sammywammyy
I felt so...betrayed...He said all these things to me. All the right things. And he destroyed everything. Every single thing he worked so hard for. Why did he even bother in the first place? Why did I think I was special enough for him? To keep is attention?
The pink and white collar of life we grow to learn of as a child is what keeps us young at heart when we finally become true responsible adults. It's what controls our knowledge and conscious of right from wrong. Love and hate. Truth and lies. You and I.
I feel like I could scream into a megaphone on max volume and no one would hear me. No one would react. They'd just think I was crazy. And you know what, they're right. So for now, I'll just scream in my car parked somewhere where no one can see me. Just me, myself, and I. The only one who cares.
You failed me. Or, maybe, did I fail you. I don't know, but regardless. You're gone. I don't care if you talk to me once a year for my birthday. You're gone. You're not around. And maybe that's my fault. Maybe at the beginning it was my fault. But now, now, you've changed, I don't know you anymore. No one that cared about you back in the day, before all that stupid shit, they forgot about you. but I can't. Not like they did. Because I fucking loved you.
My first funeral. My first best friend. I never would have thought this would have happened. But here I am. And here he is. Buried 6 feet under the ground cold and rotting. While I'm warm and barely alive. It's weird, the ones who want to live die and the ones who want to die live.
Our teacher was just rambling on and on about some stupid assignment when I heard her say something about partnering up for a project. instinctively I looked over to Aurora who looking straight at me, nodded with a smile. I couldn't believe it. She chose me to be her partner.
I'm in a corner, the corner of my life. I'm at the edge. i'm about to fall. I'm in my car. Driving straight. An open road ahead of me. There's nothing to crash into. I need something to crash.I see a light pole and trees. I run a red a light. And then I see it.
I was looking for a plaid skirt to my new bow shirt when all of a sudden something purple caught my eye. There to my right was Mallory, my former best friend walking down the aisle with her friends. All of a sudden a rush of emotions overcame me. Did she see me?
There's no more mints. Fuck. My breath must reek. I'm totally busted I figure.
I walk into my house diligently ready to get busted any second, but no one even greets me. The house seems to be empty. Or maybe I'm just tripping out.
The stars I had stuck on my ceiling were faintly glowing. Blinking almost. And I started to wonder, is that how we are when we're dying? Blinking, shedding off our last inner light, the last bit of our glow, our life, love, and being -existence. Where do we g? Do we become dust?
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