fleurdemuerte1
i'm dipping below that line
below the line of calm
dipping below to the uncontrolled
the unfiltered
the small crevices of my mind that i can not control
where my darkest thoughts are from
it is where i hide things
that no one knows
He watched her face as they walked into the office.
He saw as it transformed.
From the vulnerable scared expression it had worn just a little while ago, while they had been getting ready.
To a cold, hard mask concealing everything she was feeling.
Only those who could read people really well or who knew her as well as he did would be able to tell that anything was wrong. to the rest of the world it would seem as if everything was normal and fine.
And not know that she was hiding her feelings under a mask, or hiding bruises under her clothes.
Artistry,
what is the artistry of stage managing one may ask
you are always behind the scenes
and the real "art" as some may say is taking place onstage.
but the artistry of stage managing
is in the organization
the ability to
pull together
and to stay calm
the focus
the amount of hard work
awakening, i feel like i need one.
to come out of this dark hole
i have fallen into yet again.
its suffocating,
i can barely breathe
the darkness pressing down
heart racing
body shaking
and something catching in me
a fear
so deep
a questioning
why am i still here?
why...
Discovering that what we had was not as simple as it seemed
at first we were just us
and it grew
and grew
until even i do not know what is left
and what will be left
if it all crumbles down to the ground
i just want to save us
i don't think we could survive again
as we are still so broken now
if it were to fall
our pieces
i do not think any one could put back together
assisted.
helped
i think i dislike that word... assisted.
it makes me automatically think of assisted living homes.
and really i don't have much to write about that.
antlers hanging on the wall
a decoration
any meaning?
everything has a meaning
the animal
gave the antlers
when we hunted it
used every scrap
now hanging there
until something else is done with them
a knife hilt
buttons
needles
a myriad of things
use and reuse
give everything back
in the end
to the earth that gave to us.
History, is made when we remember,
and tell the stories of what happened,
major history,
minor history,
personal history,
history of a large group of people,
anything that happens can be history,
there are many types of history,
web history,
art history,
all told
all important
all forms.
This is intense he said,
looking out at the flames roaring.
a real bonfire,
as a city brat
i had never seen one,
well not a real one,
the ones we had at camp were nothing like this.
just a few good friends
and nothing but woods surrounding us,
this was it
one of the most serene things i had ever witnessed.
I gaze in wonderment at the change in your eyes you look lifeless like she is sucking the life out of you and deep down i know she is and i know there is nothing i can do to protect you she has you wrapped around her finger and her fangs deep into your heart, sucking everything dry, you already are half alive, living in a daze you are unfocused and i want to pull you away, pull you back take you back make sure you are okay, i need you i will never say it but i need you more then you could ever imagine.
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