fulchaos

fulchaos

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televised, my experience might as well've been televised. She did it in the secrecy of our home but as i walk the streets i receive these glances, these knowing stares as if my life were a tv program and everyone's favorite episode was "the breakup".

weather, the weather today is synonymous with my mind, the clouds gather and cloud the skies like my thoughts. the light blue skies shine through like my good thoughts while the clouds cover most of the sky.

cast

Cast it all away and take my hand. It never has to be perfect, it never will be perfect, but now is as good a time as any. Take my hand and let the rest of our lives, the one's we've always wanted to live, begin now.

Wealth, the presence of richness. Simple definition, enumerate perspectives. I'm poor as shit, not a cent in the bank, I'm rich as fuck, all the love in the world, Broke, never left my comfort zone, Wealthy, I've got many places I call home

Instill, what values should i instill in you. new to the world, new to this view. these things all around you, this crazy world, all these sensations, these thoughts must swirl, i want you to succeed, i want to give you the tools, to be anything you want, to live a life thats full.

European, im supposed to be european and not american, I swear it! my love for soccer, my appreciation for theatre and my hatred of baseball really leans towards european and not american.

sensible, make sensible decisions they always say. but why make sensible decisions in a world that makes no sense. and anyhow, in the mind of the maker, almost every decision makes sense, even if it travels through a very particular, seemingly chaotic, misunderstood maze-like thought process.

Genetics, what we are made of. the things that make us who we are. its commonly argued what effects us more, our genetics or how we are raised and it is undoubtably a combination. genetics lay down unchangeable pieces of us but so much more of us is malleable. everything we see during a day has the potential to profoundly change us.

and at that point I started the reconstruction. the reconstruction of myself without her. she was part of my foundation and with her gone i had to rebuilt again and rebuild anew.

aura

aura, she just had an aura about her. in unexplainable thing. as unexplainable as it may be, as a writer and philosopher i will try to explain it. it must have been a special spark of humanity and brilliance that made he shine like a star. a beautiful beautiful star.

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writing since 2013 · 24 entries · 23 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means Kayaus showed up.

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on this day 13 years ago

Kayaus wrote about european
“European, im supposed to be european and not american, I swear it! my love for soccer, my appreciation for theatre and my hatred of baseball really leans towards european and not american.”

the words Kayaus reaches for

thoughtswintornadoloveperfecthandbeautifuldontcontinuebottlesensebloomedgeneticssensibleeuropeangenius