oldschool
counting minutes, doing the same thing
over and over, falling into a
routine that will never be broken
nor ever support any life.
Even though i know these days are limited,
reality has a way of taking its sweet time.
sometimes you have two choices
but you cant figure out which one that you want to take.
you see both of them but neither make sense.
and you try and you think
but everything just gets in your way.
all the different thoughts in your head
just run around colliding with each other.
some thoughts intersect with another
causing you to get derailed from the original place.
then later, you realize just how off track you got.
so you try to hop back on and you cant find
the groove that you were previously running
then you cant find the words.
they slip, they drip right off your fingers.
into incoherent sentences that match nothing
to what you thought you'd like to think.
because in the end the road you picked
wasnt the road your thoughts were leading you down.
sitting there
holding things
memories
stories
they gather
dust
waiting
waiting
for someone
to choose
the one
on the left
or the
adventure
to the right
but patiently
it sits.
Quietly.
success doesnt lie with the medal around your neck.
it lies with the hard work, the dedication.
the effort.
success isnt defined by the recognition that you receive.
its the experience of it all.
the things that you take away.
the friends youve made.
and the lessons that youve learned.
Success defines who you are
but not with accomplishment.
Success is the character that you uphold.
It is ultimately who you become after it is all over.
i love audiences. I love being in front of audiences. knowing that everyone is expecting you to play something and you are the attention? its awesome. I feed off of it. during drumline, it literally was an adrenaline high. the minute that i saw the people i got this feeling like nothing else. like i could do anything. that was the happiest time of my life, ever.
today is one of those days
where if i could
i would sit down next to you
put my arms around you,
more than likely curl up next to you
tell you i love you and fall asleep.
content, with a smile on my face.
however, today is not that day.
but maybe tomorrow.
its what i feel when im with you.
like an entire piece
wholly new and complete.
not fragmented
i feel like the suns beating down
and the clouds are barely there
and i am wholly my own
im out of shape.
ive lost it.
everything i put my effort into.
one fall
one missed landing.
and its over
i miss the ability
i used to have
from doing something
that demanded so much.
then just left me when i
fell short.
this isnt what i wanted at all.
i didnt pick it.
id take it back.
but i cant.
im sorry.
im sorry for the past three years.