ninjadragon56
Crush, the name is fitting, because that's exactly what they do.
He was great, absolutely, the fact that I had never once spoken to him didn't matter, somehow I had decided his entire personality, how we would act, our first date. Everything.
Damn reality
Lust, I try to ignore it. It's throbbing through me, I know my heart is beating faster and faster. I need to stop, I know I do but I can't. I feel my eyes flutter, I can't focus. I close my eyes, trying not to let all of these emotions overwhelm me.
"I wish I could see into the future, y'know? Predict things like who we're gonna marry and stuff. Wouldn't that be fun?"
"Yeah!" I said, excited. I smiled as we stared up at the clouds, you always had the best ideas.
"I'd like to see who you'd marry, so that I could make sure you were happy," You said, looking through the grass at me, "I'd makes sure that you would be happy,"
"Same here," I said and reached across the small space between our hands to clasp yours.
Our six year old dreams...
I held on tightly to you, I knew that you were the only thing in the world that could keep me safe.
I held on tightly to you, whispering nonsense to help console myself. You didn't whisper back, but I never expected you to.
I held on tightly to you, and even though I know you aren't alive, you helped me.
I once believed that somehow I could find something out there; anything that could give me a small bit of hope. Maybe somebody who would give a rats ass or anything else about me. All of my beliefs were wasted in wistful thinking. All of it was because of you too. Eff you.
writing since 2011 · 14 entries · 14 days shown up
each square is a day—lit means Emma showed up.
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the words Emma reaches for
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