jml3116
You moved here and he never could he will never leave texas he will be swirling around the flat highways on his bicycle and i will be walking through midtown in a tight black coat timelines and lots of lines turned and erased and decided i think it was never going to happen
the camera is the killer. the pictures stained in sun and a love that is no more. i can't look through the lense of our love anymore. I must put it down. I can not look at our pictures and long for the glassy shell of our summer. you and i. i and you.
We are out of orbit.
My atmosphere has combusted.
Truly apart.
Circumnavigativing my own despair.
Why do I yearn for construction sites
hard hats
yellow boots
vacancy
rubble and despair
I am okay in the most concise form. I am okay. However, I should be feeling great. I should be basking and sinking and seeping. But the shudders under my skull are temporarily locked shut. It is tough for me to relate whats going on outside to what is going on inside
what an interesting approach to the whole situation.
drive by with your hand sticking out and that stupid grin.
pretend like there was nothing ever planted.
just keep smiling and asking me about my play.
do not address the tension, the static that inebriates me
just keep being you.
and ill be me.
i suppose thats the best approach.
the whole of me.
is still sore and sullen.
the whole of me
is raw and ravaged and biten and biting
the whole of me
is sheepish and disintegrated
the whole of me
is shiny and scintalliting
the whole of me
in blue jeans and blue tatters
the whole of me
is sick with the sorrow and silliness
the whole of me
is still resting in you
The shape it has all taken. the corners i have cut. i like to say they are with your cruel glittery scissors. but actually this one is all me.
I saw you at the gym.
Basketball sneakers and shoulders hunched in.
I stared into your face flustered and finagling for words to fill our mini space.
I was wearing this frayed tie dyed shirt and all I wanted to do cover my red cheeks.
You spoke to me, really speaking, if that makes any sense.
And I really listened, if that makes any sense.
Those black heels. With the buckle. They hold me high above the world. they have the salt from that night where the snow had seeped into sidewalks. They hold the dust from that sparkling night i kicked my feet up on your knees. and of course our night. the blowing magic. my heels held me up. as my ankles knocked and knees saunter from side to side. as you look at me, like i am tall and something to look at. i must not have been too great.
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writing since 2010 · 90 entries · 88 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means jenna showed up.
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the words jenna reaches for
wholeheartlovewishingholdcoldsomehowstucktinystickheldredinsidegreatperfectlyblack