that they'd take the bait, it was all to obvious if you knew what was going on. But, with the trap set and the eyes fixed on the prize, the lure was working. What could she do but stop breathing? The moments in between were an eternity, but closer it was coming. She couldn't blink. She couldn't turn away. She couldn't look anymore. She shut her eyes and took a deep, quiet breath. A second chance... She opened her eyes, and there he was, looking directly at her. She screamed and jumped backwards, but they surrounded her. "This is a nice trap you've set for us." He grazed his finger across her writhing face. "Too bad you didn't realize that it was really a trap for you."

bait

It seemed unlikely that they'd take the bait, it was all to obvious if you knew what was going on. But, with the trap set and the eyes fixed on the prize, the lure was working. What could she do but stop breathing? The moments in between were an eternity, but closer it was coming. She couldn't blink. She couldn't turn away. She couldn't look anymore. She shut her eyes and took a deep, quiet breath.

Tell it like it is, dear friend, tell me of your pain. Let go of this battle sword, let go of the rain. Tell me of your sorrows, tell me once again, Let me hold your hand and be the voice of one more friend. I see the way you hold yourself, and you should not be ashamed - Everyone who's walked this path finds freedom once the lion's tamed.

I thought I saw you before I did, and then you were not you, the reflection of a shadow cast that appears long after you have soared above. You didn't have to die that day, but then again, none of us do. We could have died long before -- it could have been a much longer winter. The storm that you bring each time you rev your engine brings storms now, torrential hail and winds that gust from all directions.

let the same thing reappear, let my decisions be wiser this time and as the song we again will hear, let the music be sublime let me taste the cool spring water let the light of day begin to make us warmer to the other and bring the truth of the world on in

I've learned to look for the beauty in the world. What we seek we find. When I look for trouble, I find it. So, I look for beauty, for love, for ways to be helpful. I look for justice, for harmony, for the things that make life worth living. Love. Always love. When I find myself looking for something other than this, I know where I'm headed. So I turn again, aim towards the things I want more of in my life.

Picking a fight with myself. My past comes up from behind, throws its arms around my neck, knocks me to the ground. My future throws some kicks to the guts, one in the face for good measure. Tired and bleeding, I don't have the fight in me now to stand, barely to breathe. I lay limp until they give up. Minute two... Time passes. I look up, my eyes are red and full of sweat and tears. The sky is hazy, bloodshot. Time continues to pass. I feel my lungs, breathe in. I can be here, now. I can be here without their vengeance. I can be here without regret. I can be here, now.

Let's place the blame on the serpent who moves silently through the garden, the one who whissspered in the ear of the young woman so long ago. And we watch it, now, protecting the plants from rodents, not interfering with anything but the cycle of life. It coils around itself, sleeps under the rock at the back corner of the squash patch. The dog bounces around it, but does not attempt to attack.

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writing since 2011 · 58 entries · 53 days shown up

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on this day 15 years ago

emay wrote about compassion
“Little by little, the light turns around. I thought I was faster than the setting sun, he said, trying to get everything done. He has given me more than he might be capable of, but it's been just mom…”

the words emay reaches for

momenteyeslightfacedoorholdbreathpastanothernowstandmomentsmindcannotwallsshut