ReedRites
I felt like I couldnt fit in with everyone else’s plan. Who was I to think that I could? When i do the things I do…who in their right mind would find it something enjoyable? That’s the thing though that puzzles my mind. They do enjoy it. What a strange thing but it doesnt stop that overwhelming feeling. The emotion that swallows me whole into a deep pit of deception and defeat. Even when I am in the crowd it feels as if I am the only one walking this path. The only one to have stepped foot in this enclosing personal darkness. How is it that despite that I have enough knowledge to know that I am not alone? I always feel that I am the only one. The only one who knows my pain? Feels that my suffering is so miniscule? Why is it that I make myself secluded when all I want is to be accepted? Must I always crush my own happiness? Push away the people I love? Its a habit that I have shoved into the depths of my heart and soul. I can not fix my broken mind but I am the only one who has the tools to repair it. How can you feel anymore helpless than that? Be anymore helpless than that and to top it off…all you have is yourself. You just have your mind telling you that you cant do this or that. Displaying your worthless attributes all over the dinner table. At least if you were at the table you would be with others, but oh thats right you only made a reservation for one. You put these things on yourself and you know it. You do it on purpose to wallow in your pity. That is the only way you can do it that is, by yourself.