phlux
"What exactly do you think you deserve?"
A happy life? I don't know, really. I've been alone for a while, and now she's come into my life, she's turned everything up, I don't even know where my stuff IS anymore-
"Is she what you deserve, then?"
I don't know. Maybe. I think it's what I needed.
I don't know any of these people. Standing alone, surrounded by faces and bodies and arms and legs, and I'm not sure why I'm here, and I don't know what I'm doing, and I-
"Hi!"
I'm jerked out of my thoughts, and turn to stare, terrified, at the interrupter.
"Are you just arriving? Welcome to college!"
Oh, god, what have I done?
A little creaking sound as I pulled open the door. I could hear the sound of something faintly knocking against the floor on the other side, over and over again.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
The doorknob rattled slightly in my hand, but my grip was steady.
"Come in."
It's hard to go without. I didn't really understand that before; to be honest, I still don't get it. It's a world with all the colors washed out, perhaps. Maybe it's looking up at the sky and wondering where all those clouds came from.
I've never gone without, even if I'd like to pretend as much - they've always kept me from falling.