sincerelyaverage
I would forget everything about us, everything that made me cry, what made us feel terrible and cold. Distant.
But that would mean forgetting you, how you made me smile and laugh and blush. You made me feel alive. You held me up until I realised that I can stand up on my own.
Now why would I want to forget that? I'll remember this pain forever as long as it means a chance to start new. I wish you hadn't forgotten what you told me last May.
I hate forgetting.
My life is a blur; dreams and reality are the same to me. I don't remember much of my past. I prefer it that way, really. When reality hurts too much to think of, it's best left unthought of.
When I do remember, it comes back to me in montages. I once remembered when I was three, lying down under that small blue kiddie pool with my four siblings, your four other children, hiding from you. I remember how the little fishies would float across our sky. I wasn't scared, under that pool. I wasn't scared until I was with you.
I was too young; you should've known better. I deserved much more than you gave me. Do you think it was justified, how you left us to fend for ourselves out there in the cold confines of our garage? Did you think it was fine to leave us, only ages three to ten, to feed ourselves?
We weren't capable of being our own mother. It doesn't work like that; that isn't reality. You wonder what ever made us leave you. You wonder why we still hold this grudge, even thirteen years later.
No wonder I can't even remember your name.
I remember when we used to sit among the dafodils, laughing, humming, listening to nothing.
We were content then, I think. I was happy with you in complete silence. We didn't have a care in the world, as long as we were together. Didn't you tell me that would be forever? Wasn't it you that told me that we could make it out?
You taught me how to live. You taught me how to be happy. You showed me that I was able to stand up alone, without the help of another, stronger person. You showed me what it meant to be alive.
I don't know if you remember me, but I remember you. Oh, do I. I'll never forget your amazing smile and beautiful personality. You are everything that I want to remember. I just wish you remembered the time that you told me you loved me.
Because I remember. Oh, do I remember...