pensivebanana
Hell on earth was living. There was no special circumstance that made their lives any bettor or any worse than anyone else's.
It was just life. Life in the legion, in their godforsaken military. Living to die, fighting to kill, leabing to come back in pieces. Broken promises and rings rusted with blood. That was all there was to it. Hell. Hell in the eyes of the parents who ran out, just to find their children destroyed, nothing but their memories remaining. Locked away in the eyes of those who knew them, who saw them fall.
Transmission. Relaying a message from one end to the other. A radio signal, a whispered secret. A letter.
Transmissions lost in translation. Petra's heart and hopes and dreams all scribbled in ink and the real words are tucked away, somewhere in between the loops of her C's and the curl's of her p's and the bump of her n's. Her father is no magician, no scholar. But he's her father, and in there he can find the slant of her l-o-v-e.
It's frightening, to find this hidden message, where he'd hoped to find declarations of return and of home, not pre-emptive goodbyes, not the birth of new lives, in other places, with other men who surely were not ready for his daughter.
And it hurts, although its selfish of him, he knows.
But it hurts that she signs the letter with all her affection, with Papa dearest, and sincerely. Yet her father sees that hidden transmission. In her last letter she scrawled out her l-o-v-e's for the man who was not ready for her, for the man who let her die.
She’s efficient. No, she’s more than that. She does more than enough. She’s powerful and to be feared. Strong and courageous and one of the very best. Levi needs more than efficiency, he needs near reckless bravery, near god like strength.
When they kiss it’s more than just enough. It’s all and everything. It’s burning and biting and sweet sugar from strawberry rations still on her lips.
She’s efficient, quick to spot the signs, quick to hide it carefully and ask for the doctor. The doctor is efficient, cold and measured. He gives her the tea, has the midwife massage her midsection, lets her yelp in pain and tells her to rest.
Her recovery time is less than a day, because she’s a soldier. She’s strong and brave and efficient. War doesn’t stop for strawberry kisses or little daydreams gone astray in her belly.
Efficiency is what kept her tragedy from hurting Levi any more than it had to.