kathrosis

kathrosis

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I was stuck and I couldn't move. I herd the shouts and the explosions of compressed air I ducked trying to avoid it I was not the target but I was to blame my involvement led them to their end now I stand tall as acting sacrifice the one thing i can do to make this crossfire stop i feel a bite in my chest and then another in my leg more screaming and shouting and then silence I'm dead.

date

I saw you far away and the days couldn't have rushed in any faster. I knew that after that day that nothing would be the same. In seeing you face to face, I wouldn't be able to hold my feelings in any longer. They would burst out of my skin and become who I am and who you saw me to be and I wouldn't be able to take it all back not that I could make myself back into the person I was before you.

giving way to the harsh winds and swaying in them the grass looked like the ocean, blue like the sky and moving flowing wanting to be something that its not being what the world wants it to be. it bluegrass, like the ocean being something its not.

its so easy to be sad sometimes to become so strung up on life that all you want to do is curl up and cry everybody knows what it feels like to wake up and feel worried and more broken then the night before to focus on something negative and pick at that string nervously until it unravels into something that's completely unrecognizable to leave the sheets off the bed to find comfort in a face down carpet make out session to look over your shoulder to make sure that you're completely alone before you press play on that Regina spektor song, and no Regina it's not better, yet but for a moment let me indulge myself in this encompassing gray sweat suit-- it's a metaphor and one that I will rock like the Kardshian's told me to..not that I can keep up... people tell me that self pity is destructive and like any medication taken in excess... I couldn't agree more, but today give me a mourning period even when I have nothing to mourn allow me briefly to experience the low so that whenever I claw my way back to high, people will think that I am amazing look away if it bothers you, it won't last long and by the time you turn back around I will have rebirthed like the phoenix giving harry the wings to fly that doesn't change the fact that it is so easy to be sad sometimes.

vapor

I watched the water in your glass slowly become less and less as we sat there talking. it being more interesting than the conversation coming passing from your lips. I didn't want to here it al,l the excuses, the reasons, and lies that I've herd a thousand times. I'd rather sit there watching vapor.

white dust falls from above filling my lungs and making it hard to breath. Its the signs of a crumpling past. I don't move because I would rather choke than face the reality that all I knew is done and gone.

writing since 2013 · 8 entries · 6 days shown up

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on this day 13 years ago

kathrosis wrote about bluegrass
“giving way to the harsh winds and swaying in them the grass looked like the ocean, blue like the sky and moving flowing wanting to be something that its not being what the world wants it to be. it bl…”

the words kathrosis reaches for

facewhitedustcrumblingsignspastfillingratherlessherdeasysadsometimescompletelyreginagiving