painton

painton

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By the way I stand tall. By the way I smile. It's by the way I move through my life and respond to those I encounter along the way. I am measured by my grace or lack of grace. I am seen through eyes of grace or anger. Most important, is the peace and connection I feel to the great "All That Is" of the divine Universe.

I wish they would. Sit over there. I know that I know what to do when I am in public. I know that there are right things to do, and wrong things to do. Clearly they don't live in a real world. they're delusional hippies from the 60's They should keep to themselves. Geez Mom. Quit necking with Dad in public. You're 84!

I have lost it. I feel numb and shallow. Spark or no spark, I remain in a dark limbo. Lifeless living. Clouds hang over the valley and they comfort me. I have lost interest in most things. I am no where while I am here.

it's all I could do to sustain the smile on my face. After the yelling, the nagging, the pushing of intentions that road over my mind, my soul, my existence. I wanted to stop the sound of his voice, but kept smiling.

Black and White. What I am hearing is clear. I can’t hear anything in between. You either are or you aren’t . It’s black and white. No shades or grey. No misty sentimentality. it’s black or white. Perhaps it is just me. I am not so unsure.

Black and White. I can't hear anything in between. You either are or you aren't . It's black and white. No shades or grey. No misty sentimentality. it's black or white. Perhaps it is just I. I am not so unsure.

Driving on a spring day. Window open with BB King's throaty voice playing on the radio. Sunglasses shading my eyes. I left my earrings on the night stand. I left my coat outside in the rain. But I hadn't forgotten to take both hearts with me.

desk

My desk. Where I work. No, where I procrastinate. No, where I edit. Wait. Yes, edit. Writing, life, relationships. Where's my eraser? Or spell check! If I could only transform the feeling, the experiences of my dreams, of the inner feeling of peace onto a peace of paper. On to the keyboard. Coffee. Yes, coffee. another way to procrastinate.

Love me love me love me. It is time to nourish my soul, my heart, myself. I can only love you when I love myself fully. Let me learn to be kind, to be gentle to be honorable to be loyal. And I will start with myself in hopes that you will be here to witness, to receive, to inspire and to share.

"Twice bitten..". What is that old saying? I can't remember. But I am feeling really aware of something that feels like a gift. Like I have landed somewhere I have been aiming for. Like i am arriving in my own life. Finally awake to the creation of my desire. He's all in one package.

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writing since 2011 · 119 entries · 111 days shown up

each square is a day—lit means Seansj showed up.

6longest streak

111days written

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on this day 15 years ago

Seansj wrote about half
“Half. That's what they say. Half. i am only half of a complete, what, being? My soul partner is my other half? Well, that may be true. I only know that I have never felt so complete since I met him, …”

the words Seansj reaches for

lovemindsittingblacksunfeelingwindowsweetdarkheartlookingfacewhitesatcoffeesometimes