hildi

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I slouch over my computer keyboard, furiously banging out word after word after word, the holidays looming closer and closer. Christmas trees sprout from every corner, chanting in their strange earthy language that I need to hurry up.

study

Studying is exactly what I am trying to avoid right now. Studying my surroundings, realizing I'm alone. Studying my notes, realizing passing is growing more hopeless by the day. I really would rather do anything but study. It always reveals unpleasant truths.

rules

Rules cage me in around every corner. And yet their pressure is comforting, suffocating me with familiarity like an old quilt sewn by my nanny. But it's time I threw off the quilt and stepped into the harsh and unpredictable cold.

flare

Flares burning bright in the dark of the night, like pin prick points on my eyelids. Feel them stare, know they're there, take comfort in their light.

writing since 2011 · 8 entries · 7 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means Heidi showed up.

2longest streak

7days written

0.1entries / week

on this day 15 years ago

Heidi wrote about rally
“I begin to rally my senses, bracing for the day ahead. I know it will be tough, but I don't have to to pause and adjust. I just have to keep going, pressing forward despite my fears and despite the p…”

the words Heidi reaches for

studyingworddespitelightcornerquiltrealizingclosertowardsgoalbeginrallysensesbracingaheadtough