hippylove21
She walked in to the gallery slowly examining all the art work. Taking each piece in one at a time, heart and soul feeling overwhelmed. It had just dawned on her that all these pictures were hers. That the people that were there wanted to not only look at but also purchase and displays these things in their homes. All her life she was told that painting was just a hobby and now she finally got to show every one how wrong they really were.
She would often just sit back and watch her life slowly go down the drain. There was nothing she could do about it, not with out help. But, that was the problem she didn't want help. She wanted to stay with the boy who beat her, she wanted to do the drugs that were destroying her life, and be with the friends that didn't care. If no one else cared why should she. Her friends were to high to ever notice what her boyfriend was doing to her and as for her parents they where to busy trying to ruin each others lives that they didn't even give their daughter a second thought. Things might of been different if she had a sibling that she could look up to but she didn't. She was an only child who created a surrogate family out of the friends she had. There were a couple of kids that she went to school with, when she would go to school, that showed a mild interest in her well being, but they didn't count to her. They were the kids that went to church and did everything right she didn't care what they had to say. She knew that they didn't really care it was just so they could continue to be perfect. She didn't want or need any ones sympathy especially if it was fake. She had everything figured out and that was all that mattered to her. Or at she thought she did, that all very quickly changed when she woke up in the hospital with tubes running through her body cause she couldn't handle being alone anymore. She couldn't handle the lack of love she was getting and she knew that no one would miss her except for the few church kids from her school.
In edition to all the pain she was suffering on the inside. She was suffering on the outside as well. If she said that he didn't like he would take action. It was the same way if she did something he didn't like. She hid all her pain well painting on smiles and make up to hide all the bruises. Walking on egg shells around him, doing what he asked with out hesitation. Making sure everything was perfect for him but still some how she wasn't doing something right. She always upset him some how even when she was doing nothing. She wanted to leave but she couldn't. She didn't know why but she loved him and that kept her there. She knew that he was taking advantage of the fact that she couldn't bring her self to leave. But, she didn't care she was going to do what ever it took to make him love her as much as she loves him. Even if that meant dealing with the pain.
On a whim she ran out the door, hopped into her car, and drove. She didn't know where she was headed but she didn't care. Just as long as it was far away from the pain and the stress.She felt free as she drove she wanted as far away as possible. She was going where ever the road was going to take her. No real plans except to stay in hotel rooms and work random jobs when she ran out of cash to support her. Oh, and not get caught running away from home. That was her only fear was being caught.
It was summer time and all she wanted to do was hang out with her friends and act like a kid. But that wasn't happening this year. This was the year she had to grow up whether she was ready for it or not. She had to take care of her siblings while her mother wet on her drinking binges and her father worked. She had to give herself to her boyfriend to prove that she really loved even though she wasn't ready. This was the year that she hid behind her drug habits and cutting. This was the summer that she changed. She no longer wanted to be in dance or cheer. She no longer wished to attend her summer student council meetings. This was the summer that she learned that she didn't care anymore. There was no one around to tell her that the path she was choosing was wrong or bad for her. There was no one around her to care what she was doing and she took advantage of it. When her summer ended and school began she no longer had the same friends she had started with or the same boyfriend. She was a totally different girl and still no one seemed to notice her.
Waking up is hard for her to do, but going to sleep is even harder. She knows that if she goes to sleep she won't want to wake up, and if she does she'll be sorely disappointed. All she wants is to be normal just to love life like she knows she should. But, sometimes it's so hard for her to get through things like she needs to.
The bruises were in blotches across her skin almost making it look like she had a skin disease. No one question where they came from and if they did she wouldn't answer. It's not that she didn't know but if she told on him it would ruin everything that was going for her mother an she couldn't stop that. She couldn't talk about how at night her step father would come into her room as her drunken mother would lay on the couch passed out. How when he was in her room he would crawl into her bed. How if she fought him he would hit her. He was rich and her mother wasn't so why would she take that away from her. He did make her mom happy when she was awake and sober as rare as that was she wasn't going to ruin the small grain of happiness her mother experienced for her own needs. That would be selfish and if there was one thing she wasn't it was selfish.
She was getting to the point where she was being ran ragged. Between being a single mother with no help from any one, remaining class president, cheer captain, and valedictorian it was almost too much for her to handle. But she knew that if she gave up now it would only prove her mother right and that was the last thing that she wanted to do. So she just kept her head up and continued on like the strong independent woman she knew she was. She had to give her kid something to look up to. She knew that getting pregnant at such a young age was dumb but she also knew that she didn't regret it in any way and any one who told her to just give up was wrong she wanted them to know how wrong they were.
All she needed was the support of her loved ones to carry on. But, she couldn't even get that, so then it was decided for her what she needed to do next. All she needed to do was tie up her loose ends and disappear and she new it was going to be that simple. So she wrote her letters to everyone packed her bags to look like she was going on vacation and went as far into the woods as she could. Finding a dry spot she burned her bags as her final goodbye.
Every thing was going perfectly for the time being. But, with her past she was just waiting for it all to fall apart. It was how things were supposed to be, she would have it all for the time being and then when it came time her whole world would come crashing down around her. She tried to enjoy what she had at the time but it was quite difficult for her to do when she was always looking over her shoulder for the impending doom.
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