ramp
My outlet for my sadness is running. I went on Saturday at about 10 pm and it was wonderful. I happened to see a guy steal something out of someone's van while I was running. I kept going obviously, because I'm a little white girl. But it was good to be out there in the world, in the night.
I hate wool socks. I know, they're all fancy and warm and comfortable, but the sound of wool reminds me of steel wool when my dad used to make me clean the outside grill off with steel wool, I would have to clean out the soot from the fireplace. "If you don't work, you don't eat" he would say. Therefore, I grew a hatred for wool.
I bought two chocolate brownies from the printmaking lab bake sale. Ever since, I have felt like I'm tripping so hard and I'm not sure what to even think of this. I have never been high, so I don't know if I'm just going off the deep end or if someone thinks its funny to play nasty jokes to college girls.
It was as sharp as needles, hearing him tell me that she was just a fling, just someone to be with when i wasn't around. But if I meant something, than she didn't. That's why I left him. The cold bastard can be with his fling now. And he is.
I'm a coward for not talking to my dad, for not attempting to tell him that "I'm sorry" for whatever it would be worth. But I think that he is also a coward for not trying to console his own daughter, to try to be a father to me. I think that he's more afraid than I am of our dysfunctional relationship and how it will never ever work out.
I have this phone that has a "nap timer" on it and the alarm is ridiculous, but it gets stuck in my head for hours of the day if I let it play on for too long in the morning. The alarm means getting up, and it's sad. It means that I will have to get out of the arms of my love and embrace the cold evil world that I work in daily.
Birth control pills seem to fuck everyone up. They make you go crazy from emotional problems, crying and laughing all the time. Who does that? When you miss a period because all that estrogen is in your body, you about have a heart attack because you think you'll be the next teen mom.