jordanybusiness
I shot up and sat upright with my fingers in my hair. It was just a dream. It's fine.
I thought, she rolled over and slowly asked, "Hey, are you all right?" her voice cracking.
"Yeah, I'm fine." I mumbled. She pushed my hair onto one shoulder and kissed my neck, quietly asking if I was sure. I felt a smile tugging on the corner of my mouth, and laid back down pulling her arms around me, "Mmhmm, I'm okay."
Swan.
Like the demented swan in the lake at Culver Creek.
In Looking For Alaska.
"Ah, shit." I mumbled as I stepped outside and the sunlight streamed directly into my eyes, I put on my aviators and walked down the street, wandering aimlessly, and in my own little world - for God only knows how long - until I heard a slow, soft, "Hey, gorgeous." as I turned the corner. Not gonna lie, I jumped a little. I wheeled around and there she was. Leaning against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest, somehow managing to look badass and seductive.
"What do you want?" I answered playfully. And she just rolled her eyes and giggled.
I pulled my hood up and zipped my jacket. I knew what I was doing, I was going to walk until I had service, then I'd call her. She'd come for me. I just couldn't handle the screaming anymore. I had to leave. I popped the screen out of my window, left the note on my desk knowing my mom would see it. I jumped out, and walked down the dark street.
"What the hell!" I flipped over the table and stormed at her, "What the actual FUCK are you thinking!" I threw a punch at her and she jumped back, my fist barely grazing her face.
We stood under the light at the corner of the street just staring at each other, waiting for the other to make the first move as always. The rain poured down her face and she smiled in that cute way she always does when she's nervous or unsure, I ran my fingers through her hair and kissed her. I pulled back and said, "Oh yeah. I love you too."
I sat there tossing pebbles into the water, listening to the scattered splashes, I looked over at her and she was just staring off into space, like always, she always looks angry when she's thinking.
"Why'd you bring me here?" I asked once I finally got up the courage.
"...I needed to tell you something."
I want to take more pictures. I want to capture a perfect moment in time. I want the silly pictures you take in a photo booth, I want to keep pictures of us together and see how we change ever so slightly as the months go on. I want to save those, "You had to be there" moments, or us before a dance. A flawless still of a beautiful instant - fleeting, but still so faultless. One's memory will fade, and who knows, you might too, but looking back at our photos, I can feel and see it all again. I can go through the cliche picture of us holding hands, or kissing and feel the butterflies all over again. That's all I want, to hold our greatest moments forever.
I tore the pages off of my wall, the staples staying embedded, I didn't want any reminders. I didn't want the love letters, the silly drawings, the insignificant post-it notes, I didn't want to see them anymore.
I leaned against the window, with my fingers in my hair, watching the sunlight cast my silhouette along the floor. I stared, transfixed on her as she painted with pastels and strikingly bright colours. Her hands gliding with ease across the canvas, I could only stare as I watched a masterpiece unfold before my eyes. Her utter focus was mesmerizing, with her lips pursed, her eyes narrowed, her brow furrowed, and paint streaked through her hair she was even more beautiful than her art.
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